Hello, Dan and Phil Games incomple-
(Dan wtf is that noise)
Ooh, you see what I did there?
I see what you did there, Phil
P: What a trickster D:You did a thing that wasn't complete.
I did a thing that wasn't complete.
Which is what this game is all about
Like my soul
It's another Google thing!
Woo!
I love seeing what people search for
Not (Phil laughs)
Cause it's always really weird
It is
It makes me sit up at 3 A.M
going why is it all poop, sex, and death
Well, I'm hoping it's not going to be poop, sex, and death today
and we're going to get some insight into humanity
so let's play Google Incomplete Game!
Is that what it's called?
Well, it's called "Idiot Stop Win" but that doesn't make any sense
The Google Incomplete Game?
They need some better branding
Oh! AUTO-COMPLETE Game!
That makes more sense.
There we go.
Yeah, that kinda makes sense.
So how does this differ from the other things?
Basically, we've got to vote which one we think is the best
Right!
Or the top result
So, for example, here, what is Google's top result for
'help my p'
Again, this is wrong cause 'penis' is not one of the options
Oh, wow.
HELP, MY PENIS!
P: Is that something you search a lot? D: To do what?
Yeah, HELP IT! PLEASE!
P: Help, my puppy eats poop. D: No.
Help, my puppy has diarrhea
My phone is hacked
Phone is hacked
I think that- No, how many people have pools?
Not that many people have pools.
How many people have puppies, okay, well, I think it's phone
But I don't think it's hacked cause no one gets their phone hacked regularly
I think it's the puppy has diarrhea.
I think it's phone.
Oh.
DRAMAATTIIICCC MUSICCCCC
Well what happens now?
Fight
Alright, well, I'll let you do this one Phil
Okay. Your vote is
I'm thinking it's puppy diarrhea
You think people can spell diarrhea?
NO!
Okay, I'm gonna go with 'help, my phone'
WHAT?
YES!
How did you- ugh, I guess that's the obvious one.
That's the game, okay
(Knuckle-cracking)
Are you ready? Oh, that was... No.
You're banned from doing that on this channel.
That was a good one.
Oh dear. I apologize.
D: Number two. Why can't I cry? P: Why can't I poop?
My soul is in so much pain.
And I don't have nearly enough fiber
Why are cats better than dogs?
One of the questions of the ages. Who's typing that?
I will find you, I will kick you.
Why can't I poop?
Is an issue people have.
Cats? I don't know what catfish in hockey.
Why cats purr? I'm gonna go with that
NO! Oh shoot. Okay
I think it's why can't I poop
WHY?
It was closer though!
It was closer, alright.
I think
Why can't I cry?
Really?
Okay, that one.
Do not tell me... Why cats are better than dogs?
(Dan's inner torment)
Oh, it's the weird hockey one
that we don't understand
Why catfish in hockey
that's just loads of words that I don't know what they mean
As if there's more people things searching things about hockey than cats
Yeah! And crying and pooping!
Is Bigfoot real?
I mean...
I dunno, I mean, look at, is big chief still married?
All these little things
It's gotta be is Bigfoot real
YES!!
P: I knew it! D: Conspiracy theories.
Do you think Bigfoot is real? No.
P: I mean - D: What is Bigfoot? P: They found - D: A yeti in the woods? No.
P: It's a big hairy man, they've found giant footprints and they've seen outlines of giant humans.
P: He could be there. D: And what about the Loch Ness Monster, Phil?
That's- I think that's an elephant
(record scratching)
No seriously!
There was a picture of the Loch Ness Monster
and people are saying there might be an elephant that's escaped from the zoo
around the same time. For like what a hundred years?!
No, no its trunk is in the water looking like the Loch Ness Monster in pictures
And how do you explain people seeing the Loch Ness Monster for longer than an elephant's been alive
Cause it's had babies!
With what other elephants?
Well, it was pregnant
It's an asexual elephant?
No, it was pregnant.
No, it was pregnant when it escaped and then the babies made babies with each other
which is a little bit incesty
But I think that's what the Loch Ness Monster is
And then the clone of Avril Lavigne
(Phil giggles sheepishly)
Don't get me started
And the file full of Mandela Effect spelling mistakes
(No) Of various brands, like Fruit Loops- No, Phil.
No.
Either that or it's a liopleurodon
Can I be a Jew?
You can be a Jew? You can be a Jew.
Can you be a Jedi? Yes.
Can I be a journalist with an English degree?
I think it's gonna be can I be a jockey
I think lots of people want to ride horses
as a ambition
That's my choice, just select it
More people than you think are going 'Oh God what am I doing with my life'
'I have to go to college what do I do, I guess I'm good at English what can you do with that'
'Well I guess, I, I have a tumblr, I'm a blogger, I'm basically news'
I can be a journa-SHIT
Ha, take that in the ear
I'm gonna do- Oh.
Jedi.
A Jew!
Really? They want to be Jews. Well, there we go.
More popular than Star Wars.
My boyfriend can't
Whoa, I don't know if we can have this one on the channel.
That's censorino. Yeah, okay, censor that.
Well what about get me off? That's okay. We can keep that. That's like the same thing in a less vulgar way
The other one is tickle my bum, if you're wondering what it says. That's what it is
I'm gonna say dance because a lot of people can't dance.
Like me.
No. Oh.
What do you think?
Is it the one that we've blurred?
Is it?
I think it is.
No! It's not.
Okay, okay.
D: Men being unable to- P: Do things- D: Finish a lady's - P: Stop it! D: ...process.
(alien noise)
P: Process?! D: I WAS CENSORING IT! P: You're gonna get us flagged!
Right, get me off is the same thing
There we go, right.
The same thing.
Are your parents Santa? No.
They are not.
And anyone that thinks that is just beyond any kind of magic.
Are your parents Santa?
Well it's people googling...Who's the your? Google?
Is Google's parents Santa?
Hello Google, are your parents Santa?
Beep boop boop. Yes
Are your parents beavers cause damn
Ba dum tuss
Oh. I mean that would satisfy the quota for the last question
Are your pants a compressed file?
Because I'd like to unzip them
Ba dum tshh
Oh! I didn't know that one!
Yep
Are your photos on your sim card
or are your parents strict
I'm gonna go with the
The chat-up line. It has to be beavers cause damn.
Come on please
NO! What is wrong with people?
No, that's not what I chose, I'm choosing the sim card cause I think people are boring.
No, but closer.
It's not gonna be compressed file cause that's like the other chat up line
Yeah. But is even nerdier
Parents strict.
ehh. Santa.
We're so bad at this.
Santa. Right.
So many people are googling that!
Let me tell you, he's real. I saw the bells and heard the sleigh.
No one watching this is three, Phil
They might be.
D: I think that we can say that Santa- P: NOOOOO!!!!
P: WHAT ARE YOU- D: Is Avril Lavigne's clone.
What did you think I was gonna say?
Oh.Yes. There is an elephant. Mandela.
And is really hairy and goes in the woods with Nelson Mandela. Santadela Effect.
Can I shoot my gun in the woods?
No.
Myself if this video keeps going on?
Um.
Can I shoot my dog?
WHO'S GOOGLING THAT?
The cat people from the first question. Oh my gosh.
We found you.
D:You horrible people. P: We've gone into the disturbing part of Google.
Can I shoot in my backyard in North Carolina?
That is so North Carolina
*Southern American accent* CAN I SHOOT ON MY PROPERTY?
No.
*Bad American accent* CAN I SHOOT MY DOG?
Nope.
*Southern American accent* CAN I SHOOT IN MY BACKYARD IN NORTH CAROLINA
It's the gun in the woods.
Why do people? Do they just want to go hunting and playing with guns?
They want to go kill an owl.
Guns are bad.
Don't kill owls.
Are rocks
ALIVE?!! (rip headphone users)
Are rocks alive?
I love that two people are like 'are rocks and minerals the same thing cause I'm like studying for my biology course'
I love this concept!
And everyone else is like ARE ROCKS ALIVE? IS THE GROUND FEELING?
I want to think people are asking if rocks are alive
Wait
YES!
So many people think rocks are alive!
Three of those were the same thing and you just went for it Phil, that was brash
But still.
Do you think rocks are alive?
They might be how do you know they're not?
They might just be moving really slowly
What is life?
I mean all biological entities are just trying to reproduce -yes- and keep a life going and
The only thing that separates us from plants is just that we're just more complicated and unlike a plant
Dan, you're making me dizzy, stop.
which just tries to pollinate and photosynthesize to keep its life going we have this complicated brain all these feelings and blah blah blah
But what is a plant different to a rock that just is
Well do you want me to break your mind?
According to science, fire follows every single part of being alive.
It reproduces, it eats
D: By definition, it eats. P: Yes!
Yes, it does all of the things. Fire is alive.
Whatever, shut up.
Go sit in the woods.
Are ghosts real?
No.
It's gotta be ghosts, come on.
Are grits gluten free?
Are grapes good for you?
No, you know, grapes, man
They will mess you up.
Get more than two grapes in a day, you will die.
Ghosts!
Yes!
Ghosts are real at least.
But I wanted to contemplate genetically modified things.
Okay, well lets not do that today
ARE THERE ANY GAMES ON TODAY?
Are there any gay country singers?
Are there any gas stations near me?
Just a valid question
Good movies out?
That's like asking a friend. Are there any good viruses?
What?
Have you got bird flu? Love it.
I think that's a hacker that's talking there, not someone that wants bird flu.
Do you reckon? Are there any good viruses? Can you get me a virus that just like answers my emails for me?
I think it's gas stations
I would download that
No. Gay country singers.
Phil, let's discuss these, okay?
Sport or movies?
Sports.
Yes. It was the sports.
Why are white?
I don't know Phil, why do you exist?
Ba dum tsss
White lighters bad luck, white blood cells high, white blood cells low
Rhinos? Endangered? Aw. Because of horrible people.
Don't poach the rhinos with your guns in the woods
And protect the environment.
Why are blight sud cells important?
Did you just say blight wood cells?
Blight! Blight wood cells!
BLIGHT CLOOD WELLS!
Ok
Uh, white rhinos.
No!
I think it's important.
Noo!
We're so bad at this.
Why ARE white lighters bad luck?
I don't know
Are gamers good in bed?
Cause baby, I play a lot of League of Legends
I have hand cramp, but good reactions
What are you talking about?
You can't just categorize people into certain groups and say that they're good at certain things
Well, is someone that plays video games, ergo, someone that challenges themselves, at thinking and reaction speed, gonna be better at sleeping
Which is obviously what that's talking about. Maybe, maybe they will be good at... sleeping faster.
Problem solving. Are gamers nerds? Nothing wrong with being a nerd
What is a nerd?
Sexist, lazy, or smarter?
D: Seems like a lot of insecure teenage boys have been on google here. P: Aw, don't be insecure!
Look, you can be good in bed just like League of Legends.
And you can watch Star Trek and you can respect women and all genders and be proactive in your life and enjoy some casual video games on the weekend and do good in school.
I'm gonna go... nerds.
Believe in yourselves.
Yes.
The answer to that one is yes, gamers are nerds. I could tell that.
MY MIND IS BEING CONTROLLED
What is that for?
It's the same people that are googling about the conspiracies.
Oh my gosh
Illuminati.
We just need some tinfoil hats for this video.
My mind is better than everybody
Well that's a bit of a megalomaniac there
BETTER THAN EVERYONE
My mind is becoming dull
Oh no
You need to get on the gaming.
My mind is being controlled
That is the same as the first one
DAN .. GET.. ME.. A.. RIBENA
It is the same as the first one
GO .. GET .. ME .. SOME.. SNACKS
Did you get that? I heard something really weird?
Oh, look where this came from
This is so miraculous
Phil was like, I want some snacks, and I was like, okay we're filming some gaming videos
Phil filled what, an entire tub of tang fast sticks
I mean, it's necessary
I think it's 'my mind is being controlled'
boop!
ohhhh
millennials are killing lunch?
The yiff industry.
What.
Millennials are most of the yiff industry.
Millennials are killing the movie business.
Napkins? By torrenting things. And Netflix. Oh.
Department stores. Definitely. Cause I never go outside and buy things.
But are millennials killing department stores because we like to buy things over the internet?
The world. The internet is just killing the world.
Or has the world just moved on and stores are shit?
Lunch? How are we killing lunch? Sorry, I mean, I love lunch and no one's taking that away from me.
Oooh. Department stores.
Oooh. Lunch!
Oooh! Napkins!
Napkins?
I don't understand what that means.
D: Phil, what's your problem with napkins? P: I like napkins. Good for wiping my mouth.
Is this fabric softener?
Google, person typing on keyboard, is... this.. fabric softener?
Just pouring Persil all over their laptop as they type it.
Is this for real meme?
Is that you Dan?
Is this for real?
Ooh! Fabric softener! It made me laugh the most!
Ooh. I think it's people going what's the day.
Aargh! Is this for real? What does that mean?
It's people searching the meme without meme.
What's wrong Dan?
I'm just wondering who's typing all these things.
Are we reaching the end of the tunnel?
Is it a bored teenager questioning their reality?
A crazy person that likes to murder dogs, shoot guns, and question what's up with millennials?
Or is it someone that's just like 'IS FABRIC SOFTENER REAL' 'YETI TINFOIL HAT'
I think it's just a nice selection of the world
I mean, you're either a bored teenager, a grumpy old crazy person, or a conspiracy theorist, which one are you?
All of the above!
I'll prove this with the next one.
The next one, and I will do like two more cause this is gonna make me start being like 'Who am I sharing society with'
Okay.
I'm getting a bit scared.
Why are b
Barns red?
Why are barns red?
I dunno, Phil.
They don't really match the environment they're in, do they?
No, they don't.
They could be green.
The aesthetic though.
Why are beets good for you?
Why? Why are books banned?
Why are butterfly knives illegal?
There's your weird guy.
And why are bees important?
Well, there we go. Bees are important.
And I know why. Why, Phil? Because they pollinate all the flowers.
Stop colony collapse disorder!
Someone told me it was mobile phones.
Cause they don't like the signals and they stop humming.
Okay, so bees are important, conspiracy,
Why are butterfly knives illegal? Is the violent, crazy person.
And, hm. I'm gonna say it's barns red.
Cause that is a- yes! I have faith in humanity!
I'm so good at this game! Humanity restored, it was not one of the weird ones!
D: Yes! P: Last one, last one.
P: Is Africa a country? D: No, my friends.
Is ain't a word?
D: Yes? P: It ain't.. Yeah, ain't is a word.
Is the thumb a finger?
WHOOOAHHHH
It's a thumb!
This video, I thought it was going to be more freaking out about what people are saying, but these are just really interesting questions.
Good questions.
This game should have a feature where next to it it goes 'by the way, africa isn't a country, ain't is a word, a thumb isn't a finger, archer is not dead, and peanuts are a nut, thank you bye'
Is a peanut a nut? Well, I feel like that is the most obvious one.
A peanut is a nut, right?
YESSS!!! (happy children yelling)
I am the king of this game!
And, if we go up to the top, and look at our rating system, which we were hiding,
we'll find that we only failed three, six bad, two good, four great, and eight perfect!
We know Google more than Google knows you!
We know Yougle!
You-Yougle.
Yougle.
Google.
Closing thoughts, Phil?
I feel like we dived into the pool of humanity and I don't know if we're going to climb back out again.
Do I like doing these kinds of videos?
I like doing these videos!
It gives me too much to think about!
It gives us an excuse to talk about the world, and peanuts, and barns
But now I'm just gonna go google all of these things and add to it and then be like what is wrong with people?
And tag yourself in the comments below, angry crazy person, conspiracy theorist, or sad person googling for help
Let us know.
So give us a thumbs up
Unless it's a finger
If you enjoyed this
Moving on
Our last video is over there, if you want us to do this again, let us know, my channel's here, Dan's channel's there
Subscribe, and goodbye you bunch of weirdos on the internet.
(Phil makes mini-explosion noise)
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