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so I'm embarrassed that I have a career I talk about things like trust and
cooperation and there should be no demand for my work but the fact of the
matter is is there is demand for my work which means that there's an opportunity
it means that trust and cooperation are not yet standard in our organizations
and yet they should be and we know that which is why we're looking for ways to
bring those things to our organizations so I thought I would do something a
little different today you know when you're speaking to tens of thousands of
people and you have the opportunity to share a message of course most rational
people would say let's go with something I've talked about lots of times and I'm
really good at but I'm not normal so I'm gonna do something completely new and I
hope this works out there are two things that I think that great leaders need to
have empathy and perspective and I think these things are very often forgotten
leaders are so often so concerned about their status of their position and
organization they actually forget their real job and the real job of a leader is
not about being in charge it's about taking care of those in our charge and I
don't think people realize this and I don't think people train for this when
we're junior our only responsibility is to be good at our jobs that's all we
really have to do and some people actually go get advanced education and
so that they can be really good at their jobs accountants or whatever right and
you show up and you work hard and the company will give us tons and tons of
training how to do our jobs they'll show us how to use the software they'll send
us away for a few days to get trained in whatever it is that we're doing for the
company and then they expect us to go be good at our jobs and that's what we do
we work very hard and if you're good at your job they'll promote you and at some
point you'll get promoted to position where we're now responsible for the
people who do the job we used to do but nobody shows us how to do that and
that's why we get managers and not leaders because the reason our managers
are micromanaging us is because they actually do know how do they do the job
better than us that what got them promoted really what we
have to do is go through a transition some people make it quickly some people
make it slowly and unfortunately some people will never make that transition
at all which is we have to go this through this transition of being
responsible for the job and then turning it to somebody who's now responsible for
the people who are responsible for the job and as I said before one of the
great things that is lacking in most of our companies is that they are not
teaching us how to lead and leadership is a skill like any other is a practice'
balloon able skill and it is something that you work on a it's like a muscle if
you practice it all the days you will get good at it and you will get to
become a strong leader if you stop practicing you will become a weak leader
like parenting everyone has the capacity to be a parent doesn't mean everybody
wants to be a parent and doesn't mean everybody shouldn't be a parent
leadership is the same we all have the capacity to be a leader doesn't mean
everybody should be a leader and it doesn't mean everybody wants to be a
leader and the reason is because it comes at great personal sacrifice
remember you're not in charge you're responsible for those in your charge
that means things like when everything goes right you have to give away all the
credit and when everything goes wrong you have to take all the responsibility
that sucks right it's things like staying late to
show somebody what to do it's things like when something does actually break
when something goes wrong instead of yelling and screaming and taking over
you say try again when the overwhelming pressures are not on them the
overwhelming pressures are on us at the end of the day great leaders are not
responsible for the job they're responsible for the people who are
responsible for the job they're not even responsible for the results I love
talking to CEOs and say what's your priority and they put their hands on
their hips old proud and say my priority is my customer I'm like really even talk
to a customer in 15 years
there's no CEO on the planet responsible for the customer they're just not
they're responsible for the people who responsible for the people who
responsible for the customer I'll tell you a true story a few months ago I
stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas it is a wonderful hotel and the reason
it's a wonderful hotel is not because of the fancy beds any hotel can go and buy
a fancy bed the reason it's a wonderful hotel is
because of the people who work there if you walk past somebody at the Four
Seasons than this and they say hello to you you get the feeling that they
actually wanted to say hello to you it's not that somebody told them that you
have to say hello to all the customers say hello to all the guests right you
actually feel that they care now in their Lobby they have a coffee stand and
I one afternoon I went to buy a cup of coffee and there was a barista by the
name of Noah who was serving me Noah was fantastic he was friendly and fun and he
was engaging with me and I had so much fun buying a cup of coffee I actually
think I gave 100 percent tip right he was wonderful so as is my nature
I asked Noah do you like your job and without skipping a beat Noah says I love
my job and so I followed up I said what is it that the four seasons is doing
that would make you say to me I love my job and without skipping a beat Noah
said throughout the day managers will walk past me and ask me how I'm doing if
there's anything that I need to do my job better
he said not just my manager any manager and then he said something magical he
says I also work at Caesars Palace and Caesars at Caesar's Palace the managers
are trying to make sure we're doing everything right they catch us when we
do things wrong he says when I go to work there I like to keep my head under
the radar and just get through the day so I can get my paycheck he says here at
the Four Seasons I feel I can be myself same person entirely a different
experience from the from the customer who will engage with Noah so we in
leadership are always criticizing the people we're always saying we've got to
get the right people on I've got to fill my ronk my team I gotta
get the right people but the reality is it's not the people it's the leadership
if we create the right environment we will get people like Noah at the four
seasons if we create the wrong environment we will get people like Noah
at Caesar's Palace it's not the people and yet we're so quick to hire and fire
you can't hire and fire your children if there's if your kids are struggling we
don't say you got to see at school you're up for adoption so why is it that
when somebody has performance problems at work why is it that our instinct is
to say you're out we do not practice empathy what does empathy look like
here's the lack of empathy this is normal in our business world you walk
into someone's office someone walks into our office and says your numbers have
been down for the third quarter in a row you have to pick up your numbers
otherwise I can't guarantee what the future will look like how inspired you
think that person is to come to work the next day here's what empathy looks like
you walk into someone's office someone walks into your office and says your
numbers are down for the third quarter in a row are you okay I'm worried about
you what's going on we all have performance issues maybe someone's kid
is sick maybe they're having problems in their marriage maybe one of their
parents is dying we don't know what's going on in their lives and of course it
will affect performance at work empathy is being concerned about the human being
not just their output we have for some reason our work world has changed in the
past 20 and 30 years we are suffering the side effects of business theories
left over from the 80s and 90s and they are bad for people and they are bad for
business let me give you an example the concept of shareholder supremacy was a
theory proposed in the late 1970s it was popularized in the 80s and 90s it is now
standard form today you talk to any public company and you ask them their
priority and they say maximize shareholder value
really that's like a coach prioritizing the
needs of the fans over the needs of the players how you gonna build a winning
team with that model but that's normal today we don't even perceive it as
broken or damaged or wrong or outdated remember the 80s and 90s were boom years
with relative peace and a kinder gentler cold war nobody was practicing hiding
under their desks in school anymore we are no longer in those times these are
no longer boom years these are no longer peaceful times and those models cannot
work today here's another one mass layoffs using someone's livelihood to
balance the books right it's so normal in America today that we don't even
understand how broken and how damaging it is not only to human beings but to
business you know companies talk about how they want to build trust and
cooperation then they announce a round of layoffs do you know the quickest way
to destroy trust and destroy cooperation in a business literally in one day
lay people off and everyone gets scared right can you imagine sending someone
home to say honey I can no longer provide for our family because the
company missed its arbitrary projections this year and forget about the people
who lost their job think about the people who kept their jobs because every
single decision a company makes as a piece of communication and the company
cut the company has just communicated to everybody else this is not a meritocracy
we don't care how hard you work or how long you've worked here if we miss our
numbers and you happen to fall on the wrong side of the spreadsheet I'm sorry
we cannot guarantee employment in other words we come to work every day afraid
and we're asking our youngest generation to work in environments where how would
any of us ever stand up and admit I made a mistake we're constantly being told
you have to be vulnerable leaders are vulnerable what does that even mean it
doesn't mean you walk around crying I'm vulnerable right know what vulnerability
means is you create an environment in which someone feels safe enough to raise
their hand and say I don't know what I'm doing you've given
me a job and I haven't been trained to do it I need help
I made a mistake I screwed something up I'm scared
I'm worried all of these things no one would ever admit inside a company
because it puts a target on your head in case there's another round and so we
keep it to ourselves and how can a company ever do well if nobody's ever
willing to admit they made a mistake that's scared or they don't know what
they're doing and so we've literally created cultures in which every single
day everybody comes to work and liya hai lies hides and fakes and we're asking
our youngest generation to work and succeed and find themselves and build
their confidence and overcome their addiction to technology and build strong
relationships at work we're asking to do this and these lis environments we've
created we keep saying to them you're the future leaders we're the leaders now
we're in control what are we doing this is what empathy means it means if
there's an entire generation struggling maybe it's not them
it's like you know the only thing that I that the common factor in all my failed
relationships me same thing Oh II just can't get the right act or you know the
right performance out of our people maybe it's you right it's not a
generation it's not them they're not difficult or hard to understand they're
human beings like the rest of us trying to find their way trying to work in a
place where they feel that someone cares about them as a human being by the way
that's what we all want in other words it's not even generational it's all of
us this is the practice of empathy that if wish struggling to communicate to
someone if it's struggling to help someone be at their natural best I'm
tired of people saying to me how do I get the best out of my people really
that's what you want they're like a towels Wingham how can I get the most
out of them know how do I help my people be at their natural best right we're not
asking these questions we are not practicing empathy we have to start by
practicing empathy and real - what they may be going through and it
will profoundly change the decisions we make it will profoundly change the way
we see the world someone's driving to work you're driving to work and someone
wants to cut into your lane what do you do if you pull your car up would you let
them in most of us pull our cars up and go like this you wait your turn now
let's practice empathy I don't know maybe they've been out of work for six
months maybe they had trouble getting the kids out to school this morning and
now they're running late for a really important interview and they just have
to get to this interview and they're gonna cut into our lane or maybe they're
just a bastard I don't know but that's the point we don't know we don't know
and the practice of empathy will say I'll let them in and I'll arrive to work
one car lengths late right we don't always have to be right we don't always
have to be in charge we don't have to be the one who succeeds it's not about
winning or losing and that's where I go to the second point after empathy comes
perspective where it's not about winning or losing in game theory there are two
kinds of games there are finite games and there are infinite games and this is
how you're gonna change your perspective right a finite game is defined as known
players fixed rules and an agreed upon objective baseball for example we know
the rules we all agree to the rules and whoever has more runs at the end of nine
innings is the winner and the game is over no one ever says if we can just
play two more innings I know we can come back doesn't work that way the game is
over right that's a finite game then you have an infinite game infinite games are
defined as known and unknown players the rules are changeable and the objective
is to keep the game in play to perpetuate the game when you pit a
finite player versus a finite player the system is stable
baseball is stable right when you pit an infant an infinite player versus an
infinite player this system is also stable like
the Cold War for example because there cannot be a winner and a loser there are
no winners and losers in an infinite game right it doesn't exist and because
there are no winners or losers what ends up happening in the infinite contest is
players drop out when they run out of the will or the resources to play but
there's no winners or losers problems arise when you pit a finite player
versus an infinite player because in a finite players playing to win and an
infinite player is to playing to keep the game going right this is what
happened to us in Vietnam we were playing to win and the Vietnamese were
fighting for their lives we were the ones who got stuck in quagmire this is
the Soviet Union in Afghanistan they were trying to beat the Mujahideen and
the Mujahideen would fight for as long as is necessary quagmire now let's look
at business the game of business has pre-existed or has existed long before
every single company that exists on this planet today and it will outlast every
single company that it lives that exists on this planet today there's no winning
the game of business and the reason is is because we haven't agreed to the
rules I get such a kick out of this you realize how many companies actually
don't know the game they're in right listen to the language of the companies
use we're trying to beat our competition we're trying to be number one did you
know that we were ranked number one look at the listing based on what criteria
revenues profits market share square footage number of employees based on
what time frame a quarter a year five years ten years 20 years 50 years 100
years I haven't agreed to those standards
how can you declare yourself the winner how can you declare yourself number one
where no one else in the game has agreed to the rules it's arbitrary there is no
winning because there's no end in other words companies are playing finite games
listen to their language they're trying to beat their competition what does that
even mean it's the leaders and the companies that
understand the game that they're in and organize their resources and their
decision-making around the infinite contest that outlast and frustrate their
competition all the companies that we've referred to as the exceptions Southwest
Airlines Apple compete harley-davidson they're the exception no
they're playing the infinite contest they frustrate their competition is what
happens that's what happens because they're not playing to win
Jim Senegal the founder of Costco which is the company the only real company
that gives Walmart a run for its money he says public companies are looking to
succeed for the quarter says we're looking for the next 50 years you can
hear him he's playing the infinite contest I spoke at a Leadership Summit
for Microsoft I also spoke at a Leadership Summit for Apple now at the
Microsoft summit I would say 70% of the executives and this was under the Steve
Ballmer days I would say about 70% of the executives spent about 70% of their
presentations talking about how to beat Apple at the Apple Summit a hundred
percent of the executives spent a hundred percent of their presentations
talking about how to help teachers teach and how to help students learn one was
obsessed with their competition the other one was obsessed with where
they're going so at the end of my presentation at Microsoft they gave me a
gift they gave me the new Zune which was the competitor to the iPod touch when it
was a thing right and I have to tell you this piece of technology was spectacular
it was beautiful the user interface was incredible the design was amazing it was
intuitive it was one of the most beautiful elegant pieces of technology
I'd ever seen right now.they it didn't work with iTunes which is an entirely
different problem I couldn't use it
but that's something else I'm sitting in the back of a taxi with a senior Apple
executive sort of employee number twelve kind of guy and I decide to stir the pot
and I turned him I say you know I spoke at a Microsoft summit and they gave me
their new Zune and I have to tell you it is so much better than your iPod touch
and he turned to me and said I have no doubt conversation over because the
infinite player isn't playing to be number one every day with every product
they're playing to outlast the competition if I had sent to Microsoft
oh I've got the new iPod touch it's so much better than your new Zune there was
a can we see it what does it do how we have to see it because one is obsessed
with their competition the other is obsessed with why they do what they do
the other is obsessed with where they're going and the reason Apple frustrates
their competition is because secretly they're not even competing against them
they're competing against themselves and they understand that sometimes you're a
little bit ahead and sometimes you're a little bit behind and sometimes your
product is better and sometimes you're not but if you wake up every single
morning and compete against yourself how do I make our products better than they
were yesterday how do I take care of our customers better than we did yesterday
how do we advance our cause more efficiently more productively than we
did yesterday how do we find new solutions to advance our calling our
cause our purpose our belief are why every single day what you'll find is
over time you will probably be ahead more often those who play the infinite
game understand it's not about the battle it's about the war and they don't
play to win every day and they frustrate their competition until their
competition drops out of the game every single bankruptcy almost every merger
and acquisition is basically a company saying we no longer have the will or the
resources to continue to play and we have no choice to either drop out of the
game or or merge our resources with another
player so that we can stay in the game that's what that is and if you think
about the number of bankruptcies and mergers and acquisitions it's kind of
proof that most companies don't even know the game they're in you want to be
a great leader start with empathy you want to be a great leader change your
perspective and play the game you're actually playing thank you very much
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