Thứ Năm, 31 tháng 8, 2017

Youtube daily what Aug 31 2017

Jilllll is a model citizen, she can't tell no lies, says how it really is, and puts it all on line. She's a model citizen. Hey guys, this is gonna be a quick video about what

essentially you should include in your model bag; whether it's going to castings

or just going to an actual photo shoot. This is what I include: it's

standard to have your beige bra and panties but I also like to include black

if you're shooting it just gives you another variety, if the lines on the

beige bra just don't look right you've got a plan B. Now it's obvious that you

need a pair of heels but they shouldn't be like too complicated, just standard

pumps; black or beige. Now in the world of technology

this might seem foreign, but I always try to make sure I carry money on me...

unfortunately this is about the amount I make sure to carry, but if you have an

emergency it's nice to have twenty dollars in case you need to get a taxi

because you're phones dead and you can't get a hold of Uber. On the topic of your

phone die, everybody brings their phone but not everybody brings their charger

so I make sure to include both of thos. If I have crud under my nails and

it's a beauty shoot I feel like I might have just ruined the whole shoot so I

make sure to bring nude nail polish, just on the off trace, because I want the

photos are going to be as good as they can possibly be.

Bring lotion because the one time that you don't is also going to be the one

time where the makeup artist didn't bring lotion. Chapstick -

because I live in the world of thirst for my lips... there's no amount of water

that's gonna make these babies soft. Three weeks ago my pits were not as

close to of a shave as they could have been,

so now I carry this on me at all times. I wouldn't bring it on a plane but

if you can carry it on you it can function as a weapon worst case scenario.

And if your casting is gonna be long, you might as well bring my book cuz it's all

perspective it's a really fun how to model guide and gives you an idea of

what you might earn if you go overseas and what the markets are like and it

also shares a whole bunch of other models stories. If you like what I'm

putting out please comment like subscribe down below thanks for watching

For more infomation >> How to Model - What to pack for a photo shoot or casting - Duration: 2:54.

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What does couchlike mean? - Duration: 0:34.

For more infomation >> What does couchlike mean? - Duration: 0:34.

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Kim Soo Hyun Reveals What He Thinks Of The Philippines and Filipinos - Duration: 1:17.

Kim Soo Hyun Reveals What He Thinks Of The Philippines and Filipinos

Kim Soo Hyun recently talked about his impressions of the Philippines and its people.

He noted that the country has changed a lot from what he remembers from his childhood visit. But one thing that hadnt changed was the warm and welcoming love of the Phillippines culture.

Everyone was very welcoming and thank you for all your love and support. – Kim Soo Hyun.

Kim Soo Hyun was visiting to greet his Filipino fans in the middle of his endorsement promotions for Samsung. With how warmly he was received in the Philippines, Kim Soo Hyun will probably visit again soon!.

Check out Kim Soo Hyuns sweet comments to Filipinos below!.

For more infomation >> Kim Soo Hyun Reveals What He Thinks Of The Philippines and Filipinos - Duration: 1:17.

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Camps, Showcase Events, Now What? [LacrosseGoalieTips.com] - Duration: 9:22.

Are Hey guys.

Jonathan Edwards Coach Edwards

with lacrosse goalie tips

dot.com and lacrosse goalie

University dot.com.

Hope you're having a good time

at the start of school and you

know it's interesting this time

of year because people are

taking a count into account

what it is they've done over

the summer.

New school year starts you

know new goals new dreams.

Those sorts of things which is

really really really cool.

So as I mentioned last week

I've been working on a book

hoping to have that published

pretty soon here.

It's called an athlete's guide

to winning in sports and

life. You can check out over

athlete specific dot.

And while you're over there

sign up for the newsletter.

I've got free audio for you.

And you can check that out.

And and I hope

that when the book is ready

that you'll buy one and you'll

give it to an athlete in your

life not necessarily lacrosse

goalie but any athlete in your

life who is looking

for ways to improve and really

make their athletic dreams

happen. So hey

this week new goalie's

welcome from the newsletter

from Winter Park Florida

Potomac Potomac Maryland

Kings Park New York Birmingham

Michigan sweet and Penfield

New York. Love that the game.

Lacrosse is growing and always

loved here and you know from

people in the traditional you

know neighborhoods like New

York but then Florida Michigan

you know Ontario those

of those more far

away places so it's pretty

cool.

So this week's question comes

from a dad as Dear Coach

Edwards.

While the summer is over my son

has played in two skills based

camps to showcase events

and two tournaments with his

club team. Now what.

He's a sophomore in high school

and has the Division 1 dream

but he's not sure where he

wants to go. What's the next

step.

Great question.

So first answer is

grab a copy of my book

which is a guide

to lacrosse recruiting you'd

find out put the link below.

It's also on the product page

on the Web site.

But in that book you'll find

everything that I tell a young

goalie.

But you know first and foremost

you know when I think about

this question it's

your question is retroactive

right you've done all this work

and now you're wondering if the

work was like the right stuff.

It's better off being proactive

when you pick all these camps.

And one of the things that I

tell a lot of goalies to do is

that you need to take inventory

of your game.

So while your goalie may

have the dream of playing

Division 1 playing lacrosse

Division 1.

Are they worthy of

being a Division 1 lacrosse

goalie and so the first step to

look is like you know yeah are

they the best in their team.

Probably in this case are they

the best in their league.

Are they the best in their

state.

Right. Are they best in their

region.

You know are they the one of

the best in the country you

know the only way you find that

out is

by doing the approach that I

did when I was in high school.

Like my goal was to be the best

goalie on my team.

And when that was done I wanted

to be the best goalie in the

league. And when that was done

I wanted to get away from my

league and go out into these

other areas to test

myself against other goalies.

So if I went to a skills based

camp I while I was learning

lacrosse goalie specific skills

and you know in a multi

position environment right.

There's middies and defense and

all the stuff I

was I wanted to make the

All-Star team at that event.

Right.

And then I wanted to

get around other players other

positions you know get around

better shooters you

know challenge myself at that

next level.

So while you've done all these

things.

OK.

There's a lot of things to

come out of it. One

did your goalie

find out what it is they need

to work on right now.

What's interesting is some of

these events I understand

there's no contact between

coaches and

athletes you know college

coaches and athletes.

But this is where your

coach on your team.

You know if you're on a club

team needs to be telling you

this is what needs

to be worked on and you need to

then take that information

and then improve it.

One of the worst things I see

is when people invest a lot of

money in a showcase event

and they're just trying to get

seen when they have no reason

to be seen yet.

Right. They're just you know

the idea is not to get seen.

The idea is to be seeable.

Right. You want to be good so

good that you're worthy

of being seen and it's in

people flip that around a lot.

It's like they're going to

these events trying to get

seen. Now you've got to be

seeable.

So start there.

You have to be when it comes to

now recruiting from

these events and to kind of

make it to the next level.

You have to be proactive.

Just like what I mentioned to

Kim in last week's

last week's blog post.

You know you have your goalie

has to take the time to know

where they want to go to

school. OK.

One of the worst things I see

is one goalies play what I call

the Match.com game right

where they put up a recruiting

video and or they

you fill out.

They all like lacrosse recruits

truth there's not lacrosse

lacrosse recruits or any of

those services they put up

an ad in hope somebody will

swipe right and like them.

Right.

A goalie needs to be proactive

in where they want to go to

school.

Right so that's you know the

first step is finding a school

that's a good fit.

You know you may come from

a small town and

want to play at Ohio State

and not realize that it's like

60000 people there.

Right. So it's like a city you

know that may not be a good fit

for you. Right so just blindly

wanting to go to a division one

school is really not.

It's really not the approach

you need to take. OK.

So keep that in mind

also have a plan

for your recruiting.

Right so yes you did all these

things this summer.

But what was the plan.

What were you trying to

do. Were you trying you

know did you go to a skills

based camp at a school

that you may want to attend.

You did.

Like when I was growing up I

wanted to go to Cornell so I

went to the Cornell lacrosse

camp learned some of the best

stuff I ever learned and also

got on that campus and had a

chance to see myself and feel

what it was like. Did I like

it. I want to be there you know

and those sorts of things.

That was one thing at the

Syracuse camp.

Why did I go to Syracuse camp.

Well I wanted to play Division

1 and Syracuse was the hot team

at the time so I went to

Syracuse camp but that probably

wasn't the best choice

right. But I did learn that

Syracuse wasn't a school that I

wanted to go to.

Right. So no offense to people

in Syracuse or people who go to

Syracuse. But the point is I

went to that camp to get around

the coaches to get around

a school and see if it was

going to be the right fit for

me as a as a person.

So.

So take inventory of your game.

So your goalie did all these

great events this summer but

what did they

learn like what did you come

out of this summer with.

You know what deficiencies does

your goalie need to work on.

You know are they too slow.

Is there for or bad are there

is their outlet passing not

good.

Do they have trouble reading

the shooter. Like what.

You know what is it.

Are they good.

You know with time and room

shots or shots on the move

you know those types of

questions you have to take

inventory of and decide

what it is we need to work on

so that we can be a

seeable recruit able

across going.

OK. So thanks for the great

question this week.

If you're in you know one of

things I recommend to everybody

is take advantage

of lacrosse goal University

dotcom. All right.

One of the things I've put

everything I know as a coach on

that Web site and if

you want it and also when you

are member you get a free Goli

critique. So you get to send

me a video and critique it and

I will tell you what I think

you need to work on. All right

so to take advantage of that

head on over to lacrosse goal

University dotcom and

or you can join right at the

link above. This video on our

website. But I

would have been happy to have a

look and have you in there and

coach you like I do many girls

from across the world which is

very sweet. All right some

Coach Edwards lacrosse player

tips dotcom if this video helps

you do me a favor like it share

it. Be sure to subscribe on

YouTube and send this to

somebody that you know needs

it.

And if you have a question for

me Coach Edwards lacrosse

votive Zackham you season

Jer's.

For more infomation >> Camps, Showcase Events, Now What? [LacrosseGoalieTips.com] - Duration: 9:22.

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Why many leaders think diversity is a buzzword and what could make them change their mind. - Duration: 9:32.

Have you ever felt a bit skeptical about the talking on diversity in the workplace?

Have you ever scrolled past an article on diversity and thought: "Here we

have it, the same boring diversity mantra again". If yes, this video is for you

I am Federica Viero, a cultural diversity investigator and founder of

The Intercultural Lab. This video is about why many business leaders think

diversity is a no-go in their workplaces and what could possibly make them change

their mind. Because there's a lot of talking about workplace diversity

nowadays. It's been a very popular global topic in research and in the

media for decades now. Still, it's adoption by the corporate world has been

way less popular. Entire industries, boards, even teams are divided. There's

the diversity advocates on one side, thought leaders, inspiring CEOs, and they say: "Hey

do you realize how important diversity is for your business?" and on the other

side all those corporate decision makers, maybe you're one of them, who respond

"Uh-huh. Sure. Can I please get back to work now?

Got real challenges waiting for me out there. This divide is not only huge it's

also one of the least discussed. Because the talking of diversity itself is going

crescendo, but the story of what must have gone wrong with these stubborn

diversity opponents is not as appealing as some highly visible success stories

or some juicy Silicon Valley stories. You probably read about this recent

Google-related gender diversity affair, that's an example. Still I think it will

be worth putting more efforts towards understanding the gaps in this divided

community of corporate business leaders because a lot of them work in the

trenches of the corporate arena and haven't welcomed the diversity trend and

I don't believe that just because they have grown skeptical about diversity

they are all terrible, dull, insensitive micromanagers. So why this

skepticism? I think we have a bit of a tendency to preaching to the converted

to speaking to the ones who already bought our message. It feels more natural

somehow, while those who are not "converted" usually don't speak at all in

this debate, I mean why should they? It's not their conversation. The outcome

however it's a huge missed opportunity. Because here's the thing: if you do

believe that diversity is crucial to your success you have welcomed the idea

you are not the one who would need to hear about diversity the most. However we

often end up speaking to you first, for example we use a kind of "inspirational

quote" communication style which only can resonate with you if you are convinced

or we tell diversity success stories and say: "Other leaders should get inspired

from here and drive change". True, but how exactly are they supposed to go about it?

I think there is a need for clarifying and getting deeper into the business

fundamentals of diversity because they're not a given. We all love and I

love talking passion and why diversity so beneficial but the risk is to

disregard the how. We don't really focus on how real dimensions of diversity can

help address specific business concerns. Now, I would never dare saying that the

why is not important and that we should not start with it, still we can't assume

that everyone in the corporate world is prompted to instantly see the connection

between diversity and their very specific business success and simply own it.

We need to make this link ready to implement for the real employee, manager

or business leader in the trenches who is supposed to apply it in their world.

So how can we do that? I believe that when given more business context and

more practical examples of how the step-by-step process may look like, the

process of how diversity can help you bring your professional role to life

everyday and help you enhence fundamental

business processes in the direction of better results, then you will 1. be

listening 2. start playing with what's available and 3. eventually grab the

win, because there is a wind to grab. And the good news is these resources you

need to start moving in this direction are already available right now all

around you. Precious, leverageable assets you can

start agitating right away to boost competitive advantage, people

happiness and your influence throughout the process. OK,

what about getting practical with this now? Using a specific example? I would

like to pick a quite common corporate question, the transition to a new CRM

system - customer relationship management system - and consider the impact of

diversity on this process. Probably many of you have experienced a CRM transition in your company's so hopefully you can relate. The aspect of diversity I'm gonna

consider here is cultural diversity, one of the most pervasive in my opinion and

the dearest to my heart by the way. But before we get into the case, there is a

tiny but essential bit of stage setting I would do a stage setting now so that

next time - next week - we are ready to dive into our case of CRM transition. Pretty

much the only thing we need to set the stage is a minimalistic yet a very clear

way to look at any company - let's say your company - in a way that let us make sense

of the flow of recurring fundamental processes that keep your company alive,

operating and potentially profitable. We want to look at what shapes this

fundamental processes and how they drive the company's results through time, as

they happen and we will see how diversity comes in here. To keep it very

simple and business-oriented, the idea we can start from, in a super concentrated

nutshell, is that every single person in your team brings in a unique cultural

mix. It's a set of cultural dimensions shaped by personality, by national

culture of origin, and previous organizational cultures they experienced.

Every individual is contributing - or at least ready to contribute - their own

cultural input their own mix of dimensions. Hopefully, and most likely,

this inputs are not perfectly aligned. Most likely there is cultural diversity

in your team. So understanding the business basics of cultural diversity

really boils down to looking at how this cultural mixes shape an impact (because

they do) some fundamental organizational processes. It means how they impact

things that go on on a regular basis in your company. These processes are for

example - just to mention the most relevant ones - teamwork and yes: seeing

teamwork as a process is extremely helpful. And another one is the

decision-making process, be it collective or individual these are processes that

determine the long-term business success of your company and the long-term

well-being of the people too. Success unfolds along these processes it's through

teamwork and by making the right decision decisions -among other things -

that you set the right stepstones on the way to results. And workplace happiness

is created and nurtured along these processes as well, as they happen.

So to recap: individual culture mixes affect these fundamental processes - one

is teamwork - that affect success and happiness in your workplace. Ok, done! Once

we understand how the culture mixes shape teamwork - just to focus on this one

process - and how the success of a business unfolds and happens through

teamwork, once we get clear on this causality, then we can start addressing

how to touch it with purpose and what available assets we can leverage in this

suite in order to affect the bottom line. So here we have it: the absolutely

minimum thinking framework we need to start analyzing your real business situations

and see the impact of cultural diversity on the work you orcherstrate everyday

within your team. Next week, we will use it to jump into our CRM transition case

and see how you could bring value to the process by leveraging diversity. If you

found this video valuable please share it with a skeptical business leader you

care about. An article version of this video is also available, I will link to

it in the description. I hope to see you next week, until then let's embrace

working multiculturally!

For more infomation >> Why many leaders think diversity is a buzzword and what could make them change their mind. - Duration: 9:32.

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Virgil van Dijk to Liverpool odds: What the bookies think about potential deal being done - Duration: 1:45.

Virgil van Dijk to Liverpool odds: What the bookies think about potential deal being done

Van Dijk wants to join Liverpool but Starsport have been told there is NO chance of a deal being done. Saints are adamant the Dutchman is going nowhere, despite the Reds being prepared to pay £70m to get the centre-back.

Southampton legend Francis Benali expects Van Dijk to stay, and thinks big money could be on the way next summer. My gut feeling is that Virgil will still be a Saints player when the window shuts," he said.

"There's a lot of talk about the money he could go for and seeing the sort of fees some players are fetching it could take a huge, maybe record bid to prise him away after another good season at Southampton.

"Saints could be looking at £80m-plus.

It will be a decision for the club to take but I'm pleased with the stance they have taken and would like to see him remain a Saints player as long as possible. Liverpool have completed the signing of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain from Arsenal for £35m.

For more infomation >> Virgil van Dijk to Liverpool odds: What the bookies think about potential deal being done - Duration: 1:45.

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What's in my Shower Bag? - Duration: 9:02.

hello friends it's standing welcome back to my channel today I was cleaning out

my shower bag and I figured I might as well go ahead and show you guys what I

carry in my shower bag so my actual shower bag is a hard case it has a strap

here where you can attach it to other luggage if you're flying or traveling

like that easy to clean I wipe it off with a wet one or whatever in the truck

and if something spills in here we've probably all had the lid come off the

shampoo or something gets a leak in it for some reason it just stays confined

to in this bag it doesn't you know leak through a cloth bag and on to other

things in the truck so this does have a separator in it so I've got two sides

one side I keep my products in and the other side I keep my clothes in so let's

go ahead and see what's in here the first thing your shower shoes

everybody needs to have shower shoes if you don't have shower shoes you're

probably gonna get foot fungus we've both seen those drivers but we have you

know if you take a shower ever have taken a shower in the pilot or the TA or

any truck stop I'm sure you've had to go in a shower and look at it and be like

you know this this is you can get cleaned at all they didn't even attempt

to you know wipe the hair out of the sink or they didn't clean the toilet off

at all you know so if they're not cleaning just the regular things that

you see that's blatantly obvious you know they're not cleaning the floor in

the shower good now they might spray it and run some water on it but that's not

good enough if they're sick fungus there you just don't want to take a chance of

catching it use your shower shoes okay lotion mine in the bath and Bodyworks

motion but in a truck I've noticed I could dry your skin I think it's because

I'm always in either the heat or the air-conditioning because in a shirt

that's what you do you're in the heat or air conditioning then I have a body

spray that matches the lotion that's kind of just a girly thing I keep it I

like it you know perfumes smells good I like it

next is suntan lotion you'll see here there's little dog bites on it where

someone thought she would chew it up thank goodness she didn't get all the

way through it but when I'm done showering I put this on my face at least

if I'm going to bed I may not put it on my arms and stuff but you know I have

the window open here days like today where it's sunny I put it all over

SPF 70 I burn like crazy you may or may not need it depending on your skin tone

but you know for me I have to have it okay something else

cute it you know pretty self-explanatory you gotta clean your ears clean whatever

q-tips pair of tweezers I also I pair fingernail clippers but I keep them in

the truck by me when I'm driving because it seems like when I'm driving is when I

find a hangnail and I apologize if I keep looking out

here if you guys watched my other video you know I'm in a motel in an area with

a lot of drug addicts and drug dealers so people make me nervous when they walk

by so I'm trying to get the video done so I can shut the window okay we've got

a bottle of shampoo and this is a small bottle you see metal next to my hand

it's not very big however I like the small bottle in my

bag and I keep a larger bottle in the truck

when I my smaller bottle you know gets below half maybe then I just refill it

out of the truck by the way I ain't carrying around a big heavy bottle of

shampoo when I'm just using it you know a little

dime or a quarter size thing in my hand I don't I don't feel like I need to

carry it around I don't like my bag being overstuffed and heavy so yogurt we

don't want to smell we all need deodorant and if you don't have

deodorant in your shower bag then you need to get something okay let's see I

have a spare toothbrush now this toothbrush isn't a real good toothbrush

it came from a motel that I was staying at and I had forgotten line in the truck

so I forgive you complimentary things if you call and ask the desk and I got this

really simple toothbrush it goes into a compartment on the side so nothing else

gets on it but I do keep it in there I keep my regular toothbrush and

toothpaste in the truck again you don't want to set your tooth brush down on the

counter you know the people probably didn't clean the counter good and if you

set it down even if you're setting it down on the back and it's flat you still

stick the whole thing in your mouth when you brush your teeth so just don't even

do it brush your teeth in the truck that's

what I do personal preference because I don't want something in my mouth that

has touched anything in the trick stuff so I'd know unless it's food you know

something that ain't been properly cleaned right hair brush pretty simple

this is a tangle free style hairbrush I have horrible tangly hair I've got some

personal hygiene items for the ladies I just keep them in there all the time

when I use those I throw some more in there you know no set amount or any

thing this is a job somebody walked by the window that is one of the purpose of

having dogs because no one is going to try and get in this room yeah you showed

up didn't you yeah this is a little holder that you

put on the back of your bra that pulls your straps in it kind of pulls these up

and pulls the back back so it actually looks better so you don't have stretched

showing depending on what you're wearing and this is fairly needed so I should be

able to hide my strips better in future videos I've got a razor I keep it in a

little case so I don't cut myself with it when it's rolling around but just a

simple razor okay a couple ponytail holders and I don't wish my hair

everyday I actually found out found through trial and error that and through

YouTube then if I don't wash it every day it grows better it doesn't break off

it ends up being healthier so you know if I shower every day which I like to as

long as like if the opportunity you know I just put my hair up in a ponytail

don't wash it and just wash it every two to three days or so

a man I like to say I have is some makeup and I know this isn't necessary

but I like it and I'm going out of the room today and do anything if I was in a

different hotel I would be outside the room and the dogs would be walking we'd

be sitting on the patio somewhere having a cappuccino or whatever we'd be out

exploring for our time off so for makeup I have just a loose powder to kind of

even out my face and of course the color is pale Thank You Alma for pointing that

out to me I'd never known help me see I have a silver it's not

liquid but it's it's a cream consistency color tattoo I shadow I have a lore'l

hairs what's it called infallible it's a powder eyeshadow covergirl white ones it

just is a regular one I have eyeliner and the mascara and I

have to makeup brushes and you'll notice both of these have container around them

anything that's loose like that like you know I put powder on it that powder is

gonna come out in my bag so anything that just gonna come out in your bag and

make a mess you probably just want to go ahead and keep it in a plastic in a

container like this a ziploc bag whatever you have available to you so it

doesn't make a mess so that's what's in my shower bag guys if you have any

questions or comments about it make sure and leave them below and as always make

sure to do something today that your future self thank you for

For more infomation >> What's in my Shower Bag? - Duration: 9:02.

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Maroon 5 – What Lovers Do (Lyrics / Lyric Video) feat. SZA - Duration: 3:20.

For more infomation >> Maroon 5 – What Lovers Do (Lyrics / Lyric Video) feat. SZA - Duration: 3:20.

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What does hatchet man mean? - Duration: 1:01.

For more infomation >> What does hatchet man mean? - Duration: 1:01.

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What does second baseman mean? - Duration: 0:48.

For more infomation >> What does second baseman mean? - Duration: 0:48.

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How to figure out what to do with your life - #realtalkwithrobbie episode 2 - Duration: 13:04.

- I like sports.

I could do something in sports.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

In what capacity?

- You know, like the general manager of a baseball team.

- Yeah, well, that could be tough to get.

- The problem I have with some of these personality

assessments like the Meyers-Briggs or the strengths finders

and other assessments is that they don't answer

the million dollar question,

and the million dollar question is: Now what?

Now, what do I do with my life?

No, seriously, what should I do with my life?

Okay, I took the Meyers-Briggs.

I'm ENTJ.

Okay, now what?

Does that mean because I like other people

that I should become a salesperson?

Does that mean that because I'm a connector,

that I should become a recruiter?

Does that mean that I should become a doctor

because I enjoy giving forward?

What does that mean?

What action should I take with my life and so,

over the course of this video,

I'm going to give you some of my secrets and

the questions that I ask to the people that

I'm having coffee with and I've done hundreds of these

and I've gotten really good at honing down what

the real issues are and what's holding people

from taking the next step.

- Okay, sports, movies.

What about a talk show host?

(laughter)

- Talk show host?

That's good.

(laughter)

- I think I'd be good at that.

I talk to people all the time.

Someone even told me once they thought

I'd be a good talk show host.

- Really?

- Yeah, a couple of people.

(laughter)

- Number one is the dream job doesn't exist,

so stop following it.

I know you're trying to combine two skills into one

but let's be real.

What you're looking for,

especially if you're watching this video,

it doesn't really exist in real life and

by going after that,

I think you're really setting yourself backwards.

So, when I'm doing a coaching session,

when I'm talking to somebody,

the first thing that I do and the first question I ask is,

"What is your dream situation?"

Not your dream job, but what is your dream situation?

So, I'll give you an example of what that means.

For me, I am very clear on what I want my life to be like.

I want to live and work out of Thailand.

I want to be able to do it on my own terms and

I want it to involve writing and possibly digital marketing

or a combination of both.

I know that's what I want to do.

I already did an experiment, an experiment last year,

where I took a six month trip with my wife and

my two-year-old daughter at the time and I said to myself,

"This is something that I can do."

So, for me, my dream situation is how do I do that?

I have to be independent.

I have to be able to make good money outside of Thailand

and I have to be able to, obviously, do this all remotely.

I worked backwards from my savings.

I work backwards from my career.

How do I achieve that goal?

So, like, I am very clear.

I don't want to build a huge digital agency.

I am very clear that I don't want to build a big company.

I don't want to build a start-up and,

because I've been able to experience that first hand,

I know what I don't want and this has helped me

determine what my dream situation is.

Tip Number Two:

Accept the fact that nobody's going to hire you

if you have no social proof in the job

that you're applying for.

If you're a project manager and you've been doing

project management for 10 years and you want to become

a product marketer or a digital marketer

and you don't have experience in this, or social proof,

not experience but social proof that you're good

at digital marketing then you're never gonna get that job

through applying online or any of the traditional means.

Nobody's going to give you a chance to hire you

at something you might be good at.

It's not the way that this economy works and

it's not the way that this hiring system works.

Nobody's going to give you a chance to hire you

at something that they think you might be good at

unless they are your aunt or your uncle and

sometimes I'd argue that that doesn't always work either.

So, the question is now how do you actually actually build

social proof in something you don't have experience in?

Especially if you're at this crossroads of your life

where you're thinking,

"Well, I've been doing project management.

"I don't want to see a project plan for the rest of my life.

"How do I actually get out of that field and

"do something else but I also don't want to start over."

How do you actually get social proof of something?

That's for a different video but it really comes down

to hustle and understanding that you can get this experience

on your own as a freelancer or as a side hustle.

The internet is a crazy place where you can learn anything

and it's less about learning and reading.

It's about doing.

So, I talk to so many people and ask

"How do you learn new skills?"

And like, "Well, I read a lot of books."

Nah, like, reading is good but if you're trying to build

a new skill set, reading isn't going to help.

I'm a big fan of reading books but I know that when

I need to learn something new,

or I need to make a transition from one career to another,

that I have to make that leap and

the only reason I can do that is to teach myself or

to learn these new skills, build that experience.

- Maybe I could be like an announcer, like a color man.

(laughter)

You know how I always make those

interesting comments during the game?

(laughter)

- Yeah, yeah, you make good comments.

- So, what about that?

- Well, you know, they tend to give those jobs

to ex-ballplayers and people that are, you know,

in broadcasting.

(laughter)

- So, the next tip is, especially if you're trying to make

this transition from one career to another and

you're trying to figure out what to do next with your life,

the one thing you have to understand is

to make that transition,

you only really have to convince one person.

You have to convince one person to give you that job title

and a job that you can do for a few years and

you can put on your LinkedIn and your resume and it says,

hey, I can actually do this.

I actually have social proof that I'm good at what I'm doing

and you can point to case studies

and it's an easier discussion.

If you find yourself having to sell yourself,

then it doesn't really work.

Every interview that I've been part of where

I'm having to sell myself and the conversation isn't smooth,

I never get that job, almost never.

So, understand that people want to hire people that

they know are good at what they do but understand that

if you convince one person, you don't have to convince

an entire company or an entire industry.

You just have to convince one person to give you that chance

and again, how you actually do that

is for a different video,

but just stop trying to boil the ocean

and apply for jobs online,

especially if your resume and LinkedIn don't match

exactly what you're applying for.

If it's for something else or

you want to explore something else,

then you're going to have to convince one person who has

the ability to give you a legit job that they pay you for

and to help you take it to the next level.

Understand this.

Nobody's going to hire you for something that

you think you might be good at.

If you don't know what you're good at,

they for sure what you're good at

and so your value proposition needs to be very, very clear.

I like to play Devil's Advocate and ask them

a set of extreme questions that help them change

their perspective on how good or bad their situation is

or really, what their options are in choosing

what to do next with their life and their career.

I'll give you an example.

I spoke with someone who has 10 years of project management

experience from a great company but

can't stand the job anymore,

just can't look at another project plan,

can't stand looking at the people that he works with

because he's just not into project management

but he's good at it and he recognizes that

he can't get hired for anything else

outside of project management.

So, we start talking and the first thing I did is

I started with his dream situation and

after a few questions, we got on the topic of Los Angeles.

He wants to live in Los Angeles because he likes surfing,

he likes the weather, he likes the people,

and he likes the food.

Okay, so he has this option to actually transfer to L.A.,

so I said, great.

That's already a great thing.

What's the worst case scenario?

Let's say the worst case scenario is you get fired.

You're in L.A., okay, great.

What happens now?

He goes,

"Well, if I get fired, I have 10 years of

"project management experience.

"I already have offers from different companies.

"I have good confidence that I can get

"another job pretty quickly."

Okay, although you don't want to do project management,

we're playing the Extremes Game and you can always go back

to the things that you're good at.

Fine.

What happens if you can't get a project management job?

What happens now?

He goes,

"Well, I've been saving up a lot of money.

"I can live in L.A. for a pretty long time

"on the money that I've saved up."

Okay, that doesn't seem so bad.

You've already made some great long-term decisions.

Let's just say that you got fired from your job

as a project manager in L.A. and you run out of savings.

Do you become homeless?

Do you have a wife and kids?

He says no, so okay great.

I said,

"What's the worst case scenario?"

He goes,

"Well, if that happens, I can always move in with

"my aunt and my uncle who live in Redondo Beach

"and they have a big house that I can stay in."

That's your worst case scenario?

Your worst case scenario is you live with your wealthy aunt

and your uncle in Redondo Beach who miss seeing you anyway?

That's the worst thing that can happen

if everything else fails?

Now, I understand it's not ideal to live

with your aunt and your uncle but if you play

the Extremes Game, nine times out of 10,

it's really not that bad and you've psyched yourself

out of making that next step decision because

you're so worried about what's going to happen next.

Play the Extremes Game.

Play the Devil's Advocate.

Sit down with your family or your friends and say,

"What is the absolute worst case scenario?

"What happens?"

(laughter)

- How do you get that, though?

Where do you start?

- Well, that's where it gets tricky.

(laughter)

- You can't just walk into a building and say,

"I wanna be a talk show host."

- I wouldn't think so.

(laughter)

- It's all politics.

(laughter)

- Last tip is follow your effort, not your passions.

I can't stand when somebody gets up on stage, or on video,

and says, "Follow your passions."

I think it's, quite possibly,

one of the worst advice out there that you could give,

because my passion is to travel the world

and take pictures of my food and post them on Instagram.

That's literally my passion but, unfortunately,

I won't get paid for that.

So, when I quit my job in 2012,

it was the first time I've never had a paycheck.

What I naturally did, subconsciously,

is I went to connect with other people,

so I took a lot of coffee meetings.

I took 250 coffee meetings in 400 days.

Next thing I did was I started writing every day.

I never wrote in my entire life until I quit my job.

These two things,

along with helping people advance their careers,

these are the things that I spent

a lot of time and effort on,

even when I wasn't making money on it.

Now, I make money because of that,

but that's naturally where I progressed.

So, if someone told me that I can make $200,000 a year

selling potatoes online while I live in Thailand,

I'm gonna be the best damn potato salesman that ever existed

Of course, I'm not passionate about potatoes.

I could care less about potatoes.

But, I recognize that I'm good at it and

I can make money doing it.

So, when people say follow your passions,

I think it's advice that's often misguided and

you need to follow your effort.

If you quit your job,

what are the things that you would do naturally?

If you won the Lotto,

what are the things that you would do naturally

without anyone telling you that you have to do that?

So, follow your effort, become good at those things,

and once you make money,

you can start making riskier decisions with your career

and then you become really good at

other things that you want to try out.

Once you establish social proof that you're good at it,

then you can go ahead and convince one person

to help you make that leap into a different career.

That's how it works.

So, if you're trying to figure out

what do I do next with my life,

stop reading, stop taking personality assessment tests.

Again, they work a little bit but they don't tell you

what to do next with your life and

if you follow your effort, you build social proof,

you understand that you can build opportunities

in areas that you don't have direct experience in

or that your resume doesn't say directly.

That's the way that I live my life,

that's the way that I've advanced my career

and if you do that,

I think you'll have a lot of success in your life.

For more infomation >> How to figure out what to do with your life - #realtalkwithrobbie episode 2 - Duration: 13:04.

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What life lessons have you learned from an older relative? - Duration: 2:19.

What life lessons have you learned from an older relative?

With Surya Kolluri, Managing Director, Global Wealth & Investment Management at Bank of

America; Dr. Laura Carstensen, Founding Director of the Stanford Center on Longevity; Sarj

Nahal, Head of Thematic Investing Strategy with BofA Merrill Lynch Global Research; Ben

Storey Director of Retirement and Personal Wealth Solutions with Bank of America Merrill Lynch.

Please see important information at the end of this program. Recorded on June 21, 2016

MS. CARSTENSEN: Such an easy question for me actually.

It's my dad, who is 96 years old, a bio-physicist who continues to publish scientific papers

and who has approached his own aging both as an optimist, which I think is critical,

and problem-solver.

So he's never once thrown his hands up and said, "Oh I'm just getting old."

It's like, "Well that's hard for me to do.

I think I'll do it this way."

And he approaches life that way, with great resilience.

And he's a great role model for being a great person and a great older person.

MR. NAHAL: Well, much the same. I'm going to echo those sentiments with my grandfather,

95 years old, was a farmer and soldier, emigrated to the West, managed to retire at 55,

e-mails me every day and plays Words With Friends on his iPad with me.

So it just shows you how things can quickly, quickly transform with this generation.

MR. STOREY: I would have to say my grandfather, as well.

He actually lived into his mid-90s and something that he always instilled in the family was

being optimistic and life is better when you're optimistic.

Also that our most valuable asset is time.

He played golf up into his late 80s and used to always try to shoot his age.

And he would kid around that when you're 110 it's not that difficult, is what he would

tell his friends.

MR. KOLLURI: So my role model is my grandmother who lost our grandfather to Alzheimer's in

And so she was in her early 60s at the time, but she learned a classic language in her

widowhood.

And so I was a young kid, I was watching her learn this classic language and I was like,

that's pretty impressive.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION The views and opinions expressed are those

of the speakers, are subject to change without notice at any time, and may differ from views

expressed by Merrill Lynch or other divisions of Bank of America.

The information presented here is not intended to be either a specific offer to sell or provide,

or a specific recommendation to buy any particular product or service.

Merrill Lynch Wealth Management makes available products and services offered by Merrill Lynch,

Pierce, Fenner & Smith Incorporated (MLPF&S) and other subsidiaries of BofA Corp.

Merrill Edge is available through MLPF&S, and consists of the Merrill Edge Advisory

Center (investment guidance) and self-directed online investing.

The Private Banking and Investment Group is a division of MLPF&S that offers a broad array

of personalized wealth management products and services.

Both brokerage and investment advisory services (including financial planning) are offered

by the Group's Private Wealth Advisors through MLPF&S, a registered broker-dealer and registered

investment adviser.

The nature and degree of advice and assistance provided, the fees charged, and client rights

and Merrill Lynch's obligations will differ among these services.

Investments involve risk, including the possible loss of principal investment.

MLPF&S makes available certain investment products sponsored, managed, distributed or

provided by companies that are affiliates of BofA Corp. or in which BofA Corp. has a

substantial economic interest.

Investment products:

MLPF&S is a registered broker-dealer, member SIPC and a wholly owned subsidiary of BofA

Corp. 2017 Bank of America Corporation.

All rights reserved AR3W6SH7

For more infomation >> What life lessons have you learned from an older relative? - Duration: 2:19.

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#AskSpitzer - How do people decide what Spitzer should look at? - Duration: 1:04.

Hi.

My name is Janice Lee and I'm a staff astronomer here at IPAC.

My question is: "how does Spitzer figure out what it's going to observe?"

The answer is it's like a competition, so astronomers from all over the world send in

proposals to ask that Spitzer make certain observations, and they describe how those

observations will help them make new discoveries.

Then other groups of astronomers - selected based on their expertise and their background

- get together, read the proposals, study them and debate on which proposals are the

best ones, and the ones that should be observed by Spitzer.

And this is also the way that other Great Observatories and in fact other observatories

in the ground select the places on the sky that their telescopes should look at.

For more infomation >> #AskSpitzer - How do people decide what Spitzer should look at? - Duration: 1:04.

-------------------------------------------

What is The Festy Experience? - Duration: 1:06.

After a looong summer, this fall in the Blue-Ridge Mountains come OUTSIDE and play.

Come To the Festy Experience!

But don't just bring yourself, bring you Bestie!

Bring the whole family too!

Stay for the whole weekend

CRAFT BEER! WINE! CIDER!

KOMBUCHA and FREE WATER

Thats right - in your KLEAN KANTEEN STEEL CUP Saving 10's of 1000's of plastic bottles

every year from being used!

A variety of food trucks and local artisans all surrounded by the great outdoors

Hiking, Biking, trail running with the BLUE RIDGE BURN

Disc golf, yoga, rock wall in the KIDZONE

Campfire Jams into the night - pick along There'll be Music Workshops during the day,

and a full weekend full of WORLD CLASS MUSIC ON THE MAINSTAGE

FAMILY, MUSIC, OUTDOORS, and FUN!

See you in OCTOBER at THE FESTY EXPERIENCE

For more infomation >> What is The Festy Experience? - Duration: 1:06.

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What to do if you find false records about yourself online - Duration: 1:51.

For more infomation >> What to do if you find false records about yourself online - Duration: 1:51.

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What's in My Travel Makeup Bag - Los Angeles - Plus Urban Decay National Dog Day Event - Duration: 5:59.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Today I'm going to be bringing you a What's in My Travel Makeup Bag plus talk to you a

little bit about my whirlwind trip that I just took out to LA.

Urban Decay flew me out to LA for their National Dog Day event which was last Wednesday so

I was out there Tuesday, Wednesday, and came home on Thursday.

Because I wanted to just have a carryon, I didn't want to check a bag, I packed very,

very methodically and very light makeup-wise.

I basically packed this makeup bag which I absolutely love.

This is a, I guess it's my unicorn tarte makeup bag that I have.

Then I packed my small pursed sized tokidoki.

I'm going to run through everything that I have in this bag and show it to you to show

you what I brought.

I only brought one eye shadow palette and that was the Urban Decay Naked Ultimate Basics

Palette.

I brought this palette because I was planning on only using this eyeshadow right here, Magnet,

because it's a really nice color to make my blue-green eyes pop.

I did bring one loose eye shadow with me and that is Darling Girls, the Tragic Death of

Mr. Stay Puft.

I wore this on my lid one day but the rest of the time I just wore Magnet by itself because

I love it.

This was me packing very efficiently for eye shadow.

Usually I'll pack two or three different palettes, not this time.

I brought my RCMA Color Palette which basically I use this as a concealer.

This is the KA palette so it has KA1, KA2, KA3, KA4, and KO2.

I really just use the lightest shade as a concealer, sometimes I use it as foundation.

I brought my First Aid Beauty Moisturizing Primer, this is the Coconut Skin Smoothie

Priming Moisturizer.

I really love this stuff.

I saw this in a Jamie Paige video recently and decided to pick it up.

I'm really glad I did because it's really hydrating for my dry, sensitive skin.

For setting powder I brought my Milani Prep Set Go Powder.

This is not the illuminating powder, this is just a translucent because I feel like

the illuminating powder was adding a little bit of the peach tone so I haven't been using

it recently, I've just been using this translucent powder.

I also brought my travel size of the Urban Decay All Nighter Spray, this stuff is fantastic.

I brought two foundations, one is the Idun Minerals Jorunn Foundation.

The reason that I brought two was because I wanted to have a liquid to wear and I wanted

to have a powder for a light day.

The powder I brought is the Kat Von D Lock-it Foundation in Light 42.

This is slightly too pink toned for me so if I use a very light hand and only keeps

toward the center of my face I can usually get away with wearing it.

I did do a foundation test while I was there where I just put on my primer, my foundation,

and then set it with setting spray, did the rest of my makeup, set it with setting spray

again to see if I could get away without having to use setting powder but my makeup became

a total, complete multi-mess, it was horrible.

I was glad that I was testing that out on Tuesday rather than on another day.

On Wednesday for the event I wore my primer, my foundation, the setting powder, and then

setting spray and had no issues with my makeup staying all day.

I brought two blushes, one is Urban Decay's Rapture and one is Urban Decay's TMI.

These work really well together.

This one's slightly shimmery, this one's matte so they're really good to layer or use for

draping.

Of course, I brought my favorite highlighter, Makeup Geek Celestial, wore this everyday.

I used WunderBrow in jet black for my brows because it's my favorite.

I brought my It Cosmetics Superhero Mascara just in case I needed a mascara and this stuff

ended up running all over my face because I was outside in the heat and it was really

sweaty.

Nothing else did but this did.

I also brought Too Face Shadow Insurance.

I brought my Sigma Gel Liner.

Lipsticks are often where I bring a ton of products.

This time I didn't bring a ton.

I did bring three lip pencils, one is a classic red 69, one is Rush.

The other one is Frenemy which is a neon pink.

On Tuesday I wore Frenemy Lipstick which is the neon pink.

On Wednesday for the event I wore 714 which is a matte red.

Later in the evening on Wednesday I wore I think Lolita lipstick.

Then on Thursday I wore Violate which is like this pinky cream.

I was very proud of myself to limiting myself to four lipsticks and three lip pencils for

a trip.

I did wear them all so I feel completely vindicated in bringing four.

I did bring my Pacifica Lips Like Sugar Lip Scrub which is actually really good, as well

as my Pacifica Persian Cherry Lip Baum.

This basically helped me prep my lips for lipstick so I didn't have any dry patches

which was really nice.

I brought my Urban Decay Brush Case as one of my other little bags and I put all of my

brushes in here.

This just makes it really easy for travel because basically it keeps the brushes safe.

Then whenever you get wherever you're going you can bend the lip down to more easily get

at your brushes.

I love this for travel, I'm so glad I bought this.

I did want to talk a little bit about the event.

The Urban Decay's event for National Dog Day was really awesome.

It was basically from 10-12 and it was at one of the outdoor gardens at the hotel that

I was staying at, the London Hotel West Hollywood.

They basically had everything dog centric.

They had a doggy photographer, they had a doggy masseuse.

They had different little stations set up so that there were dog beds, dog toys, dog

food, doggy pup treats like ice cream ... Sorry, it wasn't ice cream but it was some sort of

popsicles that were safe for dogs to eat, just all kinds of cute stuff set up.

When I was there I hung out with my friend, Emily, from Haus of Hounds.

She brought her dog, Norman.

Norman is adorable.

Other people that I saw there that I knew, I saw Mariah Leonard and I also saw JKissa.

I was too shy to go up to say hi to JKissa.

Even though I've met Mariah Leonard before I didn't say anything to her either, just

... I don't know, I felt like a dork so it was just like I'm not going to go say hi but

I had a really great time at the event.

I will have a ... Actually, by the time this video goes live I should have a blog post

up with pictures and everything so you can check it out.

Anyway yeah, this is what I brought on my trip.

Let me know what you think and how it compares to how you pack for a trip.

Thanks so much for watching.

For more infomation >> What's in My Travel Makeup Bag - Los Angeles - Plus Urban Decay National Dog Day Event - Duration: 5:59.

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jonas/mahdi | what you do - Duration: 1:01.

Jonas and Mahdi

Imagine if they are in a relationship

For more infomation >> jonas/mahdi | what you do - Duration: 1:01.

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What are CAR-T cells? - Duration: 1:45.

For more infomation >> What are CAR-T cells? - Duration: 1:45.

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In a Relationship with a Narcissist? What You Need to Know About Narcissistic Relationships - Duration: 17:42.

In a Relationship with a Narcissist?

What You Need to Know About Narcissistic Relationships

Narcissistic relationships are formed when one or both partners struggle with a narcissistic personality.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is defined by The Mayo Clinic as "a mental disorder in which people have an

inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration.

Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other

people's feelings.

But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism."

We live in an increasingly narcissistic world.

Hard statistics and science are pointing in this direction.

The "look at me" mentality that is often promoted by social networks like Facebook has people positively enamored with

the image they present to the world.

In addition, we may now be seeing the negative effects of the self-esteem movement on a larger scale.

So how does this rise in narcissism impact our personal relationships?

For one thing, more narcissism means more narcissistic relationships.

Professor Brad Bushman of the Ohio State University put it bluntly, when he said:

"Narcissists are very bad relationship partners." Studies show that in a narcissistic relationship,

your partner is more likely to engage in manipulative or game playing behaviors and less likely to be committed

long-term.

A relationship with a narcissist can be hard to cope with.

To shed light on the common outcomes, struggles, and effects of a narcissistic relationship,

we've interviewed psychologist and author Dr. Lisa Firestone.

How Can You Tell if You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship?

When thinking about narcissism, I'm often reminded of the joke when someone goes on and on about themselves,

then interrupts with, "But enough about me, how do you feel about me?" If your partner is all about themselves,

always needing attention and affirmation, he or she may be a narcissist.

If someone is easily slighted or over-reactive to criticism, they may also be a narcissist.

If they feel they are always right, that they know more, or that they have to be the best, etc.,

these are also signs of narcissism.

Narcissistic individuals may only appear to care about you when you are fulfilling their needs or serving a purpose for

them.

A narcissistic relationship can lead to a lot of emotional distress.

It is estimated that around 1% of population suffers from NPD.

However, many people who have NPD do not seek treatment and therefore are never diagnosed.

Studies show that men are more likely to be narcissistic.

Roughly 75% of the individuals diagnosed with NPD are men.

Although almost everyone has some self-centered or narcissistic traits,

most people do not meet the criteria for having a personality disorder.

There is, however, a growing portion of the population that is displaying a greater number of toxic,

narcissistic traits, which are having an adverse effect on their lives and the lives of people close to them,

even if they do not meet the clinical diagnosis of NPD.

Forming attachments to individuals who exhibit these negative traits often causes similar distress as a diagnosable

narcissistic relationship.

A new study from Ohio State University has found that one simple question can identify narcissists as accurately as the

40-item test that has been widely used to diagnose NPD.

The question is simple, rating yourself on a scale of 1-7: "To what extent do you agree with this statement:

I am a narcissist.

(Note: The word 'narcissist' means egotistical, self-focused and vain.)" You can even try out this free interactive

narcissism quiz.

However, while this study suggests that many narcissists will freely admit to their narcissistic tendencies,

it is important to note that most narcissists resist the diagnosis of NPD.

Narcissists, generally, do not like to be told that they are narcissists.

In fact, they often have a strong negative and volatile reaction.

Below are some common traits that a narcissistic relationship partner is likely to have:

(Note the degree to which these traits manifest themselves will vary largely depending on the individual.)

Sense of entitlement or superiority

Lack of empathy

Manipulative or controlling behavior

Strong need for admiration

Focus on getting one's own needs met, often ignoring the needs of others

Higher levels of aggression

Difficulty taking feedback about their behavior

Why do people become narcissistic?

Is it a symptom of something else?

Narcissistic people often have narcissistic parents, who offered them a build up but no real substance.

Their parents wanted them to be great, so they could be the parent of a great person, the best artist,

smartest student, etc.

Often narcissistic people were also neglected, as their parents were so focused on themselves that they could not

attune to their child or meet their child's emotional needs.

The child was only useful to these parents when they were serving a purpose for them.

Often, the parents of a person with NPD alternated between emotional hunger toward the child and disinterest.

Narcissists have inflated self-esteem (both self-soothing and self-aggrandizing "voices") a component of what my

father, Dr. Robert Firestone, refers to as the "anti-self." They are very fragile,

because the flip side of their self-aggrandized feeling is very low self-esteem,

the other component of the anti-self (made up of extremely self-hating and self-demeaning "critical inner voices").

So, for these people, even slight criticism can be a narcissistic injury,

leading to an angry outburst and desperate attempts to regain their fragile, inflated self-esteem.

Often, a condescending remark will help them to reestablish their superior image.

Condescending is a common dynamic in narcissistic relationships.

This behavior can be traced back to the need desperate need narcissists feel to be above others.

What are the different types of Narcissism?

While all narcissists are likely to show certain behaviors, not all narcissists are the same.

In fact, there are two different types of narcissism, Grandiose Narcissism and Vulnerable Narcissism.

These types of narcissism stem from different early childhood experiences andlead to different behaviors in a

relationship.

Grandiose narcissists display high levels of grandiosity, aggression and dominance.

They tend to be more confident and less sensitive.

They are often elitists and have no problem telling everyone how great they are.

Usually grandiose narcissists were treated as if they were superior in their early childhood and they move through life

expecting this type of treatment to continue.

In relationships, grandiose narcissists are more likely to openly engage in infidelity or leave their partners abruptly

if they feel that they are not getting the special treatment that they think they are entitled to.

Vulnerable narcissists, on the other hand, are much more emotionally sensitive.

They have what Dr. Campbell describes as a "fragile grandiosity," in which their narcissism serves as a façade

protecting deeper feelings of inadequacy and incompetence.

Vulnerable narcissists swing back and forth between feeling superior and inferior.

They often feel victimized or anxious when they are not treated as if they are special.

This type of narcissism usually develops in early childhood as a coping mechanism to deal with abuse or neglect.

In relationships, vulnerable narcissists often worry about how their partners perceive them.

They can be very possessive, jealous and paranoid about their partners having flirtations or affairs.

How does a narcissistic partner negatively impact a relationship?

Narcissistic relationships tend to be very challenging.

Narcissistic partners usually have difficulty really loving someone else, because they don't truly love themselves.

They are so focused on themselves that they cannot really "see" their partner as a separate person.

They tend to only see the partner in terms of how they fill their needs (or fail to fill their needs).

Their mates and children are only valued in terms of their ability to meet these needs.

Narcissistic partners often lack the ability to have empathy with their partners' feelings.

This lack of empathy leads to a lot of hard feelings.

Yet many people are drawn to narcissistic relationships.

Narcissistic partners can be very captivating, especially at the beginning.

They tend to have a "big" personality.

They are the life of the party.

They can make you feel that you too must be great for them to choose you.

However, in time, they can be too controlling in relationships.

They may feel jealous or easily hurt.

When narcissistic injuries occur, they often lash out and can be cutting.

Their reactions are dramatic and attention-seeking.

According to narcissistic personality expert, Dr. W. Keith Campbell, "The effects of narcissism are most substantial in

relation to interpersonal functioning.

In general, trait narcissism is associated with behaving in such a way that one is perceived as more likable in initial

encounters with strangers— but this likability diminishes with time and increased exposure to the narcissistic

individual." This is why many people, who have been in a long-term narcissistic relationships,

describe a very passionate and exciting honeymoon period in the beginning and then a sharp decline as the likability

decreases and the self-centered behaviors increase.

Narcissists are prone to falling madly in love with someone instantly and are very quick to commit.

However, this initial love and commitment is not easily sustained.

When you are in a narcissistic relationship, you may feel very lonely.

You might feel like you are just an accessory and your needs and wants are unimportant.

Narcissistic partners act as if they are always right, that they know better and that their partner is wrong or

incompetent.

This often leaves the other person in the relationship either angry and trying to defend themselves or identifying with

this negative self-image and feeling badly about themselves.

What are some things a person can do to deal with a narcissistic partner?

If you find yourself in a narcissism relationship, you can first recognize what you have chosen and reflect on the

unconscious motives that might have led you to choose such a partner.

Did you have a self-centered parent?

Are you more comfortable with your partner being in control, so you can then take be more passive?

Do you get a sense of worth from being attached to someone who is in the spotlight?

Does the negative image of yourself they foster with their criticisms and superior attitudes resonate with your own

critical thoughts about yourself?

Many people who fall in love with narcissists have issues around co-dependency.

They will put up with a certain amount of abuse because they don't feel confident enough in themselves to set

boundaries or be on their own.

Understanding your role in the narcissistic relationship is important.

You can then start to challenge yourself to change your half of the dynamic.

This will, in turn, challenge your partner to change their style of relating.

You can recognize the fragility of your partner's self-esteem and have compassion for the fact that his or her inflated

sense of self, superiority and grandiosity is a cover up for the flip side of self-hate and feelings of inadequacy.

You can also develop your own self-confidence and self-worth by learning to practice self-compassion.

Don't be a victim.

In all encounters, act equal, and treat your partner as an equal.

How can people face and overcome their own narcissism?

A narcissist can challenge and overcome their narcissism by recognizing and separating from both the self-soothing,

self-aggrandizing and self-attacking attitudes of their critical inner voice.

The attitudes they internalized very early on in their lives.

They need to recognize and challenge these attitudes toward themselves and toward others.

One method for doing this is through Voice Therapy.

Narcissists further need to differentiate from negative traits of their parents or early caretakers that they are still

acting out in their current lives.

These traits might include superior attitudes or condescending behaviors.

They also need to give up the adaptations they made to the ways their own parents neglected them or were emotionally

hungry toward them.

These adaptations may have once been their survival mechanisms, but they now manage to push others away and sabotage

personal lives and goals.

Narcissists also need to break patterns of being self-centered or withholding.

They must fight the tendency to always compare themselves to others and the need to be the "best" or "perfect" all the

time.

Another way to cure narcissism is to foster self-compassion rather than self-esteem.

Psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff has done extensive research on self-esteem versus self-compassion.

The difference between self-esteem and self-compassion is that self-esteem centers on evaluating yourself in relation

to others and emphasizes a need to be special.

While self-compassion focuses on "treating oneself with kindness, recognizing one's shared humanity,

and being mindful when considering negative aspects of oneself." Dr. Neff's studies have found that self-esteem leads

to higher levels of narcissism, but self-compassion does not.

Self-compassion actually combats narcissism because it includes the idea of a shared humanity with all other human

beings, which leads to more compassion for others.

Self-compassion also fosters real self-awareness, a trait many narcissists lack,

as it promotes that we be mindful of our faults, which is the first step to changing negative traits in yourself.

For there to be any hope of recovering a good relationship from a narcissistic relationship,

the narcissist must overcome their self-centered and negative traits.

They need to challenge their self-feeding habits and pseudo-independent stance.

They need to focus on developing their capacity for empathy and respect of others.

Lastly, they need to develop transcendent goals, to care about and invest in others' well-being.

Being generous and giving to others are examples of behaviors that would be corrective,

building real self-esteem and practicing focusing outside of oneself.

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