... I basically killed a drug addict
Hi my name is Paula Vender and today I'll tell you... I kind of difficult story
We can discuss it. I really want you to go to comment section and tell me what would you do in that situation
As you may or may not know I'm Straight Edge which means I don't smoke cigarettes..
I don't drink alcohol, I don't take drugs. I'm anti-addictions, clean life and stuff
I do everything and everything that is possible to stay healthy and to live as long as possible, because I have really bad health and...
I believe that you only live once (YOLO :D)
So you need to take care of your life because one day you're going to lose it
So I kind of feel difficult about this situation, but...
It all started with me moving to a different place. I'm in a different apartment
My neighbors were kind of noisy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
So I decided to buy earplugs, these things you put in your ears to not hear your neighbors that are "noisy"
Obviously I forgot about it. I was like "I need to buy earplugs" and then I forgot about it.
And when I was about to go to sleep I reminded myself "Oh I won't be able to sleep because it's too loud"
Because I'm used to sleeping in complete silence in a private house and living in an apartment...
Surrounded by different apartments is something new to me I have never heard neighbors before doing "something"
And my mother wanted to buy some medicine, I think, so we decided to drive to pharmacy/drugstore opened 24/7
To buy those things... So we went in and there was a line of few people. Mostly old people buying medicines and stuff
But there was this young man. He was less than 30 I think.
And he looked normal. But he was... He had a weird facial expression
He looked like he was kind of scared, like he felt bad. He was nervous or anxious
But he looked normal. He was dressed in normal clothes, he didn't look like a homeless person.
It was just something weird about him that made him look like he's not ok
And so we were standing in the line and this weird guy was in front of me. So the line moves, and the guy...
And the man asked the pharmacy lady (drugstore worker) for needles
And I was like "Oh maybe he has diabetes and he needs to have injections"
The needles for injections are super cheap, very, very cheap, it's way less then a dollar
In my country at least. It's very cheap and easy to buy them you just need to tell what size you want
It's very small amount of money, but he looked at me and started to go through his pockets
And he realized he doesn't have enough money. Seriously it was just like 20 cents that he needed
But he didn't have it. That suprised me because like I said he didn't look homeless. He looked like a normal person.
So he asked me if I can give him some money so he can buy those needles
I was like "Ok, I guess?" and then he did something that he shouldn't have done...
Because if he just asked me for some money I'd be like "Whatever dude, if you need them ok. I'm gonna buy them for you"
Maybe he needs them really badly because it's for his health. I was looking at him and I realized he's shaking
So I assumed that he needs some medicine, because he was like shaky and he looked very anxious
I thought he obviously if needs something like medicine I'm gonna give him money
But then he did something that changed the situation completely, because he said...
"I'm gonna be honest with you. I need them for this..."
And he literally pulled out a bag of white substance (powder) that looked like heroin...
Cocaine, or something like that... And he discreetly, so nobody else can see it, showed it to me
And said "I need it for this. I really need it, so please buy those needles for me"
And I was like "Fcuk! You could have just pretend that you need medicine"
And now... I bought needles for a drug addict... And now I feel like I basically...
Ruined someone's life. I helped you ruin your life by buying you needles so you can inject this shit into your veins and probably die
So I came back home, went to bed and I've put those earplugs in and...
It was peaceful, quiet but I couldn't fall asleep anyway because I felt like I killed a person
I literally may have killed this man
He was literally shaking, he needed another dose of those drugs, another injection
And I gave it to him. I didn' buy him drugs, he probably didn't have any money because he spent it all on drugs
So he couldn't even afford a fucking needle
I basically helped him with his addiction and I feel so fucking bad about it
And my mother was standing right next to me but she didn't say anything. She just looked at me
We were both shocked.
I feel shitty about myself and it's been like 2 months and i still...
I don't know... I still don't feel good with it... That I did it
But at the same time if I said no... If I said "I can't buy you those needles, go away"
Then I don't know what he would do. Like I said he was very anxious so he could have hurt me, punch me in the face
If I said no... He really looked like he needed another dose of those drugs.
So I basically killed a drug addict... Probably
I feel great with my life
Tell me what you think in the comment section...
I'm really curious to know, so...
Anyways. See you in the next video. Bye

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