hello hello my friends so today's episode is going to be very very special
episode when I say near and dear to my heart
I think that's an understatement I did a facebook live about a recent fight that
I had with my wife Fanny and to say that it's gotten some of the best comments
and feedback of anything I've ever put together has is is an understatement it
was something that I thought would come out as a 10-15 minute share about what
not to do if you want your relationships to succeed and in doing so I think I
poured my heart out for about 40 minutes so what you're about to hear is a very
personal and raw story I think it's very important to share stuff like this just
because I've been doing personal development work for 16 plus years does
not alleviate me or you know restrict me from having fights with my family this
case my wife having things that I have to deal with hopefully in this year you
will basically get to see there's five things that I came to as I went through
this process that I believe if you took on and put into effect into your life
into your relationships whether it's with your intimate lover or partners at
work or even your kids you will have massive massive improvement in your
relationships so without further ado I'm gonna let this audio here play of
everything that I gathered and the process that I went through after
probably one of the biggest fights I've ever had with my wife if after hearing
this it resonates with you please please please reach out to me ilan at Satoriprime.com
or you can find me at facebook at Elan Ferdinand personal message me I
would love to hear what you took away from this I hope you have an amazing day
enjoy all right so let me jump here because I experienced something
last week that still you know I've been processing that was just been kind of
figuring out how to how to share this and this might be a little bit longer of
a Facebook live but I thought it was really really important by the way let
me know if you guys can hear me okay I thought this was really important to
share because I think what I experienced is something that most couples would
actually probably lead to divorce or or I don't know maybe even worse I'll kind
of walk you through the story and then I'll actually walk you through what I
learned from it and and really how I'm really really hoping that you hear this
and implement this in your life immediately so if you don't have to deal
with with what I just went through so yong-ki pool happened and for those that
don't know is a Jewish holiday one of the High Holy Days last week and it's
you know I'm not religious I don't personally do well with organized
religion which I'll talk about a little bit later as to why hey Niki major but
really you know this is something that's really important to my wife Fanny and I
love my wife and I adore my wife and she wants to give our kids an experience of
religion and while I don't have that view
you know I for me it's more about the traditions and the family and
get-togethers I I can see where she's coming from I appreciate it and so while
this has been a struggle an ongoing struggle in our relationship there's
very few things that we disagree with at that kind of level this is definitely
one of them and I'm clear before I get into any of the other stuff I'm clear
that this is something that I get to work on obviously I marry my wife which
the irony of the whole thing is that her entire side of the family are Orthodox
Jews her brother's a rabbi so like who does Ilan pick to get married
you know lessons are everywhere right so we actually are starting to plan to go
to synagogue and I really and I and I want to say this I really went in with
the absolute best of intentions like I know well I don't enjoy it there and I
still I was like look it's an hour hour and a half I'm gonna be there with the
family I could just do what I do right and just it'll be over really soon hey
what's up Tori hey Bev Annette so I'm getting ready and I'm gonna walk you
through all of these pieces so you really start to get and I'll kind of tie
the thread of what I've been unraveling for myself throughout this entire
process so I'm getting ready to go to synagogue and it's hot outside and we're
gonna walk for a bit so I was like I don't want to wear a suit and so I don't
wear a suit I just wear pants and a button-down and the tie and my wife is
like why don't you wear a suit everyone's gonna be wearing a suit and
I'm like well I don't want to wear a suit so you know it already kind of
starts like a little bit of attention and she knows she knows that I have
resistance towards going so I think in her world there was also this story of
like Oh Ilan's doing his elan thing again and I really I I was going in with
the best of intentions right before we leave and this this becomes important in
a little bit right before we leave we had about like three minutes four
minutes before we leave and the kids are like can we get some screen time and we
said no we're leaving in 3-4 minutes and when I walk downstairs after getting
ready my son is in the kitchen watching TV and I'm like Shia we told you no
screen time please turn off the TV and he's like how about what's the big deal
there's three minutes you know I'm like Shia we had this conversation and I told
you and it's no big deal no big deal so at this point I'm like give me the
controller and he's trying to hold it for me but a lot of side to reach in
there I grabbed it from him and I turn it off and he kind of storms off
obviously like a little bit angry which is is okay and we were about to leave
and no one can find child Shai is nowhere to be found so eventually my
wife finds him like I'm already in the car getting ready to go my wife finds
him in the dining room with his head literally in the corner of the wall
crying I realize it was like that in you know
impactful what what he had experience but that's what he was doing so she
comes down she's fuming like I did something I ruin this now I mean
whatever and so I say in all seriousness kind of maybe to try to get out of the
synagogue but not really to get head of synagogue she's like you need to fix
this I was like well do you want me to stay home and just have a conversation
with him and she flips because again this is like Elon not wanting to go hora
wanting to be with the whole family etc so eventually as I go to walk upstairs
to figure out what he wants to do he ends up coming down the stairs so we go
but he's not talking to me he's super angry he's not talking to my wife he's
not talking to me we all get in the car we start driving and he's walking now
we're like getting out of the car we parked and we're walking to shul which
is a little bit of a way and he's walking super slow which I have to tell
you in all honesty part of me was like brother walk as slow as you want cuz the
last place I'm fond of you right now is inside that synagogue I was like you
take your time little man and I can see my wife like fuming as this is happening
but I'm just walking to you through everything that that that was occurring
for me so eventually we get inside I was like do you want to put a Tallis on
which is this no no it's like a piece of fabric that some men wear and shul and
I'm like no I don't want to wear it on so this was like checking up checkmark
number you know three four in her Ilana doesn't want to be here Ilana fuck
you too all of this etc so we go to sit in and Shai doesn't want to come in
so he's against the wall again head kind of against the wall outside the
synagogue I go in I'm like whatever he's got to do his thing he's got to relax
I'm gonna be in here and I sit in there and services are about to start and
rabbis saying a few things and having people introduce themselves to each
other hey drew Dina hey Miguel hey Cynthia and I'm sitting there and I've
been doing a lot I don't you know for some of you guys follow me more than
others I've been doing a lot of work energist acquis so like understanding
what is happening in my sister I'm really getting in tune hey what's up
mark really getting in tune with with what I can feel in the body as
sensations so that and this going to come into play a little bit later so
that as I'm feeling it before that's the first way that the your system
communicates is through the body through different mechanisms through different
tightenings or shrinking or pain or pokes or prods that's the first clue
that something's happening that then in essence turns into some sort of feeling
or emotion and you you label that and then that creates the thought and then
that thought actually creates the action so if you can capture things while this
is happening and this is something we work with our clients quite a lot and
I'm working with myself quite a lot you can get to things much quicker and I'm
gonna point to that here a little bit later because I actually did a lot of
work around this so I'm sitting there and this whole thing starts and I can
start to feel and and tune in and let me know if this has been your experience
ever where you I could start to feel this thing in the pit of my stomach and
it just starts rising and rising and rising it's almost like a volcano is in
my system and I could feel it just building and building and building and
I'm like it gets to the province's by this by the way this is all happening in
five minutes of me being in synagogue okay so it started with like hey turn to
this person say hi turn to that person tell them this tell them that tell
someone what you know something that that you worked on you're proud of this
year like simple stop right and I'm just feeling all this stuff build and build a
build and then it's like you know we're reading from this page and I'm like fuck
that I'm not picking up that that book I'm not reading from that so I put it
down and then it's like okay stand up and turn this way and Bend and and then
sit down and then you know this sides gonna sing this and this side's gonna
sing that and I am just starting to feel everything just rise and rise and rise
and rise to the point that at some point my daughter's sitting on me and we're
all supposed to stand like all the adults everyone
Sam my wife looks at me she's like are you gonna stand and I'm like I can't
alia sitting on me which in hindsight you know you realize like but at the
time I was like and all this stuff is just building and building and building
to the point where the only way I can describe this to you it was like rage
absolute rage and I don't know how many of you guys seen that Dave Chappelle
show but it's like Elance got a choke a bitch like that's where it was like so
oh you know and I was like I have to get out of this room because I'm gonna choke
somebody now meanwhile nothing serious is happening and I and this is really
important to just for you to hopefully understand it's like they're just
sensations in the body but the reality like the stuff that's happening in the
room is not that crazy but in my system the system's going fuckin haywire so I
was like I got to get out of this room I got to get out of this room so I get out
of the room and just as I get out of the room my son is actually this was at his
pre-k so the two teachers that they used to teach him were there in the hallway
trying to figure out what's wrong with Shia so I walk over I start having a
conversation with them should I still not talking to me and in that moment as
I'm talking to the teachers he kind of like jumps on my back but like in a
loving you know cute way and I turn around and I'm like looking at him he's
like and he's just this cute you know like he was like - meanwhile he's seven
he looks and then goes up up you know like what they do and they're like
really really tiny and so I pick him up and he gives me this huge hug and I'm
like are you okay he's like yeah I'm like what happened he's like I'm not
sure I don't know why I reacted that way and I was like do you want to go outside
and talk he's like yeah so we go outside and talk and meanwhile it's like a
gorgeous day so we have this amazing conversation which I my gonna get into
all the details we like really flush out what was happening et cetera and I'm
sitting outside with my saw and having this super loving amazing moment it's
sunny it's beautiful and I'm checking in with my system and my system is so
relaxed and so at ease and it's just like wow you know like
that's the release that's the feeling I was looking for and then when I'm like
thinking I'm like do I want to go back into that that room everything inside of
me is like fuck no I do not want to experience what I just experienced all
that rage and all that boiling and all that stuff happened I don't want to do
that again so I was like I'd rather stay out here so we end up staying outside
for about an hour and my wife and daughter eventually come out and as she
comes out and sees me because she didn't know where we were
but as she comes out to see me have you ever had someone look at you where it
looks like fire laser beams are coming out of their eyes like they are going to
murder you but they haven't said a word it was like that and I was like oh I
done fucked up like this is not this is not going to be good like whatever just
happened this is not going to be good so we start kind of like talking on the way
and I can feel she is really angry and she's so angry and we kind of know like
we have this practice where we're so angry we actually choose not to
communicate with each other in that moment because we both realized that
what is going to come out of our mouth is not going to be good for us or the
relationship and so it's just we don't do that okay so we kind of start getting
into it but we realize like this is not going anywhere
and so we we come home she goes outside to sit in the Sun I go and meditate we
don't really talk about it for a while and then she kind of like starts to
share with me how upset she was and she wants this for our kids and how I chose
to go out and how I was doing all these things throughout the day to basically
not go to synagogue and it's always just like big fuck you and blah blah blah and
we didn't really take it much farther we had dinner with the family etc the
morning after I'm driving her to the bus and she starts off the conversation at
first very calmly hey so I just want to kind of like finish up what we were
doing before we get into it and as she's saying this
more and more anger and frustration and all that stuff builds up and for me
there's this you know like when someone's telling you all the ways that
you wrung them or fucked up it's very difficult to be like yes thank you thank
you for like there's a part of you that gets really really defensive and really
really like wanting to justify and-and-and make your point and all that
stuff right and so I'm literally in the car and she's sitting next to me and it
feels for 10 minutes she's just railing into me all the ways
that I messed yesterday up and how I you know fuck things up for for her and the
kids and how and it just starts spiraling into this whole thing about
how I'm not only insensitive it's deep it's different it's like I only look out
for myself and I'm so self-centered and and I I don't ever do things for others
and and she starts naming all these things and I'm like well and I what I
try to explain to her is here try human I love that Laurens what I try to
explain to her is that like my experience in in synagogue was torture
like like literally in my system felt like torture and I and she's like well I
do tons of things that that I don't want to do for you and she starts naming the
stuff and I'm like and then the defensive part of me comes in and it's
like well you know don't do those things for me like I'm offering you to do these
things like these are not things you have to do and whatever and I realize
like everything out of my mouth is he righteous and self-defensive and it's
not going anywhere and so she literally gets out of the car to run to her boss
midstream like mid yelling at me and and I'm sitting there after having what
Lords called the hair dryer tree man you know like and I'm so disheveled
I can't even it was just like so many things were happening in my system at
that time that I wanted to be right about that I wanted
- hold on - and all this stuff and I'm going home and I'm driving home and I'm
just between like it felt like someone's just like punching you over and over and
over in the face I was so dazed and so confused and I come home and I'm angry
and I'm angry and I'm frustrated and I want to make my point and I write out
all of it and here's the key guys this is like this is so what I'm about to
tell you this process that I went through it's so important that please
just pay attention because I'm gonna walk you through about three things that
I remember through the day that if you remember in your relationships any
relationship not intimate any relationship your life will never be the
same so the first thing I remembered the first thing I remembered is this that I
could either be right or I could be in love I could either be right about
exactly all my point of views and how I was and be defensive and have all that
mind chatter prove that I was a good guy and I was this and I was that and I
would no longer have and this is part two because I quickly remembered hey I
have a commitment in my relationship and that commitment is to experience love
connection and intimacy and when I remembered hey what am I committed to
love connection and intimacy right so that's really important always go back
to like hey what I couldn't do in this relationship and then right after that
that thought of okay well I can either have that or I can be right I can't have
both I cannot have you two things cannot
occupy the same space at the same time
I cannot have both so what am i choosing right and this like an actual choice all
this shit is still happening in my system I'm still I want to be defensive
I want to be right I want all of it and in the moment I'm like okay well do I
choose intimacy connection and love with my wife who by the way we're celebrating
10 years or am i choosing to be right about this now once you do that
something really interesting happens because you're focused where your mind
wants to take you is let me be right about this let me prove my point
let me show them why on this and they're not but as soon as you make that that
shift and you go okay what am I committed to then the focus changes and
now if my true commitment is hey love intimacy and connection then now I get
to focus on some different shit how do I get love commitment and intimacy back in
my life because my wife is fuming right now and she's on a bus and she is angry
and she's frustrated and she's mad and that brings me to point number three and
point number three is this this is so important to remember this will
alleviate so much headache and stress and frustration for you in your life if
you really just bring this into your heart everyone's point of view is 100%
accurate and valid I'm gonna say that again everyone's point of view an
experience of life is 100% accurate and valid for them you don't need to agree
with it you don't have to understand it logically because truth be told I
couldn't understand my wife's point of view logically I couldn't understand why
she would react the way she'd react because I know that if I was in that
sense just you if I was in that situation I wouldn't have reacted that
way and once I can bring myself to that place of understanding Wow
her experience is 100% valid I don't need to understand it I don't need to be
to get the logic of it I can just validate that that was her experience
now that allows you to tap into something else and what I chose to tap
into is compassion
yeah Amanda you said a right perspective is subjective right so now if I get that
her experience is a 100% valid the next thing I get to experience is what is
that perspective and I actually sat there and put myself in her shoes as all
this stuff was happening and I could feel the anger and being let down and I
could feel the frustration and I can feel all of it all the pain and hurt and
I could get that I was responsible for her having that response when you have
compassion and you could put yourself in another person's shoes not to get on the
tangent here right and I'm this is not to get political but look what's
happening in our world right now in the u.s. at least with with Brett Kavanaugh
and dr. Ford right everyone's kind of like grounded and this is my point of
view this her point of view and you know what for me I always like to put myself
in both of their point of views you know what both of their lives right now
fucking suck because there's so much hate they've been putting through the
wringer do you like everyone's like well you know he shouldn't have reacted that
way or she shouldn't react though you don't know because you're not in a
fucking position and in that position in that timeframe like that's that's their
valid experience right and so we could have compassion for that and so when I
start to see all this right and I start to get my wife's experience sorry
someone called me now what I can start to get is her world and that gives me
access to something now I can be responsible 100 percent responsible for
how her world is occurring in moment and let me tell you if your
commitment is to love intimacy and connection and you feel what I felt that
I put my wife through that is the fucking opposite of love intimacy and
connection and regardless of what I was feeling in my system at the time of
being tortured of all that other stuff where was the focus during all of that
me me me me me me what I was feeling how I was feeling
all of it huh Jay Jay heights here and he was actually he walked outside as I
was sitting outside with my son during synagogue so I started to see
this now here's here's the the part that gets a little bit uncomfortable cuz now
it's not about just recognizing that stuff now comes the action piece so most
people are very satisfied with the aha moment like now comes the actual
conversation piece the part where you go to the other person involved and you
call yourself out on all of it and you start to come from a place of 100%
responsibility not that they did anything not nothing you looked for
where did I where was I responsible for how this whole event happened and so I
went to my wife and I explained all the stuff her I literally walked her through
the same things that I'm walking through right now and we had a brilliant
conversation that lasted more than a few days and it's still lasting this is not
something that like you know I was a one-and-done conversation what's really
fascinating is when you show up to a conversation and you take 100%
responsibility you will quickly notice that the other person in charge will
also start to look for where there responsible and yes there are gonna be
parts in the conversation where they like yes you were an asshole and yes you
did this and it's not your job to feel bad in the moment because you're
obviously calling yourself out on it so when they say that to you notice she'd
be like yeah I was yes I was now after I had that conversation with her which led
to a few things that we're just getting to look at look a relation with 10 years
right so we've been together for about 11 and a half years so over that time
period people change
I'm not even talking about just the circumstances of your life change right
like we met we were 26 I'm 37 today we got two kids
I've lost built a business lost a business built another business closed
that business started another business like a lot stuff happened right we
traveled the world she's grown etc and so it's irrational
to think that you don't get your relationship and what works and what
doesn't work in fact what I found which was absolutely gorgeous in this entire
process is and this is starting to unravel like what I started seeing
myself which i think is important for you guys to hear I'll take it a step
further here in a second but you know what I feel is happening is like my
wife's flame like the light inside of her is really wanting to start to come
out more and more and like I've always been this way my energy when I'm a fuck
yes all in I'm like the most infectious person that you can be around I get
everyone psyched right now the same side of that on the opposite oh my god so
when I'm a fuck no like I don't want to do this I'm the biggest energy suck like
the people around me are so affected and everyone knows Elon does not want to
fucking do this I have like big it's not probably I was sitting in
synagogue was this big like fuck you don't talk to me sign written on my head
so the same way that that energy is like super infectious because my energy is
always out right some people they get into certain situations and they're like
overwhelmed or or in fear they like suck themselves in and disappear I'm the
exact opposite I'm like a flame in one direction or I'm a flame in the other
but that flame either lights up you on the inside or it fucking burn lose you
and I get to be responsible for that and so I've been this way for a long long
time and I've actually started to have conversations with with friends and
things like that about it of late but you know for my wife while I've always
been that way I think what's really interesting is today her light is really
starting to come through and her energy is starting to come through and when I
be that way like really really big it actually squashes her her light it
squashes her fire and for maybe the first time in a long time that doesn't
feel good for her anymore she doesn't want to experience that so that's just
something that we're looking at like well how do we kind of co-create and and
and when in those moments she feels like that I'm doing that thing to actually
say it in the moment to me versus having it build and build and build and build a
little build which creates that that huge fire and this is something that my
friend Ben actually when I shared this with him the first time had me see you
know a lot of the times when we have these blowouts we tend to look at the
blowout itself like the the incident itself and we tend to like start to try
to unravel and unpack this this one incident and he reminded me of something
really beautiful because there was two things I was really upset about the
first thing when this happened I was like why me
why us why is this happening to me and he reminded me that whether it was now
or on Thanksgiving or New Year's or next year sometime this is something that we
have to go through so going into the why me why us why now all that is irrelevant
because this is an experience that our relationship needed to have in order to
build something stronger so I was like oh wow that feels really
really good right and then the other thing which I
can't remember right now what I won't say I'll come back to so here's here's
what I really want to share with you guys about the work that I then went and
did personally I spoke to you about the body sensation right and by the way just
let me know is this is this resonating like are you guys seeing your
relationships in this can yeah just let me know if as I'm sharing this because
this is really really important stuff and I really hope that you guys are
getting value from this look this was no I'm not I'm not even kidding you this
was like the most uncomfortable I've probably ever been in my relationship
ever because I'm driving home and I'm like holy shit like this is how people
get divorced it's this like like these conversations right like where all this
shit built up oh yeah so this is the other thing that I knew it come back to
me the other thing that was really important is that it's not don't delve
and try to fix or figure out the incident realize that the incident was a
highlighter for a much much deeper thing and so for my wife there's like a much
deeper conversation there's a much deeper piece about that energy of
feeling like I'm either you know lifting her up or like burying everything around
and like when I'm a fuck know like that that impacts her and so we got to have
that conversation and that really was the conversation no it wasn't what
happened in the synagogue was like you know quote unquote the needle that broke
of the right the needle that broke the camel's back I think yeah something like
that it's but it's way way deeper than that right and that's really important
when you're having these conversations it's like don't delve on the moment
itself always look for like what is the underlying thing that's a tad that's
impacting the relationship and that was really really beautiful for us so then
after we did that stuff I went and started to do my own work
because what I'm really curious about right you guys had all mentioned that
you've had that experience at some point where where something you know come like
starts building up inside of you like a volcano and just all of a sudden there's
an eruption I got curious I'm like well what is that
what was that rage that I felt in synagogue because for me that was the
highlighter right like there's a whole piece about my relationship with Fannie
and then there's a whole piece about like what happened internally to me that
I just totally missed and what I started to unravel through through a lot of the
work that that that guy and I do is
there's this part of me that is massively attached to autonomy and I've
known this it was just a deep deeper experiential knowing of this which is
when I'm being told what to do when I feel like I don't have a say or control
that feeling starts building up inside of me and yeah so Tammy that's that's
actually I think you guys are under light but that's like actually exactly
what it is so when I started to unravel that look there's tons of experiences
that I've had that width right but that energy that I was talking about where
I'm like a fuck yes or a fuck no that fuck no part comes from where I feel
like I've lost autonomy where I feel like I don't have a say anymore and
what's really interesting is that in the moment just like I was sharing with with
you guys about Fanny like if in the moment she's feeling something by my
energy and she just says like hey Ilan you're doing that thing you're like
sucking all the life out of the room you're Beauvoir that's a good reminder
for me right like that's a great red flag and then I can actually in the
moments where I feel all this stuff happen I can be in communication and you
ever notice that like when you say something you know the example I love to
use is like you're you go on stage and you're super super nervous there
tell you like tell tell the people on Sage I'm really really nervous
and you tell people and in and so in those moments now I get this new
practice of when I feel like I don't have a say or when I feel like I don't
have like it's it's out of my control and someone's dictating and I have to do
this I can actually be honest with whatever is happening around me so it's
like Fanny and I could be like look at in the moment I feel like I don't have a
say in this etc right and in as I'm saying that you
will actually feel a release in the body no now they're practice Tammy is
autonomy ego driven that's a really good question um let me explain it this way I
think there are parts so so ego is a word that gets thrown around a lot and I
think it's kind of like difficult for people to understand so I'm gonna say it
this way there are parts of us very very young parts that are like protectors
right so that there's a part of me that wants me to feel independent that wants
me to feel like I get a say etc and so when I don't have that experience
protectors come online and protectors are like you can't make me don't fucking
touch me you can all that stuff those are protectors and they all work
beautifully like there's not there's gifts in this stuff too right so like
think of being independent and there's a key can list you like multitudes of
things why how independence has made me super
successful so we don't want to look at these things as like that's a bad part
of us this is a good part it's more just it's a part and we get to dive into the
gift of the part and then the shadow of the box as well right so for me and for
you this is really what I'm inviting you to is like to honor those moments to see
and notice as quickly as you can that whole experience that wants to rise up
and instead of having the explosion see if you can actually feel in the
moment what that is and what your system is actually asking for and if you need
any help with this like this is the kind of work that we do so you don't have
blow ups and relationships and by the way look I do this work all the time I
still had a blow over the wife and within 24 hours we went from yelling I
mean like yelling like you see in the movies yelling to having intimacy
connection and love which is what I'm committed to back in our lives and in
our relationship and I can tell you like with 100% certainty that that is exactly
the kind of stuff that people get divorced over because they'd rather be
right then have what they're truly committed to so to put a bow on this
remember here the three major things right that that help me you can write
these down do whatever you want the first is you can either be right or you
can be in love you can't have both the second remind yourself of what you are
committed to in this relationship whether it's with your children whether
it's with your spouse whether it's with your business partner what are you truly
committed in that relationship and are the actions you're taking right now
consistent with that commitment and you will surely find that you are choosing
to be right instead of honoring that commitment the third thing everyone's
point of view is 100% valid 100% valid you don't need to understand it you
don't need to believe it you don't need to anything you just get to honor that
their point of view is 100% valid and bring compassion to that viewpoint see
if you can actually put yourself in that place to feel what they're feeling not
through your brain through your heart actually feel what they are feeling and
then once you unpack all of that stuff and you start to realize where you're
100% responsible for everything that happened you get to go and have that
Congress and you call one out on yourself and I
know that it's uncomfortable I know this is the part that your ego is gonna go
hey why no but they did this and then it put all that aside and bring yourself
back to that commitment if you guys have any questions about anything I covered
right now I'm happy to stay on here and answer anything anything that came up
for you that you want to share I know we're in a little bit of a delay here so
I'm happy to chill here for for a few minutes if you guys are called to share
anything but yeah this is like so so so important and can save you so much
heartache and frustration because eventually you're gonna come to this and
sometimes you guys are already separated at at that point and then you're just
left with guilt guilt and shame and then you have to do all this other work that
we do with people about forgiving their parents or their spouses or just so much
easier in the moment honestly like I'm so grateful that I have these tools I'm
so grateful that I have this ability to to see this stuff in the moment and and
moreso share it you know like all these people they're many many of you guys are
working with us in one way or another and you know just the ability to share
this and have you guys take this in your world and impact your spouse's and and
loved ones and partners and children is just absolutely amazing so yeah if
unless anyone has any other questions
Kevin I love that your daughter gets to reap the benefits of the maturity took
to put the relationship first family strong yeah and and that's such a good
point because as your kids mimic how you operate with your spouse more than
anything else it's not will you tell them how to be it's what they see you
being and so having that ability to process this in a very very quick and
timely manner so that you can get back into that thing which you are committed
to in the first place is absolutely massive
all right so if there are no questions I just want to thank you all who were here
participating commenting this was something that I was for the last week
really just wanting to share and and trying to figure out how to do it so I'd
love to hear from you guys in the comment box if this impacted you please
let me know and what you took away from this and how you're gonna have this live
on through action in your life and if there's anyone in your life that you
feel called that has some sort of experience right now in a relationship
that you think this would make a whisper this would give them some freedom or
inside please please please share this this is a I know this is a quite a
personal Roth message but I would love to get this out there so love you guys
thank you so much we'll see you soon
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