Youtube daily life style Nov 27 2018

Hi. I am here to say about Circumcision

Hi. I am here to say about Circumcision

Hi. I am here to say about Circumcision

Usually circumcision is done as part of

religious practice among Muslims and Jews

But in this video I am focusing on circumcision

done in adult stage, its pros and cons

During adult stage ,if you have phimosis

or urinary tract infections

you need circumcision

I am talking only about

the surgery in this condition

as the surgery is done in a sex organ

how it is affecting sex is debatable

circumcision is removal of skin from penis tip

by detaching it from glans bellow

this surgery cost $100 to $1000

This is a one day surgery

painless and no hospital stay needed

no pain in passing urine after it

only thing is a small bandage at penis tip

when it is removed a small pain will be there

after the surgery no sex is allowed for

1 to 2 months as it can cause

infections

This surgery can help in preventing

HIV and other infections

this condition of storing urine in penis

tissue isstopped by the surgery

by that infection is prevented

it can also prevent penis cancer

about 30% of men in the world are

circumcised

Now we can discuss how it affect sex

there are many debates about it

some say it decrease sexual sensitivity

some say it increase

from my experience

there is no change in sexual excitation

after surgery

it increased erection time

main problem is that the glans

is highly sticky after surgery

it can even stick to our cloths

this can decrease lubrication

so pain can occur during sex

otherwise no problem in sex

after the surgery

in conclusion

there is no such problem seen after

circumcision

only some discomfort for 1-2 months

its perfectly useful

due to its health benefits

i am doing this video

because many people are

still afraid of doing this

due to many misleading internet stuffs

this is from my

personal experience

you don't have any problem after the

surgery

so why bearing pain

due to phimosis

or infections

do the surgery

immediately

have a better health

and sex life

after the surgery

thank you for viewing

please subscribe the channel

For more infomation >> Circumcision and Sex | How Circumcision is affecting Sexual life | From Personal Experience | - Duration: 6:43.

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How to Style Leopard Print! 🐆 WHAT TO WEAR w/ Leopard print! ㅣJennie Lee - Duration: 5:58.

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Crohn's Colitis Lifestyle- Dane discusses skin health with The Spa Doctor - Duration: 16:59.

Dane it's so great to have you on my podcast welcome

Thank you for having me

thank you for having me

Yea so I want you to start off by telling your story

because you've had quite the healing journey.

Yeah you know it's it's a

funny story of the worst thing ever happening to me I'm considering the best

thing that ever happened to me now and it's a story of self-belief really and

an irony you know for me I had major gut health issues I was diagnosed with

originally something called ulcerative colitis then I was diagnosed with

something called Crohn's disease and then the doctors didn't know what it was

from their Crohn's, Colitis also with gastritis and everyone had an

opinion so I just started calling it Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis

Now I was living in Los Angeles in New York and Miami and I was I was working

in Europe and that was they just had this major irony where I just felt like

my life was being taken from me I and it was a very hard

We went through all the

conventional medicine and the doctors just eventually just said you're gonna

be on these drugs for quote-unquote the foreseeable future and the next step is

surgery where we're going to cut out your colon and we're going to give you a

J pouch which is to build you a new colon after a year of having a bag

attached to your stomach where your bowel movements will go through that bag

you will no longer you know sit on a pod you'll just go through that bag and

then maybe one day if you're lucky I'll having a reverse surgery to create you a

new colon so you can actually use a restroom like a normal person. I was 24

when they proposed this so you know. No one in my family had been sick you know

we were all healthy people and that to me was unacceptable and I thank God

that I'm such a stubborn person and I never I never took authority too

seriously. It got me in a lot of trouble but school, doctors, people trying to tell

me what life is and what reality is I always kind of just rolled my eyes a

little bit you know and a little bit of an ego about it but I think that allowed

me the courage to start saying doctor let

me see what I can do and who was I you know and this is a big point I want to

make to anyone out there who's struggling with health and hearing

something that they believe deep down might be false. Is how is it that a 24

year old kid with a Personal Training degree could get results healing himself

naturally that conventional medicine said wasn't possible? And that was

something that I dared to try I dared to say and think and believe that my doctor

didn't truly know what I was capable of doing .

Through that pain I started to

believe in myself and I started reading insatiably about natural medicine I went

back to school for natural medicine getting a holistic nutrition degree and

I started allowing myself to be my own best doctor

Emotionally I was suffering

I was isolating myself I was starting to feel like a sick person

one thing I work on with my clients is once we get their symptoms down I try

to build a regimen that helps them purge trauma of being a disabled person being

someone who cannot eat cannot go out cannot uh you have ever have any energy

chronic fatigue and that does something to your psyche as a human being that you

are no longer strong you were weak and you were disabled and you can't do like

everyone else you can then it eventually feels like you don't deserve to live

like everyone else you don't maybe you don't deserve love maybe you don't

deserve this the career success and for me I had such a strong spirit when I

started this because no one found me in a mall to make me a model no one you

know put me in the gym two hours a day six days a week. You know I actually the

first time I tried most things in life I was told no. You know first time I tried

out for a basketball team they said no you're not good enough first time I tried

modeling they said nope you're not good enough first time I started exercising

as a personal trainer nope you you're not strong enough it was always I had a

lot of barriers that were not given to me. I was not one those cases people

where I just walked down the street and someone said you're amazing we're gonna

make you a star like that was not it for me. I have hustled I have earned

everything I had in my life nothing has been given to me you know and it is been

it's made me extremely strong and I'm so grateful for that because when Crohn's

came my way which has been my biggest battle yet I had the will, I had enough

of that to believe that I was meant to be a strong person I was a strong person

you know and I so I was old enough right just had become enough of man where I

could really just drive home what I knew to be true so emotionally it was killing

and was disabling me but I used things like exercise and trying to say okay

this is where my this is what weights I could lift before I got sick I'm not

healthy until I can lift the same. So it was like three years later that I got my

benchpress up to 315 pounds after nearly dying so I gained 60 pounds and I got

strong again and it wasn't it was ego but it was also I knew I needed to see

that my body could get as strong as it used to be. And so I did things like

that I started running I started running four or five miles straight I started

traveling I've been all over to Europe and Asia and stuff like that I would

i've eaten every terrible food you can imagine since I've been healed I've had

large Papa John's pizzas to myself I've had 12 packs of beer to myself like a

massive amounts of candy anything. Not because it's good for me but I

believe that there's a certain time and place to start purging the idea that you

can't do something and replace it with you don't want to do something

So tell everybody more about what you what actually did work for you what did you

do and what are you now helping others do to help along the same path of

healing so when I started when I healed w hen I got the point the word heal and

cure those are just tough words everyone wants to put them in boxes I don't even

believe in the word cure, I think it's a false fear word has no value

but when I got to where I was and I said how did I go from completely disabled on

these drugs with with this you know sentence from every white coat in in

Southern California saying that I had to get a surgery or be on these drugs to

I'm on no drugs I'm feeling great and I'm got my career back and I'm looking

you know I feel good I look good I'm running and working out and I'm

traveling I wasn't perfect but how did I get here.

Because that to that was something real you know perfection is a perception

right and I I realized that it was a lot of things and it wasn't just one thing

it was everything combined see I didn't work for a year my I was getting paid

the currency of health my day-to-day was to figure out how to get myself healthy

and I realize there were different aspects of that, mental spiritual

physical and there were many things I did so what I realized is I said okay

diet matters and what I ate and there were layers to the diet but what that

matter but it wasn't everything it didn't heal. It wasn't it didn't get

me where I was supplements mattered but it wasn't everything herbs mattered it

wasn't everything. My mindset changed my perception of the investment of my life

my understanding of energy changed everything my imagination of who I

wanted to be and why I was doing this why well you know about my career my

life and my family in my future and my exercise changing from exercising for

fitness to exercising for health I got a I got a change there and then my

lifestyle I realized this big you know learning how to be organized and clean

and identify positive and negative energy. I realized that it was all these

things that really helped me wasn't just one so I realized that I was actually

doing all of those things and I was stacking on like compound interest on

every day and it was all of them combined into a daily consistent

protocol that was simplified in a regimen that actually freed up my time

that actually empowered me that I now believe not only just in my health but

my ability to build a business my build a to build a relationship my ability to

manifest in this life. I believe I found the key or the I had finally

experienced manifestation and it's really just an abundance of energy and

energy and the purpose of this conversation is anything that makes you

feel so it was so I was sitting there in my room and I was thinking what do I

wanna do like don't want to put people in boxes I don't want to say it has to

be a vegan diet has to be a paleo diet it has to be low fodmap has to be SED

has to be these supplements it has to be this energy I just I didn't I wanted to

empower people to make it for them and I didn't want to get

in that stupid argument of is it this is the best diet, that's the best and this doesn't

work on that doesn't work that's all it just brings us farther apart and we need

something that brings us together so I called it shield. And for me I was I

asked myself you know what was I doing I was I was building my defense I wasn't

curing myself I wasn't finding the perfect answer for everybody I was

finding my answer what worked for me what allowed me to manifest great energy

and it was my shield and life against Crohn's because I was imagined I was

boxing Crohn's you know and it was just knocking me out every day but I just

learned how to duck and that was lifestyle and I learned how to move my

feet and that was my imagination and my my you know and I learned how to throw a

right hook and that was my the supplements and diet so I called it

shield as building my shield and that was an acronym for supplements

herbs imagination exercise lifestyle and diet. So what I help people do is I help

them build their own personalized shield program and why I love it and I think

it's really the the seed of my what I'm going to share in this world is I'm not

trying to be the answer for people I'm allowing people to be their own answer

but I'm being a consultant a catalyst for them to simplify the energy and

momentum and the ideas out there and how they can apply it to their personal life.

So you know I talk about food philosophy I don't talk about diet I talk about

not just tell them you have to take this product I tell you this is the benefit

and this is the negative words obvious we think you should take it you have to rebuild

your microbiome for instance. You know in herbs and then imagination you know

what what drives you who do you want to be and the funny thing is once my

clients start getting results it's almost like a running river all I got to

do is sit back and smile and nod because they now have felt the power of self

empowerment they're getting they're looking better their skin looks better

their energies up they making more clear and concise decisions about

school or relationships or career. They're big they're becoming excited

about life they're getting the phone tell me everything that's good and I'm

going like uh huh. And it wasn't like I did it it was just I was a catalyst to get

to empower them and do a little bit of hand-holding until they were able to

walk and run and sprint and some of them are getting healthier than me yeah

like okay you got it down. And so it's really empowering people and it's

funny because I'm now in the process of publishing my online program with

coaches and the coaches and this is what I'm so excited about the coaches who are

going to be working with people as I've been working with people are all people

who came to me who are suffering who were stuck who run chronic drug use

they're now been you know without symptoms and hit all their goals for at

least six eight months some of them over a year and those are going to be the

people who are now helping other people do the same so the coaches you'll be

working with the people who have Crohn's disease have Ulcerative Colitis have been in a

dark space and have gotten great results. I mean to me that relatability is so

important the biggest thing I offer to people is really relatability I've been

there I know what they're going through and that's something the doctors can't

do and that's why I think doctors and coaches should combine their forces and

secondly is I'm helping people take the worst thing that ever h appened to

them and now create a second career where they can work for themselves they

can make as much money as they want they can do something of high impact they can

continue to learn and invest and get paid to make themself healthier.

Like their job is to make themself as healthy as possible and then blog about and

write about and coach about it and make a career out of this so it's really the

the my ideas hot you know usually in life you can take the worst thing that

ever happened you and you can make it one the best things because pain is a

teacher and pain is the root cause of purpose no one had great purpose without

great pain think of Nelson Mandela think of Martin Luther King think of I mean

anybody who's done something great usually stem from great pain so great

pain is the law of relativity can come great purpose.

So you mentioned your

nonprofit we tell everybody about that

So my nonprofit is is a little bit of a

golden egg for me it's been something we've been doing and manifesting for the

last four years but it is the first wave of funding natural medicine funding

uninsurable healthcare costs so anyone out there who's using supplementation

organic foods they're going to an acupuncturist or a lot of natural

medicine doctor they're realizing that it's not covered

by health insurance and it's a huge expense and the average American does

not have enough money to invest in this type of needed health care. So there's a

big big problem only the wealthy and the people with disposable income can

utilize this type of medicine and it's getting more and more expensive because

the best practitioners simply do not have the time to work one-on-one with

someone it's not cost-effective. Guys if your out there and your looking

a ptivate one on one doctor or coach know

that it is not the best business model for them and their time and their

ability to be able to make an impact on the world so it needs to be expensive

for the right doctor the person who really knows what they're doing.

So it you know we created a system where we are using a crowd funding source or

business model to help people raise money for uninsurable healthcare costs

and we can match dollar for dollar the money that is raised up to twenty five

hundred so if if you're out there and you need that financial

support you can apply for our program which shows you how to crowd fund we

match the dollar to dollar and then send it to you in a debit card so that you

can go to your practitioner and have the funds and more support that you need to

to make this happen.

That's great so how do people find that what's that website on that

So the name of the nonprofit is e fund your health it's the letter e

fund your health

So and tell everybody else how they and tell people how you

work do you work one-on-one with people do you work with groups like how does

that work now

Right now I work one-on-one with people so they can I

have an application process because I need to make sure that I really feel

that some certain things are connecting between me and the potential client so

they can apply for I call a strategy session where we talk for 30 minutes

about what you've gone through where you've been what your goals are your

experiences and then we both decide if we feel we're a good fit if we do then

we can move forward and usually it's around three to five months I have some

you know packaged program I have some clients have been working with

year and a half two years so it's right now private consulting I'm working on

getting our shield online program out which is more scala ble and that's gonna

have what's called Crohn's colitis University and it is a private network

of people with Crohn's or Colitis who can work together to help create their

shields with coaches and supporters and weekly and monthly calls with me and

doctors and people who can start talking to the masses and groups and really come

together as a team and say let's stop bickering about what diet you're doing

and what supplements you're using and if you're doing you know this type of

therapy or not therapy everyone out here your job is to build your shield you're

the CEO of your health let's cherry pick from each other and find our personal

solutions. So I'm excited that we'll be launching I hope guys I hope December

first if you're interested in this you're sayin g someone needs this the

best thing you can do right now is go to my website Crohn's Colitis Lifestyle.com

and just subscribe to the email list that's where I'll be keeping people updated

Okay, awesome. Dane thank you so much for coming on today and sharing

your journey and all the information, thank you so much

You're very welcome

Keep going strong everybody!

For more infomation >> Crohn's Colitis Lifestyle- Dane discusses skin health with The Spa Doctor - Duration: 16:59.

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Life-sized gingerbread house unveiled at Casino Del Sol - Duration: 0:28.

For more infomation >> Life-sized gingerbread house unveiled at Casino Del Sol - Duration: 0:28.

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ITS A PICASSO - A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A TRUCKING COUPLE - Duration: 14:15.

you

crazy side buddy okay show us you first work the part I have to to this one

nice and then this one I still have to write on this is unicorn poop it's not

complete we don't want to see if it aint college

we don't want to say you're incomplete unicorn poop well wake up early mornings

late nights - on a different flight what's the meaning of life I wake up

same ish different day make a wish call it pray am I sick mile k I stay up late

nights still in pain and I mind it decays as I try to make a change see the

Sun see it said feel some pain feel regret all the same ones next I'm the

blame for my head on life it changes in many different ways yeah you turn the

page and you see a new hot day yeah

good morning get peoples of the world

the girl got her rocks boy occasion again the girl got her rocks painted

daddy patiently I painted a rock it was fun you will see it rocks

anything it's so small you got a hole

moso that's right

mama built this one here see that it's gonna hard on it and it's

sparkly like hard

that one is unicorn Holmes have you ever seen unicorn poop in your life

well you're a unicorn a rare and delicate creature

let's worry about that anyway we will be planting those rocks at a truck stop

near you tell you the plan you tell if you tell them the plan don't leave it to

me we were definitely far I never really stayed shit I love that and paint them

and there's all sorts cute pictures

all right strawberries and on the back

we're gonna have we're gonna I have to go back there now that was the computer

what she's trying to say is taking her a long time to say because she's so damn

cute cuz I got a new hat it fits pretty good oh yeah back to the moral of the

story we got playing these rocks out there and

we're going to take a picture of them and we're gonna put them on Instagram

they'll have no cross post to our Facebook page

right

when you find your row right the clue will be the picture on Instagram if you

find our rock you can go back to our Facebook and you can subdue can protect

with a picture of your rock on the Facebook ago I found the prob and then

you can pass it on our key litter throw is somebody's you really have a bad day

just chased right it's a I love you have been a rock

whatever it is and tired of the plan the plan might

change I don't know

let's see how it works out I've always kept rocks I've never gave

them boy

I got a truck pushing that bump man I gotta hammer down let's go y'all see

just sunrise that was supposed to be a major snowstorm here last night it did

not make it so remember everybody to live your best life mouse owl

the sender hate or help someone who's in pain yeah we all love and we all wanna

be great that it's not enough so we keep running the race yeah this life is tough

if you let it be that way sit back and love your own journey I got a lot of

deep thoughts in my bed got me feeling like a weak spot

alright everybody need a new hat I should have bought two of them cuz you

know I'm gonna lose the damn thing it's time for that rotten ass 30 minute break

I can't wait till they do away with it but there is some stuff I like about it

where's the food and so on I'm going the wrong way can

you believe that app go on the wrong way don't tell her that I was going the

wrong way she'll be like laughing at me I'll see my load over there

ain't that a sexy big torpedo load she gets a Mixmaster clothes on today

and a Dalmatian pair of pants I don't know about her she see this bow there's

going to be too much for me what am I gonna do selfie all right girl I'm gonna

let her get away with it today though she's been so freaking sweet to me I

like it when girls asleep they should always be sweet sometimes they could

have the sharpest tongue in the world though you know cuz you all know girls

are typically faster than we are right not always smarter but faster

mentally I think that's some kind of a survival mechanism you know to keep them

away from the Lions or whatever you know like gazelles and stuff like that run

fast and put the girls out front you know

so that's what I'm thinking okay I told y'all she was awake she's a nasty letter

I was like these tank water oh my god and he taste it because you don't

believe me when I say its name I thought it was like well water

you smell Matt you have to take a big big deep breath yeah well that's

dishwater we ain't drinking would you like some

water I hate it there breathing for you guys

we're barbarians today about six hours into my strip have a break shovel she

might have fun fun now I have it in my teeth I'm fine but you didn't have

spinach did you take the lenses we're gonna time for a lot of things you

know what we can't be wound until we get out of the state to take private dollars

okay we can't drive sunset then I'm gonna make it but it's still gonna be a

tight schedule because we're looking at we got like 1600 miles left I think I

have a dent about 11:00

I'll have I'll have almost 700 miles I guess that's over 680 so I bring it into

what 12 13 sube will still be there for about

lunchtime Monday the latest it must be it's no the head or something

in which case we'll be chaining up well you don't have change we've got

that's right will be stockinette we'll see I don't

baby doesn't matter it mean okay I'll deliver till Tuesday we're going we're

gonna pick up the next load and we're gonna run back home because we have no

laundry and I'm not delivering on Thursday or Friday we're gonna take some

stuff out of the trip does it there's too much stuff in there and there is and

but we'll take stuff out and there's some other stuff in there I think we

leave the house with more stuff than we take home

Oh give it in the winter we've added coached your hearts we've got extra

gloves I've got the big faints hope big face

mask for chaining up it's cold out she's prettier okay I was frozen we ain't

gonna dad we've got a long johns we got the candles we've got the food oh

we haven't booked it and bring our things now if we have beans from

emergency rations in case we get stuck in a snowstorm you okay it ain't gonna

happen before January right get my dough 90 so I mean I think that's summer

what's all right your spot - and then we have like a decent jacket the way around

and then a jackets or carpet and training and stuff

but I hear oh well be frozen out there

although I'm seriously considering getting

Oh spoilers truck have never 8ta I got feel here once 10-15 years ago

where are we exit 58 in Missouri it had pretty roof

up there

- water well we're gonna let you go so we can

chow down here cuz I know if he was watching us via steak you'd probably be

like and here the cowboy here they really move and stick your arm ain't

done that there's nobody you don't do about the tower it's just you're all on

your own you're acting like you're based in it everybody tells me how poor we was

wish you had a cow

we had chickens when you kick them up their nests they pluck a shit and

sometimes they've turned by jarring that's when you have grandma do it we

get stinking spoke enemies remain chickens will chase you within your

freckles down and eat them off your legs not that I had freckles but I've seen it

happen and she used to there definitely take care of themself

told you fine girl she came after me before oh yeah I know all about the

threatening is for you you yeah you don't listen to her she wanted to kill

the rooster she was six years oh she was what a serial kill the rooster that's

right we're gonna have chicken and noodles at night grandma making good

news in a guy oh nevermind that's Spanish

in myself to take a breath it's therapeutic and I needed to get through

it I keep on moving yeah I keep on doing yeah I keep improving so people can feel

it too and go on and fix their lives one decision at a time one vision one mind

we're winning this grind okay okay let's make each other proud turn the future

render now turn this world upside down yeah I don't want to feel the pain no

more I just want to make a change restore humanity the Sandia's leaving

for the vanity I plan to be close with my family substantially avoiding a

calamity financially and stable it's a fantasy it's blasphemy I howl around ax

I'm crying out in agony I just want to help people

yeah cuz we all just sequel and we all just fearful those who the CEPA yeah but

if we all just work hard yeah and we let down our guard yeah we can open up our

hearts and figure out the key and I start deep

in my bed got me feeling like a weak spot in my head

that's myself - please stop take a breath need to get all of these deep

thoughts I'm not head yeah I just wanna be done I

just wanna be home I feel like I'm all alone and I need to do it on my own I

just wanna be gone I just want to be home I feel like I'm all alone and I

need to do it on my own yeah you

For more infomation >> ITS A PICASSO - A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A TRUCKING COUPLE - Duration: 14:15.

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What is home? Questioning my digital nomad life - Duration: 1:44.

It's finally nice out!

I've been in Boston like a month

and the weather has sucked the whole time

Anyway

When I meet people traveling they ask

<i>"Where is home for you?"</i>

And I never really have a good answer

I've been back in Boston for about a month

A lot of people would say Boston is my home

It's where most of my friends and family live

It's a city I know super well

Then again New York is the last city I've lived in

and it still where all my possessions are

So maybe that would be my home?

Legally, Arizona is my home

and it's where my parents live

Almost a month ago I finished up almost 2 months in Medellin, Colombia

That's the longest I've been anywhere in the past 2 years

so... maybe that would be my home?

To me, my home is anywhere I feel truly comfortable

Another thing people ask me is

<i>"when are you going to be done traveling?"</i>

And I also don't have a good answer for that

I'm not ready to stop traveling yet, I enjoy this lifestyle

I feel it's constantly pushing and challenging me to be a better person

to be the person that I want to be

But I do feel need to progress this lifestyle a little bit

So I'm trying to move away from like the "backpacker" lifestyle

Instead of staying in hostels and sleeping on couches

I'm trying to get apartments and Airbnbs

like this great apartment here in Boston

I've been putting more time and effort into my career

and the projects that are interesting to me

But I don't feel like that's got to take away from me

going to new places and meeting new people

I guess my goal is to live like a comfortable, stimulating life

and to have the whole world feel like it's my home

Now I'm gonna go outside

For more infomation >> What is home? Questioning my digital nomad life - Duration: 1:44.

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Life Perspective - Plus Size Fashions | PLUS SIZE CLOTHES FOR OFFICIAL MEETINGS - Duration: 13:06.

PLUS SIZE CLOTHES FOR OFFICIAL MEETINGS

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For #PlusSizeLadies it has traditionally been a tough ask to get the right kind of clothes

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If you are one such plus size lady who takes her professional life seriously, it is very

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Use them only when you go for a meeting or seminars.

These will be of tremendous help in your professional life.

For more infomation >> Life Perspective - Plus Size Fashions | PLUS SIZE CLOTHES FOR OFFICIAL MEETINGS - Duration: 13:06.

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How to Deal With the Toxic People in Your Life (Knowing Who They Are) - Duration: 20:52.

hi everybody I'm evening ransom welcome to evening TV and the NOAh radio show

and today I want to talk to you about toxic people and what they're doing to

your life and how to get them out of your life. I get contacted all the time

about people are having troubles with their relationships and it could be any

relationship it could be you know from neighbors a boss to kids to parents to

love it love interest you know husband girlfriend boyfriend

whatever it can be give me any of the above and what is what what strikes me

again and again is that people can go you know people that I have identified

that they have had toxic relationships in the past have identified narcissistic

abuse so that they were a victim of narcissistic abuse in the past or even

in the present and they can be talking on and on about a relationship that they

want to make work you know and wanting help and tips and tricks and how could I

make this thing work and they don't recognize that they are with a toxic

person and it is just simply not going to work those of us who have gone

through narcissistic abuse that went back and started in childhood that we

have a particularly difficult time with a very normal thing which it which

everybody does which is which everybody needs to do which is set boundaries on

you know this is what's okay and this is what's not okay and these and this is

the way you can treat me and blah blah we have been so accustomed to being

abused being treated poorly since we were kids that we don't even recognize

it that we don't even recognize it and so

what I've noticed it's we're very late we're very late and figuring out what

our non-negotiables are like what our basic standards are for this is

absolutely not okay and this is okay and I notice this when we had on YouTube

when we had this behavior showing up when people were

reacting so belly and and so many viewers were making excuses for this

behavior it was a difference between some of the viewers and we look I really

look spent the day looking at this a lot they have the people who have channels

have boundaries and have the non-negotiables or they're absolutely

abusive and basically what this is it's a progression and as you heal you come

to the point of getting you're getting your non-negotiables and getting to the

place where you you have these boundaries in place but until we do that

we have a really long long fuse where in fact we've almost even identified

ourselves with our endurance for abuse so to us being a good person for the

longest time the longest time to us being a good person means tolerating

everybody else's bad behavior this is what I recognized and and so what

happens is that the people there are people over in like our community doing

things that they would never get away with doing anywhere else there is no one

else that would ever ever tolerate it but but that they're getting if it gets

tolerated and repeated and and you know it's by you know on YouTube and and they

don't get rejected for it where is there were maybe to a completely get rejected

for it anywhere else so I think that's very interesting and also something to

really take note of because I do believe that that the people that are that

tolerate it will not tolerate it forever that they will the more healing they do

the less tolerant of it they will get less tolerant of it they will be it's

like this it's like I heard this analogy from another youtuber not in our nation

a different niche but she was saying that it's like your life is a party and

we get to invite people into our party and you can only come by invitation and

so if you if you befriend somebody that's like giving them an invitation to

your party if you date somebody that's like getting them an invitation to your

party and so basically you know if you're over there you know talking with

HD tutor you're getting him an invitation to your party and when you

have someone like that come to your party that is someone that has already

told you that he has a habit of he will definitely come in and wear his muddy

shoes and trumple over your house and break your dishes and smoke cigarettes

and you might even take a shit right in the middle of your living room carpet

you know that's the kind of guy that he is a toxic person he's a nurse's to give

user it's a relationship of inevitable harm inevitable harm no one will have a

relationship with that person without ending up in pain and damaged and abused

okay the same is true for what an experience like this is really good for

though is for helping you come with your non-negotiables and so if you didn't

already have them knowing clearly that you want people around you that are

loyal that are thoughtful that are kind that are truthful that are honest that

are that don't fly off the handle that don't have strong opinions that won't

just smear somebody that have integrity and you know these kinds of things it

was clear when when those things were violated it was and it was very attacked

me publicly with lies and slander and defamation that's a non-negotiable for

me that is a person who is telling me that they are not balanced so they're

not healthy and they are definitely have nothing good to offer me they're only

they only have abuse and they're toxic they're toxic people they are basically

wanting to come into my party and stop all over in we are where they're muddy

shoes throughout my house and you know take a shit right in the middle of my

floor I'm the point of having a check in with myself and knowing who I am as a

person and knowing that I am a good friend knowing that it is a it is a

privilege to get to be my friend it is a proof you know it's a privilege to come

to my party and if I wouldn't have good people at my party if I don't have

people at my party that are there you know that I admire that can elevate me

that can teach me things they're gonna take one peek in the door and see if

they know thank you I would rather sum plenty of other parties I can go to

without happy that you know bother myself with this right so you know the

if you hang around with Toxie people you're gonna you're filling up your life

with places there's somebody so much so many places in your life for people and

you filled them up with toxic people you're not gonna have any room for the

good people that can you know support you and be kind to you and say

encouraging things to you and you know introduce you to people that can help

you in your mission any a person who's valuable in your life right so as adults

we have a responsibility to on you know if we said this is our values we won't

have people in our life that match our values you know I don't want to have

people in my life that gossip about people that lie about people that attack

people for no reason that you know I don't want to do that and I wouldn't

expect that's immature it's not that's not healthy adult emotionally immature

behavior and I wouldn't expect to be able to act like that and have anyone

tolerated right and so I'm not going to tolerate there is a person who was an

abuser in my life but it was not anybody was someone that I would still allow to

contact me now and again like on Thanksgiving he just contacted me and I

would always reply you know it was you know it seemed it seemed harmless to me

for the longest time but suddenly it didn't seem harmless anymore and I think

my my son's death was the absolute pinnacle you know I just I just wasn't

going to take any more abuse at that point and and

this person definitely had abused me and definitely you know was which meant that

he was just one more contributor in the whole outcome of my son being gone and

here you know here's why I am and I taught him how to treat me and that's

what we're that's what we're doing we teach people how to treat us and if I if

I basically the message I was giving him was it was okay that you did all those

really crummy things I'm still gonna take your calls and I'm still do treat

you like you're an okay guy and I'm still gonna you know feed you feed your

false narrative and you know it's of little consequence to him he's a super

successful judge he's like you know he's got plenty of stuff going on he doesn't

need me but I still know you know I felt he abused me he cheated on me he did a

whole bunch of really crummy stuff and I was allowing him to get away with it

because I told myself it wasn't okay for me to be mad I told myself it was my

fault I told myself that you know all these different things and honestly and

truly I had enough betrayals and enough you know I'd lost so many other people

that I just didn't want you know I wanted to give him a pass so just so I

wouldn't have one more person that I could chalk up and you know betrayed me

and you know being crummy to me and I you know I I you know I didn't want to

do that I wanted it basically be able to tell myself that I had somebody who was

sort of a friend but he wasn't a friend you know he was abusive to me so when I

got his text message you know I hope you're thinking I did reply it was the

second time this year my birthday also did the same thing I didn't reply then

either and I had a little bit of a feeling good feeling about that and you

know it's a small thing it's a really small thing but it was it's a boundary

that I put in place and I basically am saying you know you don't have an

invitation to my party anymore you know you're not invited anymore and better to

have a private party alone or with my husband or my husband and my son and you

know my husband's family if it's just if it's just us for a while that's okay

with me it's you know some of you guys that's

great too you know but I'm gonna be discerning in who I let in and I first

met my first night Kim for instance she wasn't flattering me at that point she

was slandering other people she was family you know these other channels

that she was having troubles with and I just thought you know this is a person I

I think that seems problematic you know this is before anything happened with

Elle it was before any of that and I just I had already decided then I was

like I don't think she she hasn't asked me anything about myself shouldn't even

have any interest in me she was three hours late to this party

you know I just don't think that you know she's just not she's not she's not

who I want to invite to my party and I had already decided that and it was a

good thing and I'm getting some getting much more discerning and a part of it

has to do with trusting yourself as well so when we were these victims of abuse

we basically told ourselves that there was something admirable about tolerating

everybody you know not judging anyone and having you know I'm tolerating

everybody no matter what I was accepting in and that is I don't know where we got

the idea that that accepting all kinds of poor treatment was I meant we were a

good person that we were a moral person or you know because it doesn't it really

doesn't it means that we are really irresponsible we're not take we're not

taking care of our own lives and if we're don't take care of our own lives

we can't take care of our children or anyone we love you know so it's not it's

not admirable to let toxic people stomp all over your life to let people if you

have you even seen them subbing all over someone else's life if you see them out

of control if you see them abusing people for you to tolerate that is not

really an admirable thing to do it's enabling abuse and and and so what I

what I what I saw so basically that you know that it's I'm answering a question

in multiple dude ways so how you do it in your own life is you just basically

you know these are and how you do it is I mean he Hoover be after like three and

a half years and you know at this point he basically he is he's kind of he's the

lawyer that I got involved with during my divorce so super super vulnerable and

totally fell for him hook line and sinker and then he basically dumped me

did the whole devaluing discard of me right as my divorce was coming through

and it was brutal it was really brutal and and I handled myself so poorly

because in both my divorce and my discard and then also with this I I

didn't I didn't take care of myself at all I was very focused on these

relationships and on you know I gave a lot of attention to it might in my

divorce he gave a lot of attention to my abusers my husband my parents people

that were basically going to end up out of my life and I gave a lot of attention

to the life I was losing you know my business my you know my house all this

is all gonna be gone you know and I wasn't setting up I wasn't talking to my

friends I wasn't I wasn't taking care of myself and my own private life and what

I was going this you know future I was going to be walking into I was in a lot

of denial and it was just basically white knuckling it hanging on for dear

life on to my old life refusing to let it go and you know that's another thing

is you know never again will I ever be in a position will ever be trying to

convince someone that I'm worthy you know never again will I be trying to

convince someone that you know to come and you know beg them to come to my

party no I know not ever again you know it's a privilege to get to be part of my

life it's a privilege to get to be part of your life you know and you need to

see it that way and just the fact that you've been you know you may have been

rejected by your own parents by people that should have loved you but that had

nothing to do with you it absolutely had nothing at all to do with you so

you know you can't take that rejection as something that says anything at all

about you because it doesn't it speaks volumes about them but it says nothing

about you and your worthiness at all so you know it's you know so just remember

that it's just because the people that were supposed to love you that we're

supposed to be there a protective of you just because they weren't it didn't mean

that you didn't deserve it it didn't mean that you weren't worthy of it does

it mean that you weren't a great daughter a great wife a great friend you

were all those things I'm absolutely certain of it but they couldn't they

they just didn't have it in them they didn't want they couldn't they couldn't

connect with you they couldn't love they couldn't feel it couldn't have intimacy

and they saw you as someone that they could use and as soon as they were done

using you as soon as you figured them out or as soon as they got really super

envious of you or whatever it turned around and they attacked you and you

ain't nothing to do with that but that is a toxic person and you don't have to

make excuses for toxic people and you don't have to let toxic people stomp all

over your house take a crap on your carpet you know you don't have to let

that happen and the longer that the more that you do let that happen and the

reason we do it we do it largely because there are lots of reasons we do it we

hang on to certain relationships especially romantic relationships

especially because the longer we've done it that we've stayed in that we don't

want it we can't we think oh all this investment of time and effort and energy

I can't end up with nothing I can't do this and end up with nothing it's like

the gambler is philosophy you know they just keep hanging in there exciting the

big win is gonna come it's got to come eventually right but it doesn't have to

come and the longer that you stay there the greater the chances that you are

absolutely going to end up feeling a tremendous loss and end up with nothing

because you're not paying attention to the rest of your life and you're just

devoting all this energy that's just going to be completely wasted it's

completely a waste of your time to try and hang on to something that when

someone's trying to get away for they're trying to break up with you

they're trying once and onesimus starts abusing you when some monsters you know

treating you poorly say I'm out of here you're not you know I would never again

put up with being mistreated like that never again I kept hanging on Theo he'll

turn around he'll be you know he'll see that he's wrong and he'll start treating

me nice again forget that I'm not sticking around while someone is

treating me like that never again you know and so and and so

the the but the interesting thing is here is that you know going through that

once and having it be just this brutal brutal experience actually gone through

a couple of times but you know basically the same timeframe but going through

that and coming out the other side I'm not you know when something happens like

what happened when someone attacks me on YouTube for instance it's a no-brainer

to me and that's not person I'm ever gonna let into my life but it's very

very interesting how that wasn't how that everyone didn't react that way and

so I don't know if that means that brutal you know maybe your discards were

not completely totally brutal and wiped you out where you had to just completely

fight for your life and so you aren't willing to do it again I don't know or

maybe it's just still too close and you're still really unhealed I'm not

sure what would make that happen but I do believe that I do believe that a

person who's gone through a really devastating discard and healed from it

and overcome it and then done the work worked on themselves and and result is

not gonna put it up it's not gonna put up with the toxic person I think because

well in that and that's normal not to you know it's normal not see most people

don't you know people that don't go through narcissistic abuse don't put up

with that you know it's it's an it's an unusual thing to put up with it and and

so our long fuse for abuse in our our big tolerance for the pain is unusual

but it's not it's not a good thing you know having a high threshold for

emotional pain is not a good thing it's condoning abuse and it's what draws

abusers to you you know you you will you will end up crossing paths

with abusers a whole lot less once you become less tolerant of it you

know once you become less tolerant of it there is nowhere else that people that

act that way could get away with it they act that way they abuse us because no

one else is going to put up with it absolutely not

you know so get the toxic people out of your life and that's just easy as pie to

do because you just don't give them any attention dry up the attention dry up

the narcissistic supply and they'll go away you know if they're just carding

you any way they want to go away and so you know you stop showing them your pain

you stop fighting back you stop begging them you stop you stop giving them any

sort of attention and it'll die a natural death it will because they're

trying to make their break anyway all right you guys thank you so much I will

edit this and get it over on YouTube all right thanks for 10 bye bye

you

For more infomation >> How to Deal With the Toxic People in Your Life (Knowing Who They Are) - Duration: 20:52.

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4 Learning Styles - Duration: 10:55.

The first meeting is a chance to get to know each other and set a friendly

relaxed tone for your learning partnership. Your first meeting is a

chance to decide when and where you'll meet and to gather information to make

tutoring relevant and rewarding for your learner, find out what your learner wants

to learn about or be able to do, and what helps your learner learn best, and enjoy

yourself. So Jeanine one of the things that's kind

of fun to do at first is what's called a learning styles inventory. Have you ever

done one? No. No, a learning styles inventory it's just kind of a little

quiz that helps us find out how you learn best because not everybody learns

the same way. Some people learn best by looking at things they have to see it

they can't just hear it it'll go in one ear and out the other. Some people learn

by listening some people are good listeners they can listen to the news

and hear things and talk about them. Some people learn best by moving things

around and touching them and they have to get active their body has to be

involved in it. So for each of the learning styles you kind of have to use

different materials and ways of doing things that are specific to you so that

you will take any information at your best. So we all don't order from the same

menu. You're right that's a great way of putting it. So I was thinking that we

could do the learning styles inventory and see if we can find out how you

learned this so that next week when we get started I can use that information

in a way hopefully we'll make it work for you. So the first category is about

it's called visual strengths and that is like we said as people who like looking

at things people who learn by seeing. I'll just ask you the question and you

just don't think about it too long because then it'll be different.

The first one says you can put together almost anything

with help when using printed or pictures picture directions. Does that sound like

you? Yes. Okay do you close your eyes when you try to memorize something or

remember it? I look around. Nope. Do you notice things around you?

Yes. Pay attention all right. Are you good at working with and solving jigsaw

puzzles? Yes. Do you like to see what you're learning?

Yes. Okay do you have a good imagination? Yes. Okay.

Do you think the best way to remember something is to picture it in your mind?

Yes. Okay. All right so the next section is about hearing.

It's called auditory strengths. The first question here is do you love to

communicate and talk a lot? Yes. Okay in your spare time

do you enjoy listening to a CD or music or something on the radio? Yes. Okay and

the last category that we talked about is the hands-on category. It's a fancy

word they call it kinesthetic. Kinesthetic? Kinesthetic. It means like movement and

this one is tactile and touchy. Tactile. People who like to touch things and move

them around. Yeah so tactile is touching. Kinesthetic is moving. Okay. Yeah. Is it

hard to hold your attention especially when reading unless the story is full of

action? Do you need if you're reading a book does it have to be something that

really grabs your interest or you get a drift off? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Are you a high-energy

person who doesn't sit so much? Mmm sometimes. Sometimes. Well we'll call that

not so much. Okay so when you were young was your mom always yelling at you don't

touch that don't touch that? No. Okay so it looks like from the inventory that

you are mostly a visual learner. Looks like this is your predominant

on the one that works best for you. If I said okay read through this, how would

would that work best for you? Would you remember more if I read it and you're

looking at it at the same time? If we did it together

yeah. Yeah so that means that they they're taking things in the seeing it

and the hearing it together is going to strengthen it for you more than just

giving you something to read. So see it define it and use it. Yeah yeah. So for a

visual learner it means you remember visual details.

Some people look around and and they just look around and go on. But you you

can remember things about what you see. It says you can follow along when others

read. Mm-hmm. Yeah you would rather see what needs to be learned that's what we

just talked about yeah. You need written instructions if somebody says

okay here's how you make cookies just like me you probably won't remember a

past ingredient two. But give you the recipe and cookies it is. Right it says

you also might have trouble following lectures. And for a visual learner as a

reader you learn from reading words and stories rather than hearing them and you

figure out symbols and signs because you're used to looking at the details.

That sound right? Yes. Yep you're an observer you look around for the details.

Those are the things that clue you in. You read other people's body language.

Are you good at that? Absolutely, yeah so again and

we talked about how dressing neat and colors and matching and things like that

so this says you look for color shape and design. That's sound right? It's kind of net how that works.

Yeah fits you to a tee. Yeah

So on the other page that tells us a little bit about the things that we can

do in our sessions together that'll help you learn and remember best. Okay. So for

a visual learner it says these learners may have

auditory problems such as difficulty remembering the alphabet and less

starting from the beginning. Has that ever been a problem? If I said okay

ell what's the rest of the alphabet? m-n-l-o-p. Okay that's not you then. My kids have

grown. I had to learn it as they grew. That's true kids'll get you on top of

things. For us we can use visual words when we talk like I see that explain

things on paper with pictures. Sometimes it's a lot easier to see what I'm

Talking about then it is to hear what I'm talking about.

Have you ever done a visualization exercise? Have you ever closed your eyes

and listen to music and kind of went wherever it took you or look at a

picture and imagine what that person's life might be like? Ever tried that? We

call that daydreaming and that's usually at the beach. When we write it down we

call it a story. mm-hm So that again we do have a book that

comes out every year of stories that the learners in this program write. And that

is a really good way to start a story. So that's something else that we could do

at some point. Maybe I can put it down as my goal. Oh we'll add it to it. Okay so we

can describe things in visual terms right? You go to one of the high tech

places and you hear a lot of high tech words and it makes no sense at all. But

when we describe things, the colors, the shapes, the textures, the background,

then yeah it comes a little more clear. So the next point says we can

teach with flashcards or posters or maps. Does that sound like something that could

work? Actually I bought some information with me we're doing. Can I share it with

you? Sure. Okay so I've been studying and on my own but

I found this and this is the kind of style it's for flashcards for the test

that I have to take. And so this is kind of what I've been doing is has been

um like what are the four C's who for a person's credit score. And then I just

been matching it up to pictures and stuff so this has really helped me. So

maybe we can kind of go over this or maybe make some flashcards. This is

perfect. This is exactly what we've been talking about. This is completely visual.

It's no wonder this works so well for you. Where did you find it? I found it on the

Internet um so I went through my class and I graduated and got my certificate

now I just have to take my state test. And so this is what I when I hear the

word test and stuff like that I get a little nervous. So I really kind of just

did some research on the internet and this seemed like a good fit for me.

You're right. It's absolutely perfect and this is good

because going forward this is a great example of what I can do to help you

with other things. Okay great. All right thanks so much Jeanine it was so nice to

meet you. You too. Thanks Jane. I am so looking forward to getting

together. Thank you. All right. Okay. Both tutors and learners tend to feel

nervous about meeting each other and getting started. Just know the sharing

your time and yourself and a sense of enthusiasm will get your relationship

off to a great start on your learning adventure.