- Principal Mullins caught you on the roof
throwing water balloons at unsuspecting children.
And while that's hilarious... [laughing]
as a teacher, I had no choice.
- But we were both throwing water balloons off the roof.
- That's why I had no choice but to blame it on you.
- [armor clanking]
- Notice anything different about me?
- You're wearing your mom's car?
- No, it's my new invention for laser tag.
It's called "Stealth Armor."
While I'm wearing it, I'm undetectable.
- [armor clanking]
- Where'd Lawrence go?
- I have to sit down. This stuff weighs a ton.
- [armor clanking]
- Okay, I got this.
Oh! - [heavy thud]
- Need some help there, L-train?
- No, don't help me. I need to do this myself.
Just ignore me.
[straining] - [armor clanks]
- [straining]
- Don't even know you're there, Larry.
- Guys, check this out.
- [electric guitar music]
- That's awesome.
- But it needs to be filled out.
- TOMIKA: Hm...
How about something like this...
- [electric bass music]
- Oh, that's great.
The Austin Music Fest is coming up
and it's our best chance to get our stuff to Mick Bronson.
- That's right.
If we have the right song to give him,
it could be our big break.
No pressure, guys...
but it better be the greatest thing you've ever written.
- How about this?
- [electric bass music]
- That's sweet.
Then I was thinking the chorus could break like this.
- [electric guitar music]
- [groaning] - [armor clanking]
- Wait a minute. I just remembered.
I built in a power booster.
- [smoke hissing]
- [coughing, sputtering]
Nope, that's the smoke screen.
[coughing continues]
- ¶
- Okay, your first day of detention.
Have you learned your lesson?
- Yeah, when your teacher says,
"Hey, dude, you wanna go drop water balloons
off the roof with me?"
Say no.
- Hm, I didn't say "dude," I said "brah."
What kind of animals leave garbage on the ground?
- Dewey Finn, for one. This has your name on it.
- But that can't be mine.
My empty yogurt container's
on the floor of my van where it belongs.
- Look.
- Hey, this is one of my goat yogurts
from the teachers' lounge.
This is serious. Someone stole this from me.
Did you do it, Freddy?
- Me? No!
- Well, I'm just sayin' you've kinda
got a bad reputation lately, with detention and everything.
- It was your idea.
- Okay, your alibi checks out. [sighing]
All right, it's time to get hardcore.
- I know exactly what to do.
- Leave them a sternly- worded note?
- No, I'm talking about one of those
bank robbery booby traps.
When the thief opens it, boom,
blue dye all over his face.
Then you'll know who's been stealing your yogurt.
- Freddy, Travis Prep teachers aren't little kids.
They're reasonable adults.
- Excuse me? Excuse me, Miss Mendoza?
That's my book.
- It doesn't seem to have your, uh, your name in it.
- It was on my desk.
- Well...Ahhhhh!
Want it back now?
- Okay, it's on, Janice!
- [grunt of effort] - Oh!
- Who you lookin' at, Goldilocks?
[sniffing]
- That, uh, booby trap idea is starting to look better.
- Hey, Summs, almost ready.
- Okay, but you guys have been at this for two days,
and I wanna go to the mall.
The pet store just got a fresh batch
of puppies and I'm starving.
Wait, those two things are totally unrelated.
- Zack, the laser tag tournament's today.
We've gotta get there early to practice.
- You practice? - We'll be done in a second.
- Yeah, we're trying to come up with some lyrics for our song.
- They say you've gotta write what you know.
- Okay, well, what about this?
¶ You're a goofy-footed rail-grinding girl ¶
¶ Who takes life for a 720 whirl ¶
- Yeah, I'm not sure who's gonna relate to that.
- All the left-footed skater girls in secret bands.
That's pretty universal.
- Uh, not as universal as my superhero song.
Check it.
¶ Dressed like a dolphin without any fear ¶
¶ But under your mask there is cheer ¶
- That's ten-times worse.
And what superhero dresses like a dolphin?
- ZACK & LAWRENCE: The Blowhole!
[chattering like dolphin]
- TOMIKA & SUMMER: Ewwwww!
- Tomika, we really should get going.
- Yeah, Zack, you can work on this later.
We've got lasers to tag. - Hold on.
- Yeah, what about a hot dog song?
- Nah, let's try gerbils. - What is happening?!
- ¶
- I can't believe Zack just blew me off.
It's as if he thinks laser tag is just a game.
- Well, Tomika blew me off.
Now I have to go to the mall alone.
- Why don't you come with me?
- [laughs] No way.
- Hear me out. It's fun.
Plus, I really need someone to fill in for Zack,
and Freddy has detention.
- Well, I don't know anything about laser tag.
- I'll try to explain it to you.
You play tag with lasers.
- It sounds dumb. No thanks.
- They have pretzels the size of my butt.
- Again, no thanks.
- Winner gets a ribbon. - [squeals]
I'm in!
- I'm looking at a list of the most popular songs,
and they're all about love.
- Okay, well, let's just listen to a love song
to get the hang of it.
- Okay, um...
Here's one of the biggest love songs of all time.
- [piano ballad music]
- MAN: ¶ My love ¶
¶ There's only you in my life ¶
¶ The only thing that's right ¶
- WOMAN: ¶ My first love ¶
¶ You're every breath that I take ¶
¶ You're every step I make ¶
- MAN & WOMAN: ¶ And I... ¶
- MAN: ¶ I want to share ¶
- MAN & WOMAN: ¶ All my love ¶
- Give it to me!
- [cell phone thuds]
- [shudders] Okay.
[exhales]
Okay, let's write one of those.
- They stole my yogurt again.
It's like no one cares about my colon.
- Look, I still say we should set up a booby trap.
- No, let's use our brains.
What do we know about this criminal?
- Well, we know he likes goat yogurt.
- Yes, and that he has access to the teachers' lounge.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Here, run this through the database.
- What database?
- Oh, I forgot that part.
Make a database.
- ¶
- Guys, I'd like you to meet Summer.
Summer, this is Ali, Billy and Gordo and,
you know the Beyoncé to my Jay Z, Esme.
We are the Lawrencians.
- Um, we actually took a vote and we're the Photon Rebels.
- [palm slap]
- The name isn't important.
I promise you guys are going to love Summer.
- Hi!
- Did he promise you butt-sized pretzels?
- Yes.
- That's how he gets you.
- Okay, Lawrencians. - Photon Rebels!
- Whatever.
- [laser gun blasting] - Oh, fun!
- Remember, we have to lure the enemy in,
so, it's crucial that we work as a team
and that you only go-- - All right! Let's do this!
Summer Hathaway! - [laser gun blasting]
- Wooo!
- [laser guns blasting]
- I don't love her so far.
- ¶
- So, uh, how'd the research go?
- Oh, it turns out a lot of love songs are about kissing.
Maybe we should start with a kissing lyric.
- Okay...
kissing song.
Well, what about this?
¶ Your lips are my key to paradise ¶
¶ Like pizza--wish I could grab a slice ¶
Is that any good?
- It did kinda make me sick.
- That means it's working.
- Do you think kissing really does make people fall in love?
- Hm...maybe.
- I wonder when I'll have my first kiss?
Oops! - [cell phone clatters]
- [kissing]
- Well, that was sooner than I expected.
- ¶
- So, should...should we talk about--
- The what? - The song.
- Yes, the song. Good. Great idea.
Um, you were figuring out what it was like
to be in love. - In love?
- For the song.
Wow, is that the time?
Oh, well, my mom's making kissed roast.
She said to be home by kiss 30. Oh!
- Yeah, I...I have a thing to do, too,
so, let's totally get back to the song-song soon.
I'm so into it. - You are?
Me, too! Nothing's on my mind more.
- It is?
Well, bye, pal.
- Later, buddy.
- [laser gun blasting]
[laser gun blasting] - LAWRENCE: I come in peace.
- Lawrence?
- Um, can we talk? - Sure.
When you first told me about laser tag,
I thought I would hate it. [laughs]
But it turns out it is so Zen.
Eat lasers, dirtbag!
- [laser gun blasting]
- Yeah, there's an inner peace about you.
The thing is that-- - Get down!
- [laser gun blasting] - Ow!
- [laser gun blasting] - [groans]
- Watch your flank meat.
- Okay.
Look, I was hoping you'd, you know,
be more of a team player.
- What? I'm doing great. I'm points leader.
- Yeah, but our team is losing,
and if you'd just play with us,
we could all win.
- I'm sorry, Lawrence,
I like being a lone wolf.
It's so freeing.
- I didn't wanna resort to Plan B.
Cuckoo! Cuckoo! - What are you doing?
- It's my secret signa-- I mean, nothing.
Summer, come back to the team,
or we're gonna be forced to take you out of the game.
- SUMMER: [roaring]
- [laser gun blasting]
- I can't believe you turned on me.
- Now you know how it feels.
- [laser gun blasting]
- Who all are your friends? - You are.
- Where I come from, friends don't blast friends.
- ¶
- I'm telling you-- she "like" likes me.
- That makes no sense.
Who would like you?
- What's that supposed to mean?
- I'm just saying no one would kiss you on purpose.
Now don't you feel better?
- No! You're hurting my feelings.
I just want things to go back to the way they were
before Tomika was chasing after me.
Just in case-- I brought this.
- What's that?
- Skunk juice.
One spray and I'll smell so disgusting
no one will ever come near me.
But I only wanna use it as a last resort.
- I think you should just pretend the kiss never happened.
- You think that'll work? - I don't know.
- [liquid splatters]
- Why'd you do that?
- Do what?
- You just spit lemonade all over my face.
- No, I didn't. - You totally--
Oh, I get it. - Get what?
- [sighs] That could work.
Plus, I got her some chocolate milk
as a peace offering.
- Look, there's only one way to solve this.
Kiss all your friends.
That way, you're on an even playing field.
I'm ready.
Hold it for five seconds or it doesn't count.
- I'm not going to kiss you.
- Now whose feelings are hurt?
- Uh, what's going on?
- Well, we were supposed to have the sixth grade Mozart Festival,
but Gary the Janitor has the only key to the auditorium
and he's out sick. - Hmm...
well, if it's helpful,
I know a guy who can get into any lock.
- A locksmith? - Not professionally.
[silently] I'll call him.
- Mind...mind if I join you?
- Why would I mind?
- What's that?
- Oh, this?
This is just my new headgear.
My orthodontist said I only have to wear it during school,
and after-school songwriting,
and certain lunches.
- Oops. What was that?
- My term paper on Shakespeare.
- Oh.
My back really hurts or I'd pick it up.
You gonna pick it up?
- Nah, I'll just write another one.
- Look, I just wanna say that I'm glad we're friends--
just very special friends,
and I got you a little something
to show you how much I like being your friend.
- No, no need for gifts, really.
I just wanna get back to the songwriting.
- Me, too.
- I think this thing you and I are doing
is making something magical happen.
- No, no, no magic.
[gasping] I have no choice.
- Breath spray?
[shrieking]
- Skunk mouth!
- ¶
- We're pinned down.
We're never gonna get out of here.
- We're gonna lose the tournament for sure.
- When I first started blasting people with lasers,
I never knew I'd be blasting my heart.
- I'm so bummed, I can't even eat this pretzel.
- Well, I'd be happy to. - Back off, Billium!
- I'm sorry, guys. I let you down.
You don't have to be the Lawrencians.
We should be the Photon Rebels.
- It doesn't matter what we're called.
Only the winners get their names on the scoreboard
and we're toast.
- MALE PLAYER: Move in, guys. Let's finish them.
- It's been an honor serving alongside you.
- We feel the same way.
- [dramatic music]
- [laser gun blasting]
- So, what's the plan, guys?
- Summer, what are you doing here?
- It turns out I'm not a lone wolf after all.
- Maybe we can win.
- What changed your mind? - You did.
I don't wanna win if it means hurting you.
- Thanks, friend. - SUMMER: [chuckles]
- [dramatic music]
- [laser gun blasting]
- Summer, you crazy kid, what did you do?
- I did it for you.
[gasping] I'm so c-c-cold.
Lawrence, you should have told me to bring a sweater.
- I should have done a lot of things.
- I think this is it for me.
- [suit powers up] - Ooh, I'm back!
- Let's go, Photon Rebels! - Not Photon Rebels.
- We took another vote.
- ALL: Lawrencians!
- [knock on door]
- Mr. Finn, can I talk to you?
- Sorry, Tomika, this is detention time only.
- I could break a window and come back.
- Ah, just sit down.
You can't get in trouble when you're with me.
- Seriously?
- I don't know how to say this,
but I think Zack might be in love with me.
- Really?
You're probably just imagining that.
- He started writing me love lyrics,
then he bought me gifts, and then he kissed me.
- Yep, that's love all right.
Congratulations.
- No. Ew.
I don't want him to love me.
I just want us to be friends--like before.
- Then just tell him.
Look, I know it's hard,
but until you're truly honest,
you'll never get the results you want.
- But what if he stops being my friend completely?
- You've gotta take a chance.
Look at me.
People were stealing my goat yogurt,
and I wrote them a very honest note.
- And?
- Someone corrected the spelling,
but still, I got my yogurt.
- Mr. Finn, wait! - [ooze splats]
- Don't...open...that.
- Maybe next time lead with "Don't open that," mm-hm?
- ¶
- Zack?
[grunts] - [metal clanks]
- [grunts] - [metal clanks]
- Zack!
[grunts] - [glass shatters]
- What candle through yonder window breaks?
- Tomika?
- Zack...
I have to tell you what's in my heart.
- Oh, man, don't make this weird.
- I don't love you.
- I'm not worthy of you. What?
- I don't love you.
- Really?
- Yes.
I'm sorry.
- I don't love you either.
- You're just saying that.
- No. Seriously.
I don't have any feelings for you at all.
- But you kissed me.
- No, you kissed me. I was bending down.
- Me, too.
So, we really don't love each other.
- Not at all.
- You've made me the happiest girl in the world.
- I'm walking on air.
This means we can be friends again.
- And finish the song.
- Well, you'd better get outta here.
That window you broke activated the silent alarm.
- Oh!
- You know, you were my first kiss.
- You were mine, too.
- That's kinda nice.
- Yeah. We'll have that forever.
- If it had to be a friend,
I'm glad it was you and not Freddy or Lawrence.
- [laughing]
Goodnight. Goodnight.
Parting is such sweet-- - [alarm blaring]
- Gotta go.
- [alarm continues blaring]
- ¶ When I saw you from across the room ¶
- ¶ I hoped you would stay there ¶
- ¶ Boom boom ¶
- ¶ And the first time we ever met ¶
- ¶ Wasn't much to remember ¶
- ¶ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ¶
¶ When they say it's meant to be ¶
¶ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ¶
¶ They're not talkin' 'bout you and me 'cause ¶
¶ This is a lot of things ¶
¶ Friendship and all it brings ¶
¶ But I I thank the skies above ¶
¶ For one thing that we're not ¶
¶ This isn't love ¶
¶ La la la la la la la la ¶
- ¶ Yeah yeah ¶
- ¶ This isn't love ¶
¶ La la la la la la la la ¶
- ¶ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ¶
- ¶ I'm not weak in the knees ¶
¶ My heart's not skipping a beat ¶
¶ Some worlds collide ¶
¶ But you and me we're better side-by-side ¶
¶ This is a lot of things ¶
¶ Friendship and all it brings ¶
¶ But I I thank the skies above ¶
¶ For one thing that we're not ¶
¶ This isn't love ¶¶
- ALL: [cheering, applauding,
- ¶
- I told you that...
- Good day, gentlemen.
- I think we know who's been stealing the yogurt.
- [laughing]
It's her, right?
- ¶
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