♪ Theme music ♪
Eighty to ninety percent of problems in marriages,
the number one problem is the husband, the guy, the man!
A silent vote of confidence!
Why is that?
Guys, we are meatheads!
We are narcissistic, egotistical, prideful,
out of touch, generally cold hearted lugs who don't get it!
We don't understand, most of us here who are married,
what marriage is all about!
And therefore, marriages are failing all around us,
and eighty, ninety percent of the time,
you could say it's because of the husband!
That's the way it is!
Now, where did marriage come from?
"Well, I just guess it came up through culture and history.
I don't know..."
Marriage is a gift from God!
It's God's gift!
It's not good for man to be alone.
Man and woman created He them.
Marriage is a gift from God.
Did God give us this gift and just say "Lots of luck!"
Nothing upsets me more when somebody says
"I've just been lucky in my marriage!"
Luck has nothing to do with it, gentlemen!
Not a thing in the world!
Now, if we had to put a puzzle together
-this is a child's puzzle of 100 pieces for 5 year olds and up.
Most men and women here could put
this puzzle together without the box top.
We could put it together probably
-most women could put it together in about an hour.
Us guys, we could put it together in about three hours,
without the box top to look at.
We could put it together, only a hundred pieces.
We, we'd eventually figure that out, guys.
Yeah.
We would...
By the same token, if you had a puzzle with say 20,000 pieces
-20,000 pieces, and their little pieces, and we said
"Well, put that together without having a picture!
Don't have a picture.
Just put it together, all 20,000 pieces!"
I don't know if that's possible!
In a lifetime, to put a 20,000 piece, or 30,000, 40,000 piece
puzzle together with no picture, with little bitty pieces?
Impossible!
But a lot of us think that marriage is like putting
together a child's puzzle that-here's somebody who
intelligent, and I married somebody, the wife would say,
who's reasonably intelligent, and surely we can
work out all these problems and decisions, putting the puzzle of
marriage together if we use common sense, and we're
basically good people, and we are quote "Christian" end quote.
But that's not the way it is, folks!
Marriage involves 20,000 different choices, 20,000
different pieces and then some!
Decisions, attitudes, emotions, children, money, living, all the
multiplicity of things, and so many of us in our marriages
could be told by the one word "conflict".
That would describe it.
Conflict.
Conflict...
Disagree on everything.
Argue about everything.
Resolve nothing.
And therefore, it is the male primarily who takes it all in
and stuffs it all down; has all the ego, all the narcissistic
tendencies, and we just say "Man, I married the wrong
person" and the truth is, the success of a marriage
primarily is on the male!
In the Bible, three times, it is said
the man is to love his wife.
Not one time do you find the Bible saying a wife
is to love her husband.
Oh, we, she, she we hope she does!
We should; but it is the husband who takes
the initiative to find forgiveness.
It is the husband who says "I am wrong."
It is the husband who tries to fill the breeches that
happens in relationships.
Now, here's the tragic thing.
I'm gonna tell every man here-I'm gonna give you a
picture of God's picture of your role, your place in marriage.
You know what's gonna happen?
Most of you guys will understand it for a minute, but you don't
have enough stuff to take God's program, God's picture,
God's view, God's way to make your marriage
sizzle and explode, because you won't take it from here.
You'll say something like "Well, I'm just like my daddy!
I've always been like this, and I just can't change!"
Or you'll say "Well, I don't see any hope!
I just, I, I'm just gonna hang in here, and I, I..."
Something happens between God's Truth and putting that Truth
into practice, especially when it comes to marriage, guys.
Especially and particularly when it comes to marriage.
Now, the operative word for a man in marriage is sacrifice!
Say it with me!
Sacrifice!
Every man, say it with me!
(Men say "Sacrifice").
Some of you can't even...say it with me!
Every man, say the word "sacrifice!"
(Men say "sacrifice").
Now, let's see what Paul has to say!
Look at Ephesians, Chapter Number 5.
I'll read Verse 25.
I'll come back and go through the rest of the Verses here.
It says: "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved
the church and gave Himself up for her so that He might
sanctify her, having cleansed her by
the washing of water with the word."
Now flip over to I Peter.
This is Peter telling husbands, Verse 7.
"You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an
understanding way, as with someone weaker..."
That is not mentally, or emotionally weaker.
It's someone who is physically weaker.
"As with someone weaker, since she is a woman, and show her
honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life,
so your prayers will not be hindered."
Go back to Ephesians, if you would.
Now the operative word for men is, gentlemen!
(Men say "sacrifice").
One guy got it!
The operative word for men is (Men say "sacrifice").
All right!
And by the way, you find that in that phrase that I read.
Look at it.
"Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved
the church and gave Himself up!"
Sounds like sacrifice, doesn't it?
"Gave Himself up!"
That's the operative word for men.
We know that Paul talks about we are to experience sacrificial
love toward our wives, gentlemen.
Peter talks about we are to experience sacrificial
leadership toward our wives.
Two different things!
So first of all, he says we are
to give ourselves up to a sanctifying love!
What does that mean?
He says as Jesus Christ sanctified the church.
How did Jesus sanctify the church?
He gave His life!
He gave Himself up!
He died on a Cross so that we might be in the family of God!
We might be sanctified.
We may be right with God.
We may be brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ!
We are set aside, and we are saints!
Everybody is a Christian is a saint.
And when we, as Christ sanctified you and me through
the giving Himself up on a Cross, we, we men are to give
ourselves up to our wives, and we set them up on a pedestal.
Guys, we are to be partners with Almighty God to bring out
God's purpose that He gave life to
your wife to for the first place.
Other words, God has a purpose for every woman.
We are to help God bring out that womanhood,
that femininity in our wives!
That's our calling!
That's what we are to do!
That's our role.
That's sanctifying, and to sanctify them,
guys -this'll blow your mind!
You're gonna have to talk to them!
Did you know in America, the average couple spends per week,
thirty-seven minutes talking to one another?
Thirty-seven minutes!
The average couple in a week!
Is it any wonder when the kids leave, you have an empty nest,
you look around and say "Who is this man I'm married to?
I don't know him!
Where did he come from?"
And so many divorces take place in the latter years of marriage
because they don't communicate.
We have to communicate with our wives!
We have to understand how they operate, how their mind works.
We set them up on a pedestal!
You guys who are the strong, silent type;
a lot of women marry guys who are the strong, silent type.
But to your wives, gentlemen,
learn a little bit about opening up!
They want to hear from you, what you're thinking,
what you're like, what your agenda is,
what your fears are, what excites you!
What you enjoy!
You have to talk with them.
Now they communicate in different ways.
Jo Beth watches athletic events with me on television.
She sits there and she looks at it.
Now at the end of the game, she may or may not know who won!
But I can tell you one thing, she'll know every little
personal story she hears about one of the players,
about their mother, their daddy, the magic of Tim Tebow.
We knew so much about his life, and more than his athleticism.
She didn't know whether he was a quarterback or a tackle,
I mean...
But we know, because she likes that!
Women like that personal thing At the end of the game,
she said "Boy, wasn't it wonderful to hear about the,
the half-back and so forth, and so on, and so on?"
I said "How did you know that?"
"Well, they told it..."
You know, I've got a book in my hand.
I watch the game.
All this other stuff is filler!
I'm not interested in all that!
Let's just play football!
Let's just play basketball!
Let's just play baseball!
I don't want all that stuff about this, and mama's uncle,
(inaudible).
But she loves all that!
That's what she remembers!
She doesn't remember the game!
And I have to understand that.
I have to try to tune into that and say
"Oh, I didn't know that."
I listen, and I try to perk up now during that time so I can
be involved in the game that she's watching!
So we sanctify.
We build up.
We put them up.
There must be a giving up sanctifying love.
Also, there must be a giving up beautifying love.
Look at this!
"That He might present to Himself the church in all her
glory, having no spot or wrinkle, or any such thing,
that she would be holy and blameless."
In other words, as Christ is to present all of us as His Body;
He is the Bridegroom.
We're the bride.
He wants to present us to God without spot, without wrinkle,
and the, the shed blood has covered our sin.
God sees you and me as perfect.
So we are to present our wives and make them beautiful!
How do you make your wife beautiful?
By encouraging.
By building them up!
That's how we make them...
Listen!
I can talk to any wife here, truthfully, about fifteen to
thirty minutes, and I can tell you in a skinny minute, with
unerring authority, whether or not that wife, that husband
really builds up, and honors, and adores that woman!
She'll have a beauty in her that you can't miss!
By the same token, if the husband has been a dullard and
doesn't get it, and just going through the motion of
husbanding, I can tell that too!
Doesn't haven't to be very smart!
You can tell a woman whose loved by her husband,
the way Christ loved the church!
It shows in her steps, in her words, in her attitude,
and her whole giveness!
It just overflows because she's secure, and confident of his
love, and his faithfulness, and his fidelity to her!
So we are to love with a beautifying love.
A friend of mine said recently, just the two of us, he said
"You know, I, I'm so thrilled to be able to enjoy the beauty
of my wife for over 30 years of marriage."
He wasn't talking about physical beauty.
Every female will come increasingly, physically
more beautiful inside when we men know how to love them!
Love them...
So there is a, give yourself up is a beautifying love.
Look at other kind of love that Paul tells us how husbands ought
to perform, how we ought to act.
It says here in Verse uh, 28: "for no one ever hated his own
flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ
also does the church."
There is to be a cherishing love.
We're to give ourselves up so we can have
a cherishing love toward our wife.
What in the world does that mean?
It means she knows that she's of first importance to us.
If I handed out a piece of paper, and I asked you guys to
write down the three things your wife most likes to do.
My point is, do you really know your wife?
What makes her laugh?
What makes her cry!
What makes her...
How to keep...
Do you know her love language?
Everybody has a love language.
And then the next way we love!
And this is in our Scripture.
You give yourself up so you can participate in Divine math.
There's Divine math that Paul gives us here.
We know what it is.
We've been over it before.
Listen to it!
"Because we are members of His Body, for this reason, a man
shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to
his wife and the two shall become one flesh."
We give ourself up, guys, to our wives,
so that Divine math can take place.
What's Divine math?
One plus one equals-one!
Say it with me!
One plus one equals one!
How does this take place?
How does it work?
It's an amazing thing how it works.
You have two different individuals,
and it's not his and hers; it's ours.
It's not he and she; it's we.
Two become one.
It is an irrevocable commitment to an imperfect person for life.
That's a definition of marriage, God's way!
God's way...
And in that deal, two become one, and that's so difficult.
How does that happen?
The Bible tells us in Genesis, Paul tells us, it's found
-Jesus tells us in Matthew 19, "You leave!"
You got to leave all those other relationships.
First place, if anything comes in your life, it's your wife.
First place, it's your wife.
First place, you got to leave everything else.
Your wife, your wife, your wife, gentlemen.
You have to leave all other relationships.
She is first and primary.
And you, unless you leave, they can't have any togetherness.
See, the action words there are the verbs.
You leave, you're joined, and you become.
Leave, join, become.
"Join" in the King James would be "cleave".
You can't, unless you leave, you can't cleave!
But when you leave, then you can cleave.
And then you become one flesh, and that is a Divine thing.
That is a mystery.
That is a supernatural thing.
Just like if you are in Christ as Christ is in you,
do you understand that?
I am in Christ, Christ in me.
Do I understand that?
No, it's a mystery!
That, so it is with marriage.
It is a mystery.
Christ in you, Christ in me; your wife in you;
you and your wife.
Your wife, you become one flesh.
How does this work?
You become one in body.
That's Eros.
That's the physical part of marriage.
We'll talk about that in weeks to come.
You become one in body!
A symbol of the covenant with the church,
a symbol in the marriage.
You become one flesh.
That's the Greek word "Eros".
And then you become body and soul.
Soul is the will.
It's where we make decisions, and you become one in soul.
That is friendship, that is phileo.
That is friendship love.
The Greek word, "phileo".
We're friends.
Your best friend is your wife!
Your best friend is your wife...
Then we become one in spirit, and that's agape love.
That is unconditional love that God has for you and me!
He doesn't love you any better
when you're worse, or bad, or good.
It's unconditional love.
That is that unconditional love.
That is a spiritual thing.
Now, we see what Paul has said about marriage.
We are to demonstrate sacrificial love.
Peter comes in.
In a very brief time, he just nails down
our role as leaders in marriage.
Look at it in uh, I Peter, Chapter 3.
"You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in
an understanding way."
In other words, we are to lead with understanding.
We are to be leaders in the home,
but we have to be understanding leaders.
Years ago, we had a seminar in our church by Dr. Smalley,
and he used the figure.
He said that men are buffalos, and women are butterflies.
I like that!
Guys, we're buffalos!
We just-I mean, we're just brutes!
Women are butterflies!
Boy, they just fly around!
I mean they are multi-colored.
We're just-we just are lugs!
Boy, it's hard for a butterfly to communicate with a buffalo,
and a buffalo to communicate with a butterfly!
That's the challenge we have!
So guys, we are charged by God to understand our wives,
to see what makes them tick!
To work through these things, to listen enough,
to love enough, to care enough to give ourselves
up enough to lead in an understanding way!
Very important!
Very important...
And look at the next way that we are to lead.
Peter's still talking to us now.
He said "As with someone weaker, since she is a woman, and show
her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of God."
We are to lead in honoring.
There should be an honoring leadership.
Do you honor your wife?
Do you, do you really, are you thrilled with her?
When you see your wife, does your heart beat faster?
When you see your wife, are you, you want to be with her?
You want to be identified with her.
You honor.
She knows that of all the people in the world, you place her up
higher than anybody else!
You applaud her more than anybody else!
You're on her team, no matter what happens!
So, let me tell you something: In marriage, it's not win-lose.
It's win-win.
If the wife wins, the husband wins!
If the husband loses, the wife loses.
It's lose-lose, or win-win!
It's never win-lose with a marriage, because you're one,
see it?
You're on the same team.
So we love with an honoring love.
And then, look at the next thing.
This is, this is interesting.
It sort of surprises you.
It says "So that your prayers will not be hindered."
Peter says we are to love with a praying leadership!
Guys, you want your marriage to come alive?
Just pray with your wife!
"Well, I'm not much on prayer!"
Let me tell you something: My dad didn't become a
Christian til' he was in his 40's.
My mother led us in reading the Bible and praying night after
night, my brother and myself.
Dad never participated.
But after he became a Christian, I remember the first night!
I remember it like yesterday!
I could recreate the little bedroom, and the bed where
we were seated, and my dad came in for the first time and
heard the Scripture read, and I prayed, and Mother prayed,
and my brother prayed, and then my dad prayed.
It wasn't a "Thou" and "Thee", and "In Jesus Name"
and didn't have all those religious words!
He didn't know those religious words.
But I'll never forget that prayer!
It changed everything in our little family.
Guys, lot of you'd argue about athletics; you'd argue about
politics; you'd argue about business; but I ask you simply
to say a simple prayer, and you think I'm asking you what your
maiden name is, guys!
Just learn how to simply pray with your wife.
It'll change everything!
Now you can't say from this day forward "I just don't know how
to conduct myself as a husband.
I don't get all this..."
That excuse is lame!
It is invalid, because at least you were present today, guys!
And you got it as clear and as straight as I know how to
deliver it, led by the Holy Spirit of God Almighty!
Now, what are you going to do with it?
It's not going to be "Shazzaaam!"
In the morning, but as we begin to put this picture together of
God's role and plan for a guy in marriage, wonderful things begin
to happen, and one day, you'll wake up, and you'll say
"Who is that woman I'm married to?
I don't recognize her!
Man, she's more beautiful, and charming, and sweeter,
and more loving, and sympathetic!
I can't imagine how she has so radically changed!"
Gentlemen, she has not changed!
You simply, I, we have begun to understand the mission, and the
calling, and the privilege of loving, and leading as men of
God, as husbands in a marriage, and all of a sudden,
we'll wake up and say "Wheww!
It's a miracle!"
You asked for them, and here they are.
The top 5 most requested messages on the Winning Walk.
In this best of series, Dr. Young reveals
the keys to a lasting marriage:
(Dr. Young) "We Don't understand, most of us here who
are married what marriage is all about."
Know that God is in control in the midst of life's storms:
(Dr. Young) "When you say, 'I know', well,
how do you know that you know?"
And how we can experience God's
supernatural guidance in our lives:
(Dr. Young) "We can call our own shots, do our own thing; but
there will come a time when God will say, 'enough!'
Get the favorite 5 volume 2 today.
Call toll free now at the number on your screen
or go online at winningwalk.org
and we will send you this 5 part best of cd series.
It's our gift to you for your financial support.
Call now to get this series for yourself
or share it with a friend or neighbor.
I'm always amazed this time of year
at how the world around us is transformed into Christmas.
All the sights and sounds and the season
are in the air all around us,
but yet some of us, in fact, a lot of us are going to miss it.
You see we have cluttered it up
with a lot of insignificant things and we end up missing
the simple, plain truth and power
of the Savior of this world being born into a lowly manger.
To help you stay focused on the true meaning of Christmas,
we have written a special daily devotional called "The Gift."
Each day you'll get a scripture, a brief devotional and a prayer
delivered right to your tablet, smartphone or computer.
It's easy to read wherever you are.
To get your devotional go to our website -
winningwalk.org and sign-up for "The Gift."
Use this devotional to prepare yourself for the celebration
of the ultimate gift, Jesus Christ this Christmas season.
Get your devotional-I'll tell you,
you'll get in the spirit of Christmas!
And the spirit of Christmas, it'll get into you!
For more infomation >> 8 Ball Pool Trick Shots 650M Complete - What Is 8 Ball Game - Duration: 4:21. 
For more infomation >> With Michael Flynn's Guilty Plea, What's Next In Russia Investigation? - Duration: 1:43. 
For more infomation >> What Is Patriotism? – Speech by Emma Goldman (1908) - Duration: 6:24. 
For more infomation >> Latam, Planes and Brazil, Married - What could go wrong! - Duration: 8:38. 
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét