It's a beautiful beard you got there thanks to respect the beard yeah, oh?
Well it's good man it looks like, from the coaching, group, things are trying to pick up for you, is that true
you know a lot of it is the a lot of
Background, stuff the networking
putting, myself out there and
you know the youtube channel
You know a lot of that stuff is just
It's all the stuff to really get yourself out there and just you know. Make yourself known
It hasn't transitioned to dollars and cents yet
but you know i haven't
you know i've had people start approaching me matter of fact i was in the gym yesterday i had two men
Approached me one was talking about how. You know the conversation started with
Curiosity, about health coaching, and life coaching, because he, feels, like he's got something to give
And but the way, he what he was talking, about he kind of lowered his head and is like but. You know i'm a
Felon so i got that going against, me i was like
no
No, that's actually, awesome like, awesome but
that
Helps, you like i said how. Many other felons are out there
Lots, okay i said i could promise you the majority of us that are health and life coaches
We're not unscathed, my friend
Through it too you know, we have our house you know we've got our luggage but, that's what, makes us
You know that that's what allows us to help, other people is because we've been there we've done that it's not like
prime example that is going to i
Worked at salvation army for a, while and a lot of guys they didn't
They, didn't really respect the administrators i did a couple speeches for him a couple motivated motivational speeches for him as
The son that was affected by
You know the family member that was affected by addiction and?
you
know i had i had guys come up to me and tell
Me that the i've spoken to them on a level that nobody's ever spoken them on you know
This is not too long after i was kicked out of the military like
You know so yeah, that's powerful, yeah just because you're you know. You're you're not perfect
And you're human, doesn't mean that you know. You're not you can't you can't help somebody get your tough time see
Yeah, i see that a lot i get that you know. A lot of people it's been similar for me starting up i just launched
The coaching business full-time, back in october and it's been slow. And steady i'm doing all the background, work, people are starting, ask, questions
you know people are
slowly, trickling into you know, my world and
That's feeding, me you know i see it growing but i get a lot of those same type people would say
Oh, i wish i could do that
Yeah, why can't you know, what you have, life, experience i'm sure you apply, somewhere yeah but
So i wanted to talk today about your posts that you shared the other day i've
Gotten a lot of the same responses from people you said, something i'll probably misquote she but you said something, along the lines of
somebody on your feed
Said, oh so people pay you money to be their friend right
it was
Along, those, lines he basically said
You know they don't need, a coach they need a firm yeah
Well of course how, long how'd that sit with you, well
Where's, we all need friends?
but a
friend to come things one a
friend
Sometimes might not tell you what
We need, to hear now i am one of those friends that will tell you what you need to hear yes what you know
your friends that may be doing some of the things that you're doing and
And having some of the same issues that you're having
If they're, going through the same thing how
Are they going to help you coach comes in now a coach can actually coach has the tools
To, help you get out of your, own way?
You know some of us say some of the life experiences to help you get out of your, own way talking to these guys
Yesterday through messages i was talking to my former self, and that was part of the reason, why i'm so calm
about it yeah a lot of us in the military that were you in
No i was a firefighter for a long time but i chose that
okay
Good even in the
I'm sure even in and you know as a first responder as a firefighter you see some of the same stuff
Where people are so closed-minded
Absolutely because it's the firefighter way or the marine corps way or the highway, yeah, that's it
You know, and that's exactly? You know if the four guys you know the one, who, was my, mother-in-law. She's joking around
But the four guys that
That had negative things to say
all marines
All people are served with, not surprising so it's not that
You know i totally understand and one of them said, that he got offended and you know the thing is it's not that
i'm not saying that in a in a
Offensive tall i'm just i mean there's things
We understand listen first things about you know being a financial adviser i don't understand i'm not gonna get offended because they tell
me i don't understand
yeah
Yeah, it was the same when i left the fire service you know. I did that for 14 years and
Those guys i had with, my wife and i had specific goals and dreams and things, we wanted to live out and they're like
What are you gonna do you can't do that you can't do this like
well watch me
Exactly so it's it's you know if you have something that you're going, after you can't, allow
Somebody, else's limiting beliefs to hold, you back right exactly yeah
If you know actually i had the same
Situation happened when i was leaving one you know one of the gyms that i was actually an employee, people honest personal trainer and?
when i started
Saying that we'll were friends and then he went straight into
but i don't think you can, do
well two things
Not close enough friends obviously because you don't know, me very, well thank you right
but -
You just feel
my Fire because i'm one of those people you tell me i can't do something i get the watch me mentality that's it yeah i mean
There's almost, sometimes there's nothing, better it's not always what you need, but sometimes that's what you need mm-hmm and
Those guys, did the same thing to me man they fueled my
You know my progress my
Ambition, my drive they were saying and then a year or so after i left
They, are all calling, me messaging me saying hey, i want to do this how, do you do it how
Do you, do that how. Like how, does all this happen for you so they're at
They're, asking me how, to do it after they told me i couldn't, do it so i always get a kick out of that mm-hmm
yeah i
Seen i've seen a saying
Somewhere and i'm probably, gonna, miss cold it also like but i had something to do with
You know first they're, going to laugh at. You, yep then they're, gonna, ask, you how. You did it
Sorry, i had to let the dog in yeah, that's exactly what they're, gonna, do that's exactly what, they did?
And that's it's normal?
well in
I've had similar situations and just various areas of?
Fitness whether it's you know, somebody getting into
Competing for the first time
And getting you know blowback from family
or
You know just wanting to start going to a, gym in general
You know, and what i've seen is?
they, throw, stone
because
When you start doing something different than, what people are used to that you're starting to speak a different language
Oh, yeah!
You know that's kind of like dropping off in the middle of france or middle of russia i'm not gonna understand a word they're saying
the language
Right right it's a similar situation, but the thing is a lot of times they, say
They, understand and they say they know, what you know, what's going on?
But they still have a negative negative opinion, about it instead of doing thorough research
You know so?
Then it goes back to the financial adviser thing sure yeah
And being a financial adviser one of my good friends as a financial adviser i don't understand anything he does that
Was that was one of our things in the fire department i was an officer and also an instructor and when?
we would teach the new, guys coming on
One of my things was if you don't know, what you're doing it'll get somebody
That does right if you're on a call and we say?
Or i say i want this done i want that means i want it done now?
Not 10 minutes after you try to figure it out so if you, can't do it tell me you
Can't do it or find one of the other guys that can help you or that will show
You, how or do it for you even i don't even care but when it needs to be done it needs to be done
people oftentimes i think
They, don't take that approach to life that you know
They, always think, well i can, figure this out i can do this and that's a good mentality to have but there's like
We have more knowledge more access more information than we've ever had before and we're getting we're slowly getting
Lazier and dumber and you know. Just less productive as a, whole usual people just need to learn to reach out or
Ask, for help so
Every time i have something i can't figure out i reach out to people around, me like you you know, we're going
Through, the same thing i haven't exactly figured out, how
To, combat these things like, you don't need, life coaches, well obviously
Somebody, does or there wouldn't be so many of them right right
and that's
You know the fire department military the same way, where you know
Young, young, buck comes through, young pfc lance or whatever
And he's trying to figure something out?
You know geo is going to tell him figure it out mm-hmm
Handle it you know
where that's a good
That's a good straining piece for when you're in because it teaches you to think on your feet and i get it but?
The thing, is that that starts a closed minded approach to a lot of things
and you know one of them being, new things something that's different and
and scary because
You, shouldn't be telling me how, to live my life
That's not it at all actually i'm not done yeah you like i'm helping you
help, yourself
Live a better life
Yeah, that's it man just
asking the right questions guide you through the process you know based on
My, experience my knowledge and people think a lot of times that, oh you, went to some course now
You're, a coach, well how
Many, how, many other things in life, qualify you to coach somebody, write all the things you've been through your trials your tribulations
i've had tons of my
Own coaches myself i've invested in that for years it hasn't always been like a life or
Lifestyle coach but i've had business coaches i've, had archery coaches i've, had coaches in the gym, before i started training people myself
Had sport coaches right you know. Your mentors and the military for you or the fire service for me they're
Coaches that's what they, do yeah just because it's a. New title. And there's just like, weird connotation, like, people always say
How, people in la that have dogs in the purse need. A life coach on me a, life coach right like, that so
always, makes me laugh like, well are you, where you, want to be
well
yeah, really, oh do you, think you need i
Don't know. Oh all right maybe, some coaching, would work for you, yeah are you happy, yeah yeah
Anywhere you are want to be in your job and your weights in your
financial situation
Relationships whatever i mean there's coaches for everything right we're, not i'm not saying every coach can, do all of those things but
You, always find help
Yeah, yeah, and that's you know. Health coaching, life coaching i mean you know
you, talk, about football coach and basketball coach and baseball coach and
gymnastics coach and cheerleading coach and
You know but the thing, is that the two things that people have the hardest time with
Their personal health mm-hmm and life in general
yeah, because
You know to put it in football terms life is gonna put you on a fourth intendent a lot of different situations
Clear back on your own goal line i think, oh, my, god i'm about to get a safety
They're, about to destroy, me and i'll just get pummeled. Oh yeah the world's gonna end as far as you're concerned right you know
In but that's where the health and life coach comes in is one you know
the health coaching for me for me health, and life coaching are one of the same that's how, i'm running it and
Because to lead to a healthy life, and have a good life, you need to have a good a good nutrition
Base you know sure you can, go have your pits and drinking beer occasionally you know whatever
But they have a good, basis for you know, optimal nutrition
In some of these ailments start to go
Away, and then fix themselves and diabetes won't be an issue and you know and sometimes i know it's genetics and sometimes people have
The diabetes issue
Natural you got a friend of mine at the gym, who he's just shredded as hell, as big as, hell
But he has diabetes he's he's clean eats clean or whatever but
You know so sometimes that's you know genetic issue bernard but if you
Do take it further the thing is your nutrition actually affects you on a genetic level
right and
So you know the health coaching has got to take place to help, help, people lead a
More healthy, life but even more so than just nutrition and exercise
To lead a healthy life it also
Means your mentality has got to be healthy if you're negative about everything you
Love, me in an early grave because you are stressing
Everything you know, we all have those family members, we all have those people in our life, and just like that, oh yeah drama
You know but the thing is a lot of those people are gonna put themselves in an early grave you know
But but that's the reality, life coaching plays right into that, where
Life is going to throw. Situations at us
We aren't gonna have a. Clue how, to deal with, my, dad my dad i
How, do you how, do you, deal with that that's that's rough man yeah i watched your video that's
And you know but i used that as an example because
The thing is if i had somebody in my corner if i had a. Life coach at the time
that thoroughly, believed in me you know i
Might have been able to get through some of those situations a little bit easier maybe give me a little bit different perspective
I probably, was just as you know
Just the same as far as a very
Close-minded them i know i was because i went through a lot of different things that i could have avoided
and people trying to tell them you know you should be doing x y & z but i did it anyway
You know but that's how, we learn?
but
That's where now i come in as a health and a life, any mindset coach is when people are going through
Some situations or they feel like, well i'm just a felon and i can't do anything or?
you know i had this happen to me when i was a child, and
So, my life is always, gonna stop
You know i'm gonna come in and give you a new perspective to understand that just you know
Your past does not have to dictate your future
Right and i see that so much people are still lost when it comes to that they
Identified themselves as something that happened to them 15 or 20 years, ago or even longer sometimes like man you, owe
All it takes is a shift up here and you can, move past that that's that's just something you learn
From it's not what defines you or what you are you know i was abused, when i was a kid a very small kid
doesn't define me that's not who i am or, what i am i don't walk around saying, oh i'm abused look at me i
learned from that i grew from that i've been through other things you know, uh
Bankruptcy, and foreclosure was one of my things that, we my wife and i went through right after we got married bought
Her first house the market tanked she lost her job i didn't know. How
to handle that but right i learned through that i grew from that, woman that i don't walk around, saying hey i
went bankrupt
Ten years, ago or fifteen years ago i got nobody cares, about that but, they care, about my experience and drawing from me
But that's one of my things is just getting people to shift out of that
That victim mentality or the mindset that they are
Whatever that thing, was that one of my guides went through a lot of his dad
Ex-military really successful a long time, ago or you know
Vietnam vet all that stuff and he was very strict with him as they were kids and
Whenever him or somebody his family, would get overweight you know
they would hear about it from his mom and dad they were very very rigid very structured and he had a lot of i
Guess issues because of that you know
Like just always feeling, that he, wasn't up to par wasn't up to speed
And after just talking through and helping him understand that you know
His parents, they didn't have a negative intention for him they weren't trying to harm him, by being just like
They, were trying to help, him, maybe they just didn't know the best way, but after he figure that out he just
Dropped a ton of weight like he's
You know he's gotten, where he wants to be he's doing, what he wants to do he's happier is more productive he?
Was able to get past
Some of his issues just, by talking through and figuring that out hmm
Sometimes too you know as men you know, going through, bankruptcy, and foreclosure and?
Not walk around, saying this is me this is you know?
And and some of that is you know us as men and we're like, i can't play the victim mentality you
Know and where a lot of that is true, we don't want to play the victim mentality however?
we, also feel that, we take that a, step further as, men and and think, well i
Can't show, i can't show. You know my emotion towards this i have to keep this bottled inside because i want to look weak
right you know eric
Said it at the live, event he said, you know i never never mistake a week gentlemen for a week one like
That has stuck with me through through
and
The imaan, truth behind that and and that was more more of an epiphany moment for me
Was to thoroughly, understand and and by you know. Discussing things that are bothering us or you know. Hurting us
Doesn't necessarily mean that were weak we're actually being strong stronger because we're opening up about it and we were stretching ourselves and getting
Uncomfortable to discuss something that's that's bothered us yeah
you know and
you know so like as a result of that video that i posted
um
These guys, came up to me and i can just i can, tell like it was just
It's painful for them just to just
you know
Waiting for that stone to be thrown
Like waiting for me just to find that stone in my pocket chuck it out, and like all your filling almost
owe me to death, well no
stories yeah
But we've got to be able to release that
and
Make, peace with that
By speaking about it and that's gonna make us stronger people and allow us
To, actually lead productive lives so we're not stuck in the past but
clue that's gonna clock are always going forward and
Even if we're standing, still if the clocks are going forward if we're standing still a little map works and
So we've got to make peace with, what has happened back here
So, we can, go that way so we can, go forward with with the hands of time
yeah, absolutely that's a great point i
See a lot of men i haven't so that book
was posted in the group the masks of masculinity have you finished that or started it yet i
Haven't either i'm finishing up a different one and then that's next but
finishing
right now it's how, to win friends and influence people i have a list of
Dale carnegie it's an old book i've got that in the audio book actually it is very good it's the audio
Books, she's pretty outdated, oh?
Yeah, what forty's but i mean still i mean great principals live by?
and i'm actually
You know change your, life, change, your mind i'm, sorry change of mind change of life, by dr. Wayne dyer, okay?
it goes off the
81-81 versus of the towel okay now the team
And i'm you're talking somebody that wrote this 2500 years, ago flight
Principals and he goes through and actually
Kind of?
Translates the principles so we can understand at. Modern-day time and
That's that's an, awesome book as?
well thanks i'll check that up a lot of good ones have you done the four agreements i get some of that, well i
Got a lot of reading to do, yeah me too i've got a, huge list, that's not i think that they pushed
That one on the maths of masculinity you know
A few weeks, ago and i haven't even downloaded it yet i've had a few others in the way?
yeah i
Speaking of books iron john you see i posted that a, while back it's a great, book it's about
Boys, becoming, men how. They need, a rite of passage, and what's happened in our culture since we've lost, those things pretty
Cool i'm not you have to send me a list, oh?
I don't i don't even know, where my list
Is i'd have a few on my phone that are in queue i'll go through some of my old ones?
And send it to you then, yeah so let's talk about that you mentioned a minute ago, men hiding behind
Hold on real quick you have time, still i'm all right though
You know guys hide behind this so i got to be tough i got to be not show?
Emotion and not show, fear all this other bs like you know nonsense they tell themselves because at
Some point our culture decided that that's how. It needed to be what are your thoughts on there
honestly i think it stems way, back i
Mean you go back historical
I'm speaking more and you know in general terms but
I mean you think about ancient, warriors to them things like, that i mean from what
Society depicts. Anyway, and of course i'm not a historian so i don't know
Specifically how, they were back then but you know. You go through hollywood and we all know how it's accurate you know
Splitting time the military to see if there may blow up
Grenade is not blow. Up a bunch of fire it doesn't happen no you know. You talk, about like the movie 300
Or even like that hard and and you know all these movies where everybody's watching it and so and everybody
Wants to be like the the actors in the movies instead of the actors in real life, and
i got to be like that i need, to say, you'd be calle and
Shoot enough stuff and or you know or acting tough and
Harrowing situations, and where it's good to keep your head on straight during you know. Stressful situations it's
Okay, let's situation affected you i'm clueless you know i've i've sat through autopsies, and i've seen death
from family members to friends and
It's okay, for those situations to affect. You it's they're, going to and if you, say, they're, not you're kidding yourself
You know so but, we put this mask on to say, well i'm good and i did the same i did the same thing?
and
All that does is it actually hurts us more?
than helps us i
Mean i did it to the point where and in non tapas i was
Also on all these medications and i think part of that was i had this going on inside
And it was manifesting itself in the body and so i was taking all these pills in order to
Put a bandaid on each of those each of those issues and i'm taking close to fourteen different medications and you know
Altogether. Oh, that's quite a bit right you know. You're you you, don't you're, no longer yourself you were now
A chemical lab and a walking zombie and that affects. Your relationships that affects
You, work that affects every facet of your life, and so if you, keep kidding. Yourself, that's just how
Life is going to be for you, and
You just you're, going to stumble through life in a fog instead of allowing to release
Some of these demons that you have get them out and get them out for the public to know
So if you are trying to fix certain things and you do blow. Up maybe there'd be a little bit more understanding
but if you can release some of these demons it's kind of like an exorcism almost yeah i
agree
The exorcism and the exorcist or whatever, and she's on his bed tied down
Pukin, and she's raising up and got this, weird voice and all of a sudden it's quiet
That's what's going on inside of us?
We're having all of these demons like fight, each other and bite us and
You know in in our minds and our insides it's
We are that person is tied to the bed and you know being elevated off the bed and in talking in tongues and?
Peeking up and in all this rage is going on?
yeah, lying everywhere
They'll happen in here right you know but as soon as you're able to release whatever is bothering you, is that exorcism?
and all of a sudden there's this there's this quiet as just peace like i
Feel better you don't i mean i'm emily thing is still gonna bug you of course you know
Yeah, i thought the same thing then right just because you're, gonna release it
Doesn't mean it's not gonna continue to bother, me but that starts the healing process that allows you to properly grieve or?
Mourn or just start getting past some of these issues that are occurring
You know you're keeping them bottled up inside nobody knows. And that's like, person that's not talking to anybody in the gym
And if and if you go in with a scowl on your face people are gonna, want to talk to you
Smiles mean a lot man even though you and i were big and bald and scary and have a beard just
That smile changes everything
right i did it yesterday at a
Coffee shop to this this older woman she was probably like, 70 some just walked in and she looked at
Me and i saw her looking at me and i just looked up and smiled and she got all of a sudden like instantly happy
She went from being scared of me to being very happy so yeah he said. Hi and we talked and you know
Yeah i got a lot of people to thank from the live event
For getting, me to smile yeah we're. Going to that event like, those like
I'm the host yeah
I'm the same way man it's a problem it's just not i mean
It's part of my personality but it's not the forefront of my
Personality i'm just kind of like straight faced all the time and people have always said
Your, smile more that just pisses me off but now that i know that you know it affects
Me and infected people interact with i try to do it a lot, more it's very
Helpful, yeah you know actually through like a big grin on my, face for a couple pictures of oh?
Yeah, he's like who's that guy, yeah
My, smile be like that half like i'm here exactly all right
it's awesome
Yeah, it's cool, to hear you talk, about the mask and you know
What it was like for you exercising your demons and experiencing that i had a lot of similar stuff
Happen with
me in the fire service and then i watched guys it's like 25 30 years on
There in that same place they've never been allowed to or taught how
And then finally something happens and their life, falls apart or they snap or whatever and and they've been, they go get help
And then they're all but it like instantly, no questions they're, better like, the world is completely different it's, uh it's really
Weird how, that those demons are inside you
Hmm, yeah, and that's you know i think about
My, dad and and you know the conversation i had with him about you know
And tell me while he's crying that he's fantastic nobody loves don't nobody, wants him
But think that the thing is this the man had a
sense of humor that not a lot of people had just you would find jokes and anything mm-hmm, well and
You know you'd do anything he could to make people laugh, and make people comfortable but he could, never seem to find his, own light
And that was because he was dealing with all his own demons and?
there was nobody with any tools to help him through that and help him see his light and
The fact that he does make people laugh and people do know, who he is and they do care, about him and you know, oh?
So you're. A little bit overweight if you, want to fix it here's how, we fix it right, where you're at then then
You're, happy with, where you're at but
You know the alcohol was just a numbing thing decatur's demon suppressed and?
It eventually killed him you know and so you know i'm a firm believer that you know, masks can kill because
When, we had a conversation he, was bawling i mean he?
that was the first time i'd ever seen him, like that and
To see to see your childhood idol?
like that is like as crushing yeah you know, and
It's when a family member is pretty like that and you have zero answers
helpless you know and now my ignorance
Occurred when you know knowing he was an alcoholic, what i kept drinking with him yeah
you know
But that was my ignorance that was?
Me not understanding it and that, was me being closed-minded
So you know i don't wanna, say i had i had a hand in killing him, because he, was going to do it anyway he
Was his reality and it didn't matter what i did or didn't do i?
Feel you know had i been a health and life coach at the time i have been able to help it
Blame myself for that no because everything is build. By design i think
And so but that was an experience i needed
For the universe to start getting, me pointed in the direction i need to go
you know
Yeah, now you're gonna draw
From that you're gonna build upon that and teach others because of that right right exactly exactly i had a conversation with a young girl
her dad
49 years old was an alcoholic and
You know she would do anything to get him to see what he's doing
You know and i told her yesterday still haven't lost the video you know, and see if a
disinterested third party
Disinterested but a third-party
Point of view of somebody that's been affected and now has is that in a box?
And that that's got to be powerful for somebody in that situation
Like it's powerful for me i mean i teared up watching
Your, video that's that's you know it was amazing to hear your story and to see how. You handled and dealt with everything
Somebody, that was actually going through that it would have to be even more moving or more empowering because we're living in right now yeah
no doubt
So we've talked, about masks, we talked
About men and some of their hiding places so what have you found obviously your video but what have you found effective
As far as reaching them or having them understand
What you do obviously i'm not talking?
About the three or four guys that talk crap on your facebook post but
The other ones that are kind of interested you said, some guys, would come up to you in the gym, now
What do you what are you finding resonates with them
Well and even they didn't even the guy is on a post like you know
i'm
Definitely not knocking those guys it's it's just it's something that isn't learned yet and that's alright alright i haven't been
too, critical on them
but
As far as the guys that have approached me you know the video go first and foremost
Is what they're stuck with them and then seeing another man
Who is a gym rat
Spent 13 years in rank or
You know really putting it out there
That i've been through, some shit and this is me you know. Take it or leave it
That's kind of help them open up just a little bit you know, whether it's putting that wedge in that door
You know maybe the doors not swinging all the way open like
ok
Here i am but just putting that wedge in that door just to get that door cracked open a little bit to let
Some chain start to come in and some influence come in to kind of help start you know
you know
creating an environment and positive change for that person and
Getting past you know, maybe it was a lifestyle
Or an addiction
or you know whatever issue that occurred
That wedge is gonna start allowing positive influence for them to be able to break away, from that entirely and stop living in the past
So, well you know and a lot of it too is just helping them
You know they see the video and then they've talked, to me and during their conversations
They, come to me with
Well this is who i am and i'm a
Horrible person because of it and you know it's it's giving them a different that didn't a lot of horrible person not at all
you know
Even if even if you have done bad stuff in the past like
Okay, you, did best of the past are
you Still doing it no did you learn from it yes
Have you spent time in prison and and you've paid your dues yeah and you've been able to move on from that
And you're making yourself a better person because of the situation's you've been in i think then great then, that's all that
That's all that anybody can, ask of you and if anybody's throwing stones at. You for it mm-hmm it might be because that person
There's mad at themselves about something, well i definitely see that a lot, people the first people to throw
stones or cats criticism
Often have the same issues that they're, they're, scare or they haven't confronted yet with themselves and that's what's driving that
Mm-hm you know i always, tell people when when you've got somebody, that's pointing the finger
at you
You've got one finger pointing at you
well one thing they
don't see
there's the three fingers one back at themselves yeah i
used to be that guy used to be the finger pointer you know i i was
Angry, and upset not angry but just always
very pragmatic and
Just similar to what you're saying, about yourself back in the day you know i know i would say, oh that's bullshit
We don't need that
Oh, that's that's nonsense but now, like i've been crushed
A few times and looked at the grinder and come out the other side and my
Whole perspective is completely different honestly you i thought i was doing pretty
well and then i went through our course the hdi course and
I realized all the places that i'm that need improvement that i'm lacking that i need to fix or work on you know
That that was uh was probably one of the?
biggest
life-changing, things i've gone through yeah
Yeah, and that was that, was big for me and it started with
Skills lab that we did but, what do you?
Want to get out of the weekend and my thing is i've always been you know i've always been nest an office person
until the end
And i'm like, okay i can cut. Loose sinister they cut. Loose for like all rights over
Yeah, i think we're related somehow. Anybody you know and and i did there was one time i did that
Me, my wife went to a
Went to a couple's retreat after i got back from iraq you know seven
and
It was it was a it was a not-for-profit
Organization that put this on don texas and when i was there when i first started?
We were at this
Big all these tables that were all pointed inward and we were all facing each other and i just had back this i?
Had that look on my face like
Who are you, why are you looking at me
you know yeah i know
I've owned that look for years yeah and there was even a. Few. Guys that were officers and other branches they, were like i
Thought, you were just gonna
start killing everybody
That's a horrible way being
Like you know, don't want to look intimidating i don't want to look like
You know people can't approach, me and talk to me especially as it's a coach or trainer like
People have to have to be able to want to come talk to you
You know and so if you're standoffish and people don't want to talk to you
Now you've got to go start conversations with everybody instead of people coming to you, yeah
You know and so but this path that the light event it was
You know what i put myself out there the very beginning
And that's where you know she was going around, asking people for their
Aha, moments and this kind of thing and i was like you know, what and actually?
Audra, sat next to me she, was them
Skills that partner and one my new sisters, oh?
yeah
She challenged, me she was like, well you know, do something or what and so they
all right i put my hand up you know and she
Stacey came out gave me a microphone and i stood up and i mean it was a conversation?
Talk, about
you know, my dad and
You know it changed and and then that's when i said that you know i've been i've been, challenged. By, several people start youtube channel
You know and then they but it was after that like two minutes
Up there and i have people come walking up to me to tell
me that i've spoken man and and i inspired them and they can't wait for the youtube channel and and
You know what are you starting it you start right now you know
you
Know in the by talking about the youtube channel that was more of a public accountability thing for me like but not the universe and
Universal, what you accountable and?
Then people walking up to me telling, me that you know
How i spoke with conviction and and stage presence you know, was not a. Stage like, and
How i talked on a microphone i they're, like, don't lose that keep it and you know i thought you had those things did you
Know like i've spoken to people many times like i've spoken to small groups and you know
The, rehab facility, and things like that but it's never
And even though the men in the rehab facility said that and when i've spoken to them that
Was more me thinking i spoke to them because i'm somebody has been affected. By addiction
Not because i'm a. Good speaker
And you know and so being around 800 people and
telling a brief snippet of my, story, and
Just telling them you know how. You know things happen for a reason and follow
Those changes that brace those changes and then just just nothing but positive response out of that was
like
Hey, wake up start making ellen
well
B is the weekend is definitely that, we can, never change me and?
It's even, my, wife's even seen. A change in me and you know. The pepper, my staff and being more even more positive and
You know not allowing things to get to me because i know, what i'm doing, is what i'm just what i should be doing?
Listening shawn's to even thought of stevenson talk about
you know
don't listen to the doubters and
You know if you're getting, mad about what something somebody is saying or maybe
There's a part of you inside of you that thinks it's true
Yeah, most of these things have really stuck with me
That's awesome i haven't been to a live yet a hoping to go to the next one mission i paid twice a, year right
Yeah, i want today it's gonna be like october november yeah i plan on going to that one so
So, well then i'm holding you accountable then all right let's, do it i'll see you there hey
Of course i'm gonna, be there awesome yes sir we got another balbir, disease showing up
Oh, yeah, yeah i think i haven't seen anybody else in the groups that look, like us there's a few
Guys, with beards but they, don't match on top so you know, what i love the?
All the different walks of life, that us men are coming from and the great the internet the you know
Walking and the weird thing too is a
lot of us marines
like
Yeah, there, was like four or five right yeah
I've seen that i've noticed that just the men's group, there's only like
What i think a hundred of us in there and there's quite a few servicemembers and the majority of those members are marines yeah yeah
mmm
something's going on there e
And police work, we call that a clue
Yes, yeah, yeah that's good that they're finding you know, their way figuring out what what they need?
And finding it here you know, what i think i think what part of that is is?
You know when you're in the marine corps and you become an nco or noncommissioned officer is a corporal a sergeant?
or ii 45
You are now
Taking charge of younger marines you know 18 19 20 year olds, who have never been, away, from home and you gotta make
Sure these guys are safe and they're taking care of and it's all about true welfare
And so i think you know for those of us that get out, we missed that
You know taking care of marines aspect. You know i know i do?
You know in health coaching you know
When one of the guys on a post even said so wait a minute i could i could charge for you know
Motivating and taking care of people and helping people see their influence and of course i i jump back i was like
Well you do actually the government thanks you yes i did i thought his comment it was funny you know and he laughs
About it so it was all good fun
And you know but you know that's
There is a lot of connection there, where you know
We're able to help people and help people understand maybe a different perspective to being in okinawa
Japan, for the first time and after living at home in
The middle of nowhere kansas yeah
you know and in helping a person understand that this is actually a opportunity of a lifetime and
You can, have as much fun here as you actually
Want to you and experience things you never an experience you know and so you know
To, put that into the health and life posting aspect. You know, we do the same thing, where you know
people people aren't really understanding a positive perspective to
something life, is throwing em
Can't think any examples off the top of my, head right now but it's just, weird they usually do but
You know to just to be able or okay so the guy, with the felon
Just said he was a felon you know. Giving him a, different perspective to
You know what that was that was when you were a kid it doesn't have to define you now?
And make you can, see like the pep in his step and you know it was the same thing at the young green like
Listen you can, you could, do and see things you you're in okinawa. Japan
Go, do it go do a, battle site store go see the naval underground headquarters
Where there's still holes in the wall from bad from japanese troops blowing themselves up and you can
You it's unlike you and almost feeling, goes to the past in these tunnels
Um no go, do stuff like, that go to, akuma that's a resort that is ran, by the air force like
Morally, by being and all this other stuff get out of your barracks room, basically you will find that you can have fun yeah
you know i think you know if
If that is kind of the?
The thing, like there's a lot of you know
Even first responders and different branches of the military in general like and just think that that is because, we miss a brotherhood?
here
Yeah, it's it's pretty it's pretty cool to see how
This, is growing i'm glad we're in the early stages of it to watch it yeah yeah
i'm excited
That's good?
All right man i want to be respectful of your time it's been almost an hour so is there anything else you
Want to touch on before, we wrap up?
No i mean pretty much cover the thing, is it's just
you know
Health coaching really can health and life coaching really can't help people on especially, men like, men need
This, yeah it or not and you know. Whether they, don't like the idea or not that's fine
well we need it
No, questions i mean that's you know, we're us as, men were a little bit
The minority i guess as far as men and women are concerned because women are more inclined to
Empower each other us as, men were more like
Definitely more standoffish you keep you keep your distance you know i mean and and i'll keep my distance we can, be boys
But i don't want you get in my business
You know i mean i know, yeah a lot, less our you know, women are there even if you look at a prison environment
women is more that they create more of a family environment and
In on the male side it's about
You know who's the alpha, male who's the biggest the baddest
And if you're gonna step to all my minions are gonna beat the hell out of you you know
And so they, don't want to get close to you
Because i'm the alpha male so so you keep your distance before i had you before i have to beat you dead yeah
So you know, and that's?
You know so if men can actually open up the benefit
astronomically from this
Yeah, you know i think about a lot of my mentors in life, my grandfather's they, were both around, me when i was little?
Several of the older members like great uncles and my great grandfather even a lot of those men helped raise
Me and i think, about them telling me you know later on in their life, about their struggles, they, had addictions
they, had issues they were
In the military or in prison or whatever they, did you know. If they had had some kind of
Mentorship or coaching, when they needed it you know. There may be i
Don't know i'm not, saying it's, bad that they went through those things but
they Would have had a
Clear direction or purpose or just guidance to come out of that with a you know different perspective it wouldn't have affected them for so
long
You know and the thing is i think everything that's happened in the past
Leading up until you know present, day and things that, we have access to now, and things that we've created, now
Versus things that didn't exist then i think it's all been designed honestly
You know each generation has their strengths and their weaknesses and i think for us it's finally understanding that you know
One don't go to a doctor for a pill for everything, ya know. That's gonna kill you quicker than anything
But to you know. Take that mask off and allow people to see, who you are for who you are you know nice
Hey, when were you born?
82 i'm 35 thank you so i think
technically i think we're in the millennial group right i
Heard this somewhere it's i think we're kin we're like, this little animal span of like four years yeah the inbetweeners
Well whose was it before us was generation next yeah, yeah i think it was like 70 something to like 83 or 84
So i think in so i think it's, what is something like?
82 to
86 or whatever it is were considered sin eels oh no it's it's a generation
See so we're kind of a mixture between generation z and the millennial sword so they just say is any old i guess
okay, oh
Yeah, i've had a bunch lately, some people said something about you know us me being a
Millennial and i've never thought, about it that way, but i'll claim that i don't care i think, what's the difference we're, gonna
Right just generation, mmm i think i think there's a, bad stigma with the millennials out there but
There's i think there's a lot of people like us they're, kicking, doors down and making positive changes in the world that
I'm gonna, make this generation one of the best, ever what, do you think
Well and that's you know i think as far as you know the bad rap millennials have
with
You know the entitlement and you know not want to do anything and that kind of thing
One i think if there is a person that feels that they're entitled to everything i don't think it's a
generational problem i think spending problem
absolutely
you know but
you know
It goes back to people throwing stones about things that you understand and i've been guilty of it although i've thrown
Millennials under the bus tree
you know but the truth is
There are money was out there that are doing
Phenomenal things and you know. People of all generations doing amazing things and so it's not it's not about what generation
You're, from has nothing to do with your generation it has everything to do with
your, work ethic the resources that you go find yourself not the resources given to you right and
What you, want to do are you just looking at
Your dreams as just a dream or if you are you are you visualizing your dreams and saying i can see it clear as day
And i'm going after it and there's nothing getting in my, way there's nothing stopping me you know i see i see both the the
the
People that are kicking
Ass and taking names knocking
Down doors and and chasing after what is truly theirs and i see people that are sitting on her butt spanked i deserve
Xyz yeah, and that's that's like, he said it's not generations. Specific it's across the board yeah
Yeah, that's definitely i mean i just i see?
People older made people younger than, me that are on both sides of both sides of spectrum it doesn't matter it
Doesn't matter what generation, you're in it matters how. You were raised and
What are you doing with yourself
Yeah, sit on your, ass watching tv watching, jerry springer every, day are you getting out and getting after a
Rising up rising you know. You go to bed late and doing everything you can, and?
filling up your
Your, schedule with things that are going to better you to improve you and to build you
There's what is it eighty six thousand five hundred seconds in a day?
yeah, i've heard that number something like, that nothing like that what are you doing with every one of those seconds i
Mean that that's great
it's like, this video this call right here between us you know i
This, is something after we've only met a few weeks, ago, via that facebook group
Right so i just felt like i really needed to talk to you
And we were experiencing some of the same things i wanted to you know draw
From you and have your take on stuff and see where it was going how
I, was looking for you that's you know, and i'm gonna grow. From this you're, gonna grow
From this and we're gonna share this and other people are gonna grow. From this yeah absolutely
You, gotta fill up this week, actually i've got several of these scheduled with
Some of some other classmates and even some of my mentors you know just
trying to
Build myself up let them get their voice out
Be heard i'm gonna publish all this stuff you mentioned youtube that's on my list i've been i've been challenged to do that as
Well and i've been avoiding it so i'm going for it this week
Well i'm officially challenging and telling you to stop and learning it yeah, well honestly it was a time thing as
Well because i started the channel then i solved some of the things it would take to kind of?
Build it and get it going and i just wanted to go to it yet but now
It's been on my heart, so i'm going for it
And honestly like some of the side i went a little bit deeper with the editing, stuff but, like, you could legitimately
record yourself on your computer and
Hit publish like i just took it a, step further and got a camera and yeah
That's what i was i was wanting to put more into it than that so that's, why?
I haven't been doing it but now. I don't care i'm just gonna go for it you didn't want though even
i'm having
Microphone adapter, issues but you know, and where the audio, wasn't the greatest on that first video you're saying you know
what screw it i
Do it get it out there start it and make it happen and then just improve it as time goes on you know
It's if we wait for the perfect
for the perfect, time the times never to come um
You know people say they're ready for kids you are never ready for kids if you're, gonna do?
people say
you know, well i'm ready to deploy or you know, whatever
No, you're not
Yeah, nothing prepares you for for the shit that happens on deployment you just you get the orders and you go
I'm just doing this here we go you know kind of thing it's
You just got it do it you just put yourself out there and then you make improvements as you go along
Mm-hm that's it you're never ready
All right man i think, we should do this, again, what do you think yeah, awesome maybe?
We can invite some more guys, from the group out. And have some little bigger conversation
Yeah, just pick a different topic every couple weeks and go for it down with that yeah
We do that did you like the whole little brady bunch like
Yeah, i mean if you, add too many people you can't not everybody gets a chance to speak so
If we kept it it like a, few, each time what?
You, think, yeah i'm game all right cool i'll put something together figure this out i might have to upgrade
My, zoom account so we can go longer and
They, catch you if you, don't pay for it
of course
Of course, well speaking of that it's let us go longer today so maybe it likes us
Well it's gotta be the beards it's not feet if there's no other choice
Or, maybe it's because we're you know
Sharing our light with the world maybe, that's it
Yeah, and you got somebody just on the other end one?
Yeah, listen these guys, would be wow
All right my man, well i hope you have a good, day, today, what is it it's noontime where you are right yeah?
Yep it's noon
Done make people sweat
Yeah, go, do it i've got to do a bunch of internet work today for the business of i've got
Some stuff coming up i have to go have a bunch of print stuff made up, so i'm working on that today
And then gotta get my training in and then the kids there the kids
You know i'm in charge of my kids most mornings and then when they get home first thing
so
Yeah, dad like is the rad life
yeah
unless yeah how old are yours i
Got one he's five, okay?
My, weekly schedule is taking him to jujitsu so nice i better keep my
Muscle gains up in the back cause, when he gets over cuz, i'm gonna be dangerous it might take, me down, soon
All right scott, well thanks for the chat today man i appreciate your time, yeah, absolutely just let me know, when you undo this again?
Mm-hmm i'll get it crackin all right sounds good we put in week you do bye?
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