What would Jesus do in your difficult relationship? Have you ever asked
yourself that? Remember when we used to wear years ago that little bracelet--
that's a WWJD what would Jesus do? Ask yourself that when you're in your
difficult relationship. But I'm going to guess that you might have some
misconceptions and some wrong ideas about what Jesus would do seeing that's
from my experience personally and from working with thousands of Christians in
difficult relationships and seeing that they have some common misconceptions
about who Jesus was and what He did. They see Him as this passive weakling who
just allowed people to abuse Him and walk on Him and do whatever they wanted
to do and it's not true. That's not at all true, so I don't think Jesus would do
that in your difficult relationship. So let's look at some examples. In Matthew
14:13 and 23, Jesus withdrew from the crowds who needed His ministry, His
healing. Imagine if you tend to be codependent and you want to fix
everybody.You know at what point would you leave the crowd to go eat and rest
and pray and take care of yourself? Well Jesus would. He would you know walk away
from just everywhere He went there were people were there and sometimes He would
just say, "That's enough, I need to go." He took care of His own physical and
spiritual needs, His own relationship needs. The next one is that Jesus
withdrew when men were trying to hurt Him when it was not God's appointed time
for His Him to die and that's where we get messed up because we think, "Oh
Jesus came and He was abused on the cross and killed. And He allowed Himself,
you know He gave His life for other people and that's what I need to do."
Different situation. That was His calling. That was God saying, "I'm going to use
this to save the world from their sins." And it was only at the appointed time
when Jesus allowed them to take Him because that was God's timing that He
did that. Other times when they came after Him, He would leave, He would slip
away from the town, go somewhere else to take care of Himself. He didn't just
allow them to do anything and everything they wanted to do to Him. One example of
that was Matthew 12 14 -15 when the Pharisees were plotting to kill Him
and He left. The next one is that Jesus disobeyed authority to obey God and
that's Luke 2:41-52. He was a child. He was 12 years old and He was
under the authority of His parents and He stayed behind in the temple when His
parents left town, knowing that He was supposed to go with
them. And when they realized He was gone, they came back and they said, "What are
you doing?" and He said, "I'm taking care of my Father's business."
I'm not sure at that
time if they really knew who His Father was. If it was, if what they were thinking
He meant Joseph or God. Probably not really. So Mary pondered those things in
her heart and they listened. I'm not sure they really understood everything at
that point. So He disobeyed the authority of His parents to do what He
was there for which was to you know do what God wanted Him to do. The next one
is Jesus confronted a man who slapped Him.This was when He was before
the high priest and the man slapped him in John:18:22 - 23. Instead of
just turning His other cheek and saying, "Slap me here. Slap me here," you know Jesus
turned around and looked at him and said, "Why'd you hit me? What'd I do?"
So He confronted him and so that is not passive and that doesn't mean that
no matter what anybody does to us that we just say, "Okay, hit us again. Hit me
again." You don't do this: take this take that. So Jesus confronted him and then
the next one is that Jesus was amazingly confrontational. I even tell
people, "Don't confront quite as strongly as Jesus. He did not mince words whether
it was the disciples, his followers, sinful people, people that he was
confronting with their for their own sin calling them to repentance and the
Pharisees. In Matthew 23:1 - 33, go read through that. Those are like the
seven woes that He says to the Pharisees. He calls them names: whitewashed tombs and
tells them their sons are the devil and Jesus gets right into it and He uses all
kinds of descriptor words that just pierced
the heart. Very confrontational, not a passive weakling. The next one is John 2:22,
John 2:24 -25, it says that Jesus knew what was in the heart of those people
that He was dealing with. He did not need anybody to say, "Oh this person is trying
to trick you, this person is trying to you know this Pharisee is asking you
a tough question because he wants you to you know make you perjure yourself or to say
something that's confusing or not true that they can accuse you of. Jesus knew
exactly who He was dealing with. He was smart. So we've got to do that in our
relationships. We have to say, "Hey, what is this person's problem?What is this
person's pattern? What is this person's typical behavior? How does this person
typically react, so that we can make wise decisions when we are dealing with that
person. The next one is that Jesus did not let the fear of people control His
actions and He was explaining that to the disciples.
Matthew 10:26 - 28 about not letting the fear of man to keep you from
doing what you know is right. So Jesus was worried about pleasing God, not
pleasing men so He didn't allow that fear to dictate His choices like some of
us do and I've done in difficult relationships.
Jesus was flexible and not rule-based and one of the things that happens in
our dysfunctional relationships is we get very rule-based and very strict and
very rigid and Jesus was not that way. In Matthew 12:1 - 8, the disciples
were picking grain on the Sabbath and the Pharisees were trying to figure out how
they could trick Jesus and so and and say you're doing what's wrong if they
said, "Hey, your disciples are sinning. They're picking grain on the Sabbath. Why
are you letting them do that?" And Jesus basically said, "Hey you know what, that's
okay. They're hungry. They need to eat and I'm more than the Sabbath. I'm not going to
stick to these rigid rules that harm people and try to judge and do these
things that are not loving and caring." So Jesus was not rule-based; He was very
flexible. So do any of these truths surprise you when you think about Jesus?
I know they are different than how I used to see Jesus, like in my early 20's
when I had this inaccurate picture of Jesus just being this passive tolerant
doormat and that's not true. So when you think about how to respond
in your difficult relationship and how you are responding, think about these
truths and start to model your choices according to how Jesus would act in your
difficult relationship.Thank you for watching this video on Change My
Relationship.
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